Class of June 2018 Part 1
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Originally Posted by ProfessorD 
And I agree, Dee's point that "drinking because you can is one of the lamest excuses our AV has" is so, so helpful. Dee how are you always so helpful and say just the right thing? 
Welcome back Sober - I had to get to a point where I accepted any amount of alcohol just wasn't workable for me anymore.
Even with the massive changes I had to make to my life as a result, it was a relief to finally accept that.
D
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Hi ProfD,
You and I have been on similar paths. I'm back to drinking but committed to sobriety as of tomorrow. It's miserable. Don't do it. Your AV wants you to think you'll have a great time feeding it while hubby is away. The freedom...right? Being able to do whatever we want. But really it just enslaves us all over again. How about a movie and pizza? I guarantee you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself tomorrow and the next day. I'm still posting in the April class since that is when I had most sober time. But I really can't believe I keep believing the lie of alcohol. I have gained 5 lbs in just a few days, I'm not running at all right now, and I'm as lazy as ever. It's a terrible mind game and I hope we can get this sober thing for good. Hugs to you.
You and I have been on similar paths. I'm back to drinking but committed to sobriety as of tomorrow. It's miserable. Don't do it. Your AV wants you to think you'll have a great time feeding it while hubby is away. The freedom...right? Being able to do whatever we want. But really it just enslaves us all over again. How about a movie and pizza? I guarantee you'll feel a whole lot better about yourself tomorrow and the next day. I'm still posting in the April class since that is when I had most sober time. But I really can't believe I keep believing the lie of alcohol. I have gained 5 lbs in just a few days, I'm not running at all right now, and I'm as lazy as ever. It's a terrible mind game and I hope we can get this sober thing for good. Hugs to you.
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Quitnow4, I am so glad to hear from you and so sad you are drinking/ so happy you are back on SR! Missed you
I wish I had read your message earlier. I'll join you for day 1 tomorrow. I effed it up again--just 2 drinks, then stopped it... but I'm getting back up immediately. I need to work on my "why," I think. There was a moment when I couldn't think of a single reason why NOT to drink...and so I did. That can't be good, right?
Ugh. Ya'll know the rest. [Fill in self-loathing and hatred here].
I wish I had read your message earlier. I'll join you for day 1 tomorrow. I effed it up again--just 2 drinks, then stopped it... but I'm getting back up immediately. I need to work on my "why," I think. There was a moment when I couldn't think of a single reason why NOT to drink...and so I did. That can't be good, right?
Ugh. Ya'll know the rest. [Fill in self-loathing and hatred here].
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Welcome back Prof.
Yeah I think if you can't think of a single reason why not, you need to wait longer or work harder, or both.
Thats the way I did it.
Maybe starting such a list now will help for next time?
D
Yeah I think if you can't think of a single reason why not, you need to wait longer or work harder, or both.
Thats the way I did it.
Maybe starting such a list now will help for next time?
D
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Sorry I meant wait longer before you drink. Try something like Urge Surfing. maybe?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery/just wow.....242563-urge-surfing.html
I'm not a fan of 'waiting til we're ready' cos some of us die before that... and some of us never are ready.
And by work harder I mean work harder to bring to mind your many reasons not to drink again - re-reading old posts or threads here is great for that.
Its a lot of work, but its for a good cause - you
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery/just wow.....242563-urge-surfing.html
I'm not a fan of 'waiting til we're ready' cos some of us die before that... and some of us never are ready.
And by work harder I mean work harder to bring to mind your many reasons not to drink again - re-reading old posts or threads here is great for that.
Its a lot of work, but its for a good cause - you
D
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Originally Posted by ProfessorD
Quitnow4, I am so glad to hear from you and so sad you are drinking/ so happy you are back on SR! Missed you
I wish I had read your message earlier. I'll join you for day 1 tomorrow. I effed it up again--just 2 drinks, then stopped it... but I'm getting back up immediately. I need to work on my "why," I think. There was a moment when I couldn't think of a single reason why NOT to drink...and so I did. That can't be good, right?
Ugh. Ya'll know the rest. [Fill in self-loathing and hatred here].
I wish I had read your message earlier. I'll join you for day 1 tomorrow. I effed it up again--just 2 drinks, then stopped it... but I'm getting back up immediately. I need to work on my "why," I think. There was a moment when I couldn't think of a single reason why NOT to drink...and so I did. That can't be good, right?
Ugh. Ya'll know the rest. [Fill in self-loathing and hatred here].
Tonight I too felt for a few minutes that I could but I paused-replayed in my head where “I” get’s me every time and that’s to a place of self loathing and despair. I don’t want that anymore and therefore have to hand it over to that higher power who can, and does every time I let go of it!
So, dust off, it’s not failure but rather learning. All those days added up... you learned stuff in those sober days and that’s not lost and means something! This minute and forward is ahead put back into action what you gained and don’t sit with what you think you’ve lost. Stronger you are, just look... you recognized, stopped, owned it and now you push past to tomorrow. Much love!
