Windytown
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 421
What really stops me from using again is I try to think really, really hard about how I feel right after smoking.. I don't even feel that great DURING.. so why do I want to do it so bad?
Best of luck to you, friend.
Best of luck to you, friend.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 466
Hey Windy,
I know I haven't been around for a little while, but glad to hear that you're still fighting.
Insidious is definitely the correct word to describe the tricks our brains play on us when we try to get clean. I actually think the whole concept of fantasizing and glorifying drug usage when not using is amazing, but not in a good way. Remember that the money spent, the cravings, the everything is all part of the smoking package. The whole experience goes way beyond that first hit, and again, not in a good way.
I know I haven't been around for a little while, but glad to hear that you're still fighting.
Insidious is definitely the correct word to describe the tricks our brains play on us when we try to get clean. I actually think the whole concept of fantasizing and glorifying drug usage when not using is amazing, but not in a good way. Remember that the money spent, the cravings, the everything is all part of the smoking package. The whole experience goes way beyond that first hit, and again, not in a good way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
But you are still coming here, which to me, shows a desire to quit.
When I was deep into it with no intention of quitting, I avoided this forum like the plague.
Where there is a will, there is a way. You just gotta keep trying and don't give up.
When I was deep into it with no intention of quitting, I avoided this forum like the plague.
Where there is a will, there is a way. You just gotta keep trying and don't give up.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 402
Here are some things I am struggling with and thinking about as I try to find my way out of my addiction.
Right now I am blessed to be reading Russell Brand's new book about addiction called "Recovery". I am just on the third chapter and it is giving me a lot of encouragement. I am still using and hoping tomorrow is my now sober beginning.
But I am at a part in the book where he talks about people white knuckling it, trying to use their will to get sober. And it failing.
And he says he found the 12 step to be the best way and his book outlines the steps n depth.
So I am happy to try the 12 steps and it resonates with me.
But I don't know HOW to do it.
He talks about giving it over to a higher power and I am open to that.
He talks about asking for help and I am open to that but I don't know how or where to get help for this.
I think a Marijuana anonymous group would be perfect for me. I would gladly go. But the closest ones are two hours drive from me.
There are AA and NA meetings near by but I do not feel they would be helpful. While yes it is all addiction, it is a significantly different experience. And I have been to NA meetings before and I felt very uncomfortable there.
So I am no sure what to do. I can get rid of it all and try my best. I can pray. But it is still white knuckling it.
I am willing and ready to change my life but I don't know HOW to do it or HOW to sustain it.
Right now I am blessed to be reading Russell Brand's new book about addiction called "Recovery". I am just on the third chapter and it is giving me a lot of encouragement. I am still using and hoping tomorrow is my now sober beginning.
But I am at a part in the book where he talks about people white knuckling it, trying to use their will to get sober. And it failing.
And he says he found the 12 step to be the best way and his book outlines the steps n depth.
So I am happy to try the 12 steps and it resonates with me.
But I don't know HOW to do it.
He talks about giving it over to a higher power and I am open to that.
He talks about asking for help and I am open to that but I don't know how or where to get help for this.
I think a Marijuana anonymous group would be perfect for me. I would gladly go. But the closest ones are two hours drive from me.
There are AA and NA meetings near by but I do not feel they would be helpful. While yes it is all addiction, it is a significantly different experience. And I have been to NA meetings before and I felt very uncomfortable there.
So I am no sure what to do. I can get rid of it all and try my best. I can pray. But it is still white knuckling it.
I am willing and ready to change my life but I don't know HOW to do it or HOW to sustain it.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 402
I have done online meetings and did not feel connection or support or anything from it.
My question is - in order to do the 12 steps do I need to go to meetings? or can I just do it?
I am eager to try the 12 steps and don't want to not do it just bcause the meetings are too far. yes I will try to get to one here and there but I cant go regularly.
so do I just do the steps, ask for help from a higher power? how do I begin to transform it from just sheer will to actually doing the steps, if I am not able to get to a meeting?
I am ready---------
My question is - in order to do the 12 steps do I need to go to meetings? or can I just do it?
I am eager to try the 12 steps and don't want to not do it just bcause the meetings are too far. yes I will try to get to one here and there but I cant go regularly.
so do I just do the steps, ask for help from a higher power? how do I begin to transform it from just sheer will to actually doing the steps, if I am not able to get to a meeting?
I am ready---------
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 421
What helps with a support recovery group is letting the community help you when you falter, rather than trying to succumb to using your own willpower.
I feel like you COULD try to do the 12 steps "on your own" but what happens if you struggle? There is no one to hold you accountable.
There are such things as online AA meetings. I came across the concept when I read through that blog yesterday. At first I thought it was just like Internet forums but then I realized that it would be a group specifically for the purpose of AA - as in, there's a way to seek one that can respond to you immediately in case of emergency, etc.
Just a thought because the nearest AA is 2 hours away, an online support group may be just the thing. (Of course you can always keep checking up with us folks at SR...)
Do not lose hope because you relapsed.. The fact that you're still here, telling us about your progress, means that the will is there.
I feel like you COULD try to do the 12 steps "on your own" but what happens if you struggle? There is no one to hold you accountable.
There are such things as online AA meetings. I came across the concept when I read through that blog yesterday. At first I thought it was just like Internet forums but then I realized that it would be a group specifically for the purpose of AA - as in, there's a way to seek one that can respond to you immediately in case of emergency, etc.
Just a thought because the nearest AA is 2 hours away, an online support group may be just the thing. (Of course you can always keep checking up with us folks at SR...)
Do not lose hope because you relapsed.. The fact that you're still here, telling us about your progress, means that the will is there.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 421
Oh sorry for double post. I just realized you said you did not get help from online AA meetings. Maybe you can shop around until you find a group that resonates with you. Otherwise, maybe the 2 hour drive may be worth it. I think your quality of life will truly benefit once you kick the addiction to the curb. Another thing is even if you make the 2 hour drive just once a week, you can always call up your support group during the week, then that way it's like you can get support without having to drive 2 hours every time.
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