2muchpain

Does anybody here deal with obsessive compulsive behaviors? If I don't drink at all, I'm fine, but if I have one drink, I have to have another. It's a numbers thing. Everything has to end in even numbers. If I have three drinks, I gotta have a fourth. I do this with everything. If I lock my door, I have to check it twice. If I set my alarm, I have to at least check it twice. Everything has to be in even numbers. I have broken faucets and locks on doors checking and re checking them. I broke the door to my car because of this. I have to turn lights on and off an even number. I know it's an anxiety thing. I take medication that is suppose to help with this. I know if I don't drink this is no big problem, just an annoyance, but it is still tough to deal with. John

Dee74

I've not got OCD but I know some do.
Another good reason not to drink I guess John?

D

ScottFromWI

I've dealt with some OCD along with anxiety John, the two often go hand in hand. Have you ever spoken to a counselor about it? Regarding drinking, if you keep your goal set to zero drinks you'll never need to worry about it anyway, right?

2muchpain

Actually, my question was about how people deal with OCD, not specifically just the drinking issue, but I get your point. Yes, I have brought this issue up with several counselors but they don't see it as a big issue. John

2muchpain

I know this will sound nuts, cause it is, but the number 0 makes no sense to me. Got to have a number. It's like not going to the gym means 0 and that of course makes no sense. So I have to go at least once, which means having to go twice to even it out. Then three than four etc. It's a big deal for me to have an even number of workouts by the end of the month. Even the numbers on the machines (miles covered, calories burned) need to end in even numbers. This is just an example. Wierd, I know, but that's the way it is. LOL.

silentrun

I don't think that weird John. That's what OCD is. I've heard about the even number thing before.

Hope1989

There are several ways to deal with OCD. Commonly, this is done with dual therapy between medication and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). It takes time and patience.

2muchpain

I have gone through a CBT program and it helped a lot. I'm also on medication for depression and anxiety and it's also suppose to help with OCD so I'm probably better off than it could be. I had a psychiatrist a while back. I insisted on talking about this issue instead of the usual how ya doing stuff. He went on to describe some of his patients with this problem and went into detail how much worse their situation was and how disabling it can be. It was a real wake up call just how bad some people have it, but didn't do much with my situation. I figure, everybody has quirks. It's just in my situation, the OCD with drinking is the main problem. I can replace a broken faucet cause I kept turning it off and on so many times. I had to replace the handle on my car door cause it broke due to my having to pull on it so many times to make sure it was locked. You wouldn't believe how long it takes me just to park my car, check everything several times just to get out. Before I leave for work, I have to check everything like lights off, coffee maker unplugged, etc. an even number of times before I leave. These are mostly just annoyances and sometimes expensive, but I can live with that. Unfortunately, drinking gets rid of all this. It gives me some relief from all of this. Counting everything can be pretty draining and time consuming. That's OCD for ya. John

2muchpain

Other than the OCD, I'm a pretty normal guy. Better off than many people. All in all, feel pretty lucky to be me. Don't have the more serious problems other people have. John

Anna

John, I hear you, and it does sound like it can be draining and time consuming. I know of someone who is worse off, ie: can never get to work on time, but I think any level of OCD is tiring. You're right that the CBT and medication are probably helping you. Do you find that, if you try to resist, things get worse or better?

2muchpain

It really depends on the compulsion. There are times when I can work on getting over a compulsion and it goes away. When I shower and needed to hit the nob to check the drain four times to make sure the water is draining although it's obvious its draining . I have been able to get past that. Things that are most important like making sure the coffee maker is unplugged several times or my ashtray is in the sink to avoid a fire is tough. Some compulsions come and go, but the one's that stay have something to do with safety.
Other's are just stupid little things that I could probably ignore such as opening and closing my window shades twice.
Now, if I don't check my car when I leave to make sure the lights are off, the music is turned off, or the doors are locked, then I have to go back and check these things. Otherwise, it will drive me crazy. As far as getting to work on time, I have to get up early to allow time to go through my rituals before leaving for work. It usually takes me 10 minutes to check, re check and check again and again everything before I leave for work. I could probably go to to work without going through all this and forget all this stuff, but the anxiety at the time is so strong, I don't feel I have a choice. What's really wierd is that if I feel down and depressed, I don't care about all this stuff. Being depressed actually helps with the OCD. Go figure. John

2muchpain

PS. If I actually worked hard on my compulsions, I could probably eliminate most of it. The wierd thing is that sometimes I'll do something and know that that's gonna be another compulsion. When that happens, I can usually catch it and make sure it doesn't become another problem. OCD is just a strange problem. Personally, I think it comes from my abusive childhood when things were always in flux. Never knew when I was gonna be beaten and when that happened, rarely knew why. I think it's a control thing. Knowing what to expect. Not big on surprises now, if that makes sense. John

silentrun

I'm not a particularly compulsive person now that I don't drink. I noticed toward the end I was very ritualistic and had some magical thinking going on especially around numbers. I wouldn't call it OCD but it was on the spectrum probably. It slowly went away as I healed.

I'm sure you already know alcohol isn't good for these things but I think it actually caused mine. I used to feel like some dark force was chasing me and I tried to stay ahead of it but always had this feeling of impending doom and the axe could fall at any moment. I don't feel like that anymore. I can relate to how you felt as a child and I think that made me hyper aware which is almost like a constant state of fight or flight. Maybe the drinking and the rituals were a way of trying to neutralize that arousal state. It's taken awhile but now that I have my self respect back I feel safe.

I'm always impressed by your nature John. You really do have a good attitude realizing that your situation is workable and not using it as a reason to stay put.

ulfr

i have OCD religious obsessions , blasphemous thoughts pure O etc
sometimes my thoughts get stuck on the one thing am thinking about or on one subject i also rock and back and forth when am upset or anxious

2muchpain

Silentrun, Thanks for your input. Many years ago, I used to blame my past, especially the problems I had to deal with as a child as a reason for my problems. Eventually that gets old and I realized that that gets old and keeps me stuck in the same poor me cycle. I used that for a long time as an excuse to behave the way I did. I try to take responsibility for my actions today. My past has nothing to do with what goes on with me today. Any OCD issues I have today that might stem from problems I had to endure as a kid has nothing to do with the choices I make today. Everybody has baggage from their past. I think everybody has the choice of dragging that baggage around with them or throwing it in the dumpster where it belongs and move on. I think every day we wake up as a new person. John