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Dee, I know I'm making excuses here, BUT I have read that technique so many times and practiced urge surfing daily. It was just relentless, all day, today. I couldn't stop. And I started my own thread and reread my posts last night to see what I was thinking, etc. Plus I have my own journal. It was like one moment I was resolved and then the next I wasn't stable.
I just don't know. I am so bored of myself and this cycle. I get frustrated with people who repeatedly post about not getting sober on this site....and here I am. I am totally 100% aware that all drunks declare themselves unique and uncurable Just frustrated. Tomorrow I'll be better.
Thanks for always being here. Really important, even if I'm failing...
I just don't know. I am so bored of myself and this cycle. I get frustrated with people who repeatedly post about not getting sober on this site....and here I am. I am totally 100% aware that all drunks declare themselves unique and uncurable
Just frustrated. Tomorrow I'll be better.Thanks for always being here. Really important, even if I'm failing...
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Originally Posted by Minion09
ProfD... nope no self loathing and hatred, direct that hatred at the drink!! Right back... best place to be! You can!! This disease is sooo Cunning and baffling! Again, I say there is a power greater than ourselves that one is God as we understand him. Left to our own way, we fail each time because we aren’t made to do this alone! We can’t,but with complete surrender to something far greater, we can. I truly believe that.
Tonight I too felt for a few minutes that I could but I paused-replayed in my head where “I” get’s me every time and that’s to a place of self loathing and despair. I don’t want that anymore and therefore have to hand it over to that higher power who can, and does every time I let go of it!
So, dust off, it’s not failure but rather learning. All those days added up... you learned stuff in those sober days and that’s not lost and means something! This minute and forward is ahead put back into action what you gained and don’t sit with what you think you’ve lost. Stronger you are, just look... you recognized, stopped, owned it and now you push past to tomorrow. Much love!
Tonight I too felt for a few minutes that I could but I paused-replayed in my head where “I” get’s me every time and that’s to a place of self loathing and despair. I don’t want that anymore and therefore have to hand it over to that higher power who can, and does every time I let go of it!
So, dust off, it’s not failure but rather learning. All those days added up... you learned stuff in those sober days and that’s not lost and means something! This minute and forward is ahead put back into action what you gained and don’t sit with what you think you’ve lost. Stronger you are, just look... you recognized, stopped, owned it and now you push past to tomorrow. Much love!
Good for you for playing the tape forward tonight 
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ProfD. Hey it’s all good!! I hope I didn’t offend with the God thing... that’s my journey and I respect where you land on it, but yeah a HP is definitely worth thinking about... just something greater than yourself... there’s something to it... removing self and trusting something unknown to carry us through.
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Not every technique works for everyone Prof. I went to ridiculous lengths to have other strategies to turn to besides drinking tho, cos I knew I'd need them.
Its hard to change when you can be persuaded (by yourself) to have one more try to make drinking work.
Fear kept me drinking for a long time. Do you fear discomfort, or fear feelings, or fear who sober you might be, or that this might be as good as sobriety gets?
I feared all those things and more. But I knew drinking would kill me, from the inside out.
Not drinking was the only thing I had left to try.
The important thing is...you're back
Its hard to change when you can be persuaded (by yourself) to have one more try to make drinking work.
Fear kept me drinking for a long time. Do you fear discomfort, or fear feelings, or fear who sober you might be, or that this might be as good as sobriety gets?
I feared all those things and more. But I knew drinking would kill me, from the inside out.
Not drinking was the only thing I had left to try.
The important thing is...you're back
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ProfD you aren't failing....you're healing We all are....and we're all learning. Kudos for coming right back! 
Here's a quote that I try to keep in mind: "We all fall down in life....the question is who gets back up"
We all are....and we're all learning. Kudos for coming right back! Here's a quote that I try to keep in mind: "We all fall down in life....the question is who gets back up"
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Goodmorning junipers! Wednesday morning here. Day 17.
I have been feeling more irritable this week. I’m unsure why- kids have busy schedules this week with swim and dance, hubby has been working a lot of overtime, there is constantly neighbor kids in my yard, my puppy is annoying me and I haven’t been eating great. Gonna try to be more positive though.
I already ran and shower. Calmself- I tried your technique - my mileage didn’t increase a lot (2.4 miles) but I def pushed myself harder, knowing I was earning a little break.
Prof- You got this!
Gotta get ready for the day- swim lessons for my oldest, store and dance lesson for my youngest. Hubby is gone till tomorrow night. Semi triggering... but nah. Not gonna do it AV.
Enjoy your day junipers! We got this😉
I have been feeling more irritable this week. I’m unsure why- kids have busy schedules this week with swim and dance, hubby has been working a lot of overtime, there is constantly neighbor kids in my yard, my puppy is annoying me and I haven’t been eating great. Gonna try to be more positive though.
I already ran and shower. Calmself- I tried your technique - my mileage didn’t increase a lot (2.4 miles) but I def pushed myself harder, knowing I was earning a little break.
Prof- You got this!
Gotta get ready for the day- swim lessons for my oldest, store and dance lesson for my youngest. Hubby is gone till tomorrow night. Semi triggering... but nah. Not gonna do it AV.
Enjoy your day junipers! We got this😉
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