Grief

[Fluttering]

Todays Gift from Hazelton is a very good one today:

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Good Grief

"The strangest thing happened," said my friend, a lovably neurotic, very obsessive businessman in his mid-forties.

"I was watching one of those afternoon TV talk show. This one was about problem kids. A parent comes on. She talks about how out of control her child is. Then a parenting expert comes on. He does tough love with the kids, like a drill sergeant, screaming and getting in their faces. Then he takes the troubled kids for a week and straightens them out.

"So this nine-year-old boy comes on. He's been a monster. Killing animals in the neighborhood. Driving his mother nuts. The drill sergeant guy gets right up in this kid's face. He's screaming. 'You think you're tough? You're a tough guy?'

"The expert's screaming at the kid. The kid is just standing there. And I'm watching this thinking Maybe this kid is just a bad seed. 'How'd you like me to come home with you for a week? Be in your face like this all the time,' the expert hollered. 'Would you like that?'

"'Yes,' the boy said.

"'What did you say? Yes? You'd like that? Why would you like that?'

"'Because I don't have a dad,'" the kid said. The boy's lip quivered. The expert got silent. The audience went nuts. But that's not the strange thing," my friend said. "Melody, I started crying. Sobbing like a baby. I haven't cried for ten years."

"What do you think that was about?" I asked.

"I realized how much I missed having a dad," he said. "When people asked me, I always said it wasn't important. I didn't know until I saw that show and started crying that you could miss something you never had."

Sometimes we don't know what or whom we're missing.

"How can I stop feeling so blue about being separated from my children?" another friend asked when business had taken him away from home for a month. "You're asking the wrong person," I said, "It has been eleven years since my son died, and I still miss him every day."

Grief. It may strike suddenly, catching our heart by surprise. Or it may pound relentlessly and persistently for years, like ocean waves beating on the shore.

Whether we're conscious of what or whom we're missing, our heart knows. We may never be happy about whom or what we have lost, but it is possible to be happy again.

Grief isn't an abnormal condition. It's nature's way of healing our heart.

You are reading from the book:
52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

[Ann]

Wow, that touched my heart for so many reasons. Thanks Fluttering, I need to think on this one.

Hugs

[indigo]

Yes you have moved my soul sweet Flutter.........thank you.

[Fluttering]

Aw shucks



Just giving a little something back to all who have given me a tremendous amount of inspiration and motivation

[Fluttering]

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

No matter what faces us - an unhappy relationship, a serious operation or illness, a feeling of uselessness or helplessness - it is vital to realize that there is a solution.

We must not expect that the solution to our problem will bring us immediate peace of mind. Focusing our energies and emotions on the answer - not the problem - will, however, alleviate much of the futility and frustration we feel.

A medical doctor, George S. Stevenson, wrote, "The solution may not give you everything you want. Sometimes, it may give you nothing but a chance to start all over again. But whatever little it gives you is much more than you give yourself by letting your emotions tear you apart. "

Today I will focus my energies and emotions on the solution, not the problem. I will allow the solution to flow through me, with the help of my Higher Power, knowing there is a satisfactory answer to my difficulty.

You are reading from the book:



The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

[Fluttering]

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.
- Keshavan Nair

[Fluttering]

Failure is impossible.
--Susan B. Anthony

Failure is an attitude. Having an attitude of failure can't help us. It can only hurt us. If we're not careful, it can grow into a way of life. So, when we feel like failures, we'd better look at our attitudes.

An attitude of failure often comes from making mistakes. But we can learn to see our mistakes as lessons. This turns mistakes into gains, not failures. Sometimes, we try to do things that just can't be done. When we act like we can control others, we're going to fail. When we act like we know everything, we're going to fail. If we try to act like God, we're going to fail.

We can't control others. We can't know everything. We're not God. We're human. If we act human, we've already won.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to learn from my attitudes. Whatever the outcome, help me learn.

Action for the Day

Facing our past "failures" is the first step to learning from them. I'll talk to my sponsor about a past failure and the good that came from it.

You are reading from the book: Keep It Simple by Anonymous

[indigo]

Thank you sweet Mary for this beautiful thread.

[Fluttering]

Almost everyone wants something/or nothing.
--Marsha Sinetar

Bargains attract. Finding a good value excites us, and we share the news quickly. Wanting anything for free is human nature perhaps. However, we have had to learn again and again that you get what you pay for. This is true of human interactions too.

Why do we think that others will be there for us if we aren't available for them? Having friends means being a friend, even if it's time-consuming. Although friendship's rewards are indisputable, we still tend to wait, letting the other person make the first move. Getting the other person to commit first reduces our effort, perhaps, but we will still receive according to what we give.

