Reality of the Unseen - Part 3

[indigo]

"All the creative power of the universe streams through us, if we don't block it."

I will not block it thanks City.

[Fluttering]

By the grace of the Spirit of the Universe, I too, am grateful the blocks and high walls are being torn down

[citychick]

May 2, 2008.

thanks guys for your love and inspiration each day

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.


One must be leery of words because they turn into cages.

-Viola Spolin

We defeat ourselves with labels. We hem ourselves in; we shorten our vision; we cut off opportunities in the making. We influence how others think of us, too. Someone wise said that we teach others how to treat us. Are we teaching people to expect nothing great from us – because we are always afraid? Do we shatter their vision of our potential – by never thinking we can handle what may come?

We become the persons we have programmed ourselves to be. We can revamp the program, anytime. And right now is the time to begin. We are surrounded by persons who have done just that.

It’s time for praise. We are all that we need to be, and more. We will be helped to do all that we are asked to do. We have an inner beauty that only needs encouragement to shine forth. If we smile from within today, we will free ourselves from our negative cages. A new life awaits us.

***************

To catch myself each time I insult myself will be a challenge, but one worth taking on. And it’s one I can win!

[Fluttering]

Thank You CC..
The labels and sterotyping is not something I accept gracefully.. Society has a whle has trained us to do so
But by the grace of HP and the help of our recovery family we can change that mode of thinking

[citychick]

I agree Fluttering..labels and stereotyping smother the creative individualism in all of us.

[citychick]

May 3, 2008.

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.

……love is a great beautifier.

-Louisa May Alcott

Meeting life head-on, with a smile, attracts people and situations to us. Our attitudes shape our world – which is not to deny that problems do occur. However, problems can be viewed as special opportunities for personal growth – as gifts, more or less, that we are ready to receive. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. The stumbling blocks we encounter push us beyond our present awareness. They teach us that we are stronger and more creative than we’d thought. Problem solving is esteem building.

Negatively confronting the day is sure to complicate any day. A simple misunderstanding can be exaggerated into a grave situation, requiring the energy of many people to handle to pay it. On the other hand, a patient, trusting, loving attitude can turn a grave situation into a positive learning experience for all affected.

We can beautify the day by smiling throughout all the experiences it offers us. The expression of love to everyone we meet guarantees to make us more lovable.

***********

How great is my influence today! I can go forth feeling love, if I choose to-guaranteeing an enjoyable day for me and everyone I meet.

[IO Storm]

When the student is ready, the teacher appears. The stumbling blocks we encounter push us beyond our present awareness. They teach us that we are stronger and more creative than we’d thought. Problem solving is esteem building.

I am so so grateful I met with my sponsor and shared with her some recent events

...we had not been able to meet for awhile...I paced her floor, we both cried..I spilled

my guts...and met everything.."head on"...and then we "problem solved"...together.

What a tremendous gift I have in her...

"We can't do it alone".

[citychick]

May 8, 2008.

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.


The battle to keep up appearances unnecessarily, the mask-whatever name you give creeping perfectionism-robs us of our energies.

-Robin Worthington

How familiar we are with trying to be women other than ourselves; ones more exciting, we think, or sexier, or smarter. We have probably devoted a great deal of energy to this over the years. It’s likely we are growing more content with ourselves now. However, aren’t there still situations in which we squirm, both because we want to project a different image, and because we resent our desire to do so?

We each have been blessed with unique qualities. There is no other women just like ourselves. We each have special features that are projected in only one way, the way we alone project them.

Knowing that we are perfect as we are is knowledge that accompanies recovery. How much easier life is, how much more can be gained from each moment, when we meet each moment in the comfort of our own selves. The added gift of being ourselves is that we really hear, see, and understand others for the first time in our lives.

*************

I can fully focus on only one thing, one person at a time. I will free my focus from myself today and be filled up by my experiences with others.

[Ann]

Thanks, CC, I forget that I don't have to be perfect in every thing I do, and I need this reminder today. "Perfect" is a standard I may set for myself that is never achievable. No matter how well I do, I keep setting the bar higher and today I am knocking that dang bar down and just going to celebrate being ME, warts and all. Now THAT's perfect

[Rusty Zipper]

i'll help you knock that bar down ann!

[indigo]

I'll celebrate with you all, thank you.

[Enquire]

Originally Posted by citychick

The battle to keep up appearances unnecessarily, the mask-whatever name you give creeping perfectionism-robs us of our energies.
-Robin Worthington

How much easier life is, how much more can be gained from each moment, when we meet each moment in the comfort of our own selves. The added gift of being ourselves is that we really hear, see, and understand others for the first time in our lives.

I can fully focus on only one thing, one person at a time. I will free my focus from myself today and be filled up by my experiences with others.

Citichik (!), Ann, Rusty Z, Indigo, IO Storm, Fluttering;
You all seem so self-assured, like you GET this, even LIVE this. I KNOW what is discussed here, though seem to routinely fail at actually practicing it. So quick to cower and cater to the expectations others have of me. Up to and including those expectations I do not accept for myself, for my life. It's as though I think I'm supposed to live for others EXTERNALLY, while living for myself only in secret.

It's not that I require perfection of myself, nor do I think what I want in life is anything less than genuinely acceptable. But others have other ideas for me and of me. So I resort to hiding, even lying, about who I am and what I want, so to appease their expectations. So I can be myself in private. And yet, I don't want to live in private! It takes a terrible lot of energy! I want to share freely of myself, what I have to offer, with others.

It seems so obvious, to just be myself, live according to the standards I set for myself. But how does one get past that judgment of others, who tell me I'm "untrustworthy", that the things I say "don't add up", that my judgment is questionable. I'm reminded, nearly daily, that I'm a liar. And sometimes, I do lie, out of fear of judgment, to avoid conflict and debate about who I am and what I want in life.

How does one go about finding the courage to stand up for what they believe to be right; how does one demand the right to be themselves, in the face of such terrible ongoing conflict and anger and debate?
Help?

[Ann]

Enquire, I'm glad you joined us here. I understand your questions completely because until I was almost 50 years old, I didn't know who I was, what my dreams were and what was right for me. As a codependent I was always a reflection of those I loved...my mother's daughter, my husband's wife, my son's mother, my employer's employee...you get the gist.

Going to meetings at a fellowship called CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) and learning to find my balance in life, helped me. As did reading a terrific book called "Codependent No More". Codependency is not just something that happens to those who love addicts, it's an internal emotional, spiritual and physical dysfunction often going back to early childhood issues.

Read that book and I think it will help. And stick around SR, it's a great place to find recovery even by osmosis.

I'm grateful that I got to know that stranger called "me", and grateful for those here who have walked with me through dark days and days of radiance.

I love my life today, and I promise you that you can love your life too, once you learn a good way to live it.

Hope this helps a little.

Hugs

[citychick]

Hi Enquire,

We just need to take small steps in the right direction and self-acceptance kind of sneaks up on us. Well, that’s how it works for me.

“how do we get past the judgment of others.”

The program tells us that what other people think of us is none of our business. For me it took practice at not hanging on to the negative feelings that came up when I felt I’d been judged by someone else. It was a matter of saying to myself ‘no’ I’m not going to dwell on this,’ and letting go.

You’re a lovely person sandy, with many fine qualities to share. You’re perfect just the way you are!

[Rusty Zipper]

Enquire

its none of our business what anyone thinks of us!

that was my start!

then a belief in me...

that, and a belief, a faith, and a trust in something, other then me alone...

that helped rid me of my fears, and i was one hell of a fear based drunk!

good wishes En

xxoo

rz