Knowing and utilizing this principle simplifies our lives. Once we master it, we never forget it. And what we bring to our relationships will be given back to us.

I am willing to give to others what I want in return today. Their efforts will match my own.

You are reading from the book: A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

[Fluttering]

A way forward
Whatever happens, there is a way forward. Remember that as you welcome each moment and each new development.
Out of any circumstance, you can find a positive pathway. In any situation, there is the opportunity to create success and to experience fulfillment.

Be unconditionally thankful for the moment you're in. Because the moment you're in is filled with real possibilities.

Your gratitude will enable you to see the best of those possibilities. Your expectation of finding the best way forward will enable you to begin moving solidly forward.

There is much to be gained by planning and preparing, by anticipating what is most likely to happen and being ready for it. Yet there is no reason to be paralyzed by worry or fear, because you have what it takes to handle even the most unexpected setbacks.

Know that always, whatever may come, there is a realistic way forward. Have the confidence to find that way, and take yourself to magnificent new heights.

-- Ralph Marston

[Fluttering]

If you're dog-tired at night, it may be because you growled all day.
--War Cry

Negative attitudes wear us out. Assuming the worst will happen, focusing on just our faults, constant complaining, are attitudes that bring us down. If we stumble on a flight of stairs and feel embarrassed, it's going to feel even worse if we growl and curse. We'll feel much better if we laugh at ourselves and see the humor.

People want to be around those who are cheerful. The good cheer we send out will come back to us from others who are healthy. We can choose these cheerful people as our friends, and our happiness will grow and blossom in this good soil.

Today let me try to say something cheerful to another.

You are reading from the book: Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

[Fluttering]

Be clear about why
When your reason for doing so is meaningful enough, you can bear any burden and prevail through any challenge. When you know why, you'll have what it takes to work through how.

If you have a sense that something is too complicated, that merely means that you don't have a compelling enough reason to figure it out. Know why you seek to understand, and that understanding will surely come.

Before beginning any endeavor, take the time to be completely clear with yourself about the reason why. Solidly connecting with the why will activate skills, capabilities and effectiveness that you may not have even known you had.

Whether you seek to motivate yourself or others, a fundamental, essential part of that motivation is knowing why. Without a reason, all the abilities, opportunities, efforts and resources in the world will yield nothing of any value.

Purpose is what makes possibilities come to life. Keep reminding yourself why, in rich and colorful detail, and you will find a way to do whatever you intend to do.

Before you even think about how to proceed, make sure you clearly know why. After that, you'll begin moving forward faster and more reliably than you ever could have thought possible.

-- Ralph Marston

[Fluttering]

No man is more cheated than the selfish man.
--Henry Ward Beecher

When we're selfish, we close off the channels of exchange with others. Not only are we grabbing and holding all the goods or attention we can get, but we are denying others the possibility of sharing with us in the benefits. We may be selfish in material goods, but there are many other ways too. Some of us expect our spouses to meet our needs while we make little effort to meet theirs. Some of us discover our selfishness as we drive, refusing to yield a position to another car or getting furious if we lose a place in heavy traffic.

By contrast, our generosity and welcoming responses nourish the spirit within us and create a good environment for our growth. Sometimes giving does not come easily We have a more generous spirit when we are in touch with our ultimate vulnerability. All of life is fragile, and we need each other to have a good life. We can truly hold on to nothing but ourselves. Giving what we can of our time, our energy, and our goods, helps create the kind of world we want to live in.

Today, I will look for ways to be generous with those with whom I share this world.

You are reading from the book: Touchstones by Anonymous

[Fluttering]

Peaceful effectiveness
Be continually at peace with yourself, and absolutely anything is possible. Rid your mind of all inner conflict, and the outer conflicts will not matter.
Realize that you can transcend anything, and everything becomes an opportunity. Decline to be caught up in the wasteful, destructive power struggles of the world, and you'll find the real power to create according to your highest vision.

Gratefully and graciously accept each day as it comes. Let go of what has been, and eagerly take in all that is.

Choose your intentions as if they will come to life in great abundance. For when those intentions are sincerely filled with positive, meaningful purpose, they will indeed become real.

Instead of struggling to get one up on everyone else, raise your awareness to the point at which the competition is insignificant. Get in the habit of creating value, and you won't feel the need to take it from others.

To be truly effective, be truly peaceful, sincere, thankful and accepting. Find delight and fulfillment in pulling all of life forward.

-- Ralph Marston