Scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 8
Scared
Hello,
I'm posting here out of despersation and hope something good comes out of it. I can't believe I've gotten to this point, but my drinking is insanely out of control during the weekends. I can't get over the guilt and shame over the things I do while drinking yet I repeat the cycle and feel powerless. It's an awful feeling and I need to quit.
I'm still learning to navigate this forum but I am hoping this will be a good tool for me. I need to be held accountable for staying sober and I realize I can't do it alone.
It feels good to get that all out even if it's anonymously online.
I'm hoping to become sober in my future here.
I'm posting here out of despersation and hope something good comes out of it. I can't believe I've gotten to this point, but my drinking is insanely out of control during the weekends. I can't get over the guilt and shame over the things I do while drinking yet I repeat the cycle and feel powerless. It's an awful feeling and I need to quit.
I'm still learning to navigate this forum but I am hoping this will be a good tool for me. I need to be held accountable for staying sober and I realize I can't do it alone.
It feels good to get that all out even if it's anonymously online.
I'm hoping to become sober in my future here.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Welcome Nos4r2
I hope you can find a solution here. There is certainly diverse experience to be found.
If when you drink you have little control over the amount you take and if when you honestly want to, you find you cannot stop entirely, you are probably alcoholic.
How does that compare to your experience?
I hope you can find a solution here. There is certainly diverse experience to be found.
If when you drink you have little control over the amount you take and if when you honestly want to, you find you cannot stop entirely, you are probably alcoholic.
How does that compare to your experience?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Welcome. Glad you found us.
You arrive in the same state that so many do. Full of fear and shame, and seemingly trapped in a cycle where drinking is now not just a solution, but where it seems that it is The Solution and The Prolem as well. Thing is, our lives do get better when alcohol is removed from the equation and we work on our recovery. Being sober and working on recovery are two seperate things by the way. Being Just Sober is painful, insanity making, and generally unsustainable for most people. It is the recovery work that makes sobriety comfortable, happy, and eventually preferable to drinking. But that all probably seems quite fantastical right now.
For now I'd suggest reading round the site, and staying sober hour by hour. Don't try to look to how you'll stay sober next weekend, or for your birthday, or Christmas or next year. Just focus on Now. (If we have one foot in the past and the other in the future, guess what're likely to do all over today!)
Why not do a google search and check out the AA meetings in your area. That's been another amazing source of support and advice for me personally.
You can remember common drinking triggers by HALT which stands for Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. I'd suggest planning your day in such a way to avoid these.
No doubt you will have a heavy conscience regarding some things you have done and said. That is kind of par for the course. Please try not to think about those things for now. That is not the same as dismissing them or forgetting them. Just that these things are best dealt with later on, with the benefit of some sober time and a clearer perspective. It will be easier to deal with those things properly later on. Maybe weeks away. Maybe months or years. Once we are sober and healthy we can do all kinds of things we never imagined was possible. Even clearing away the wreckage of our past; being someone we like, trust and respect; and getting over past hurts and harms done to us.
Welcome.
I wish you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
You arrive in the same state that so many do. Full of fear and shame, and seemingly trapped in a cycle where drinking is now not just a solution, but where it seems that it is The Solution and The Prolem as well. Thing is, our lives do get better when alcohol is removed from the equation and we work on our recovery. Being sober and working on recovery are two seperate things by the way. Being Just Sober is painful, insanity making, and generally unsustainable for most people. It is the recovery work that makes sobriety comfortable, happy, and eventually preferable to drinking. But that all probably seems quite fantastical right now.
For now I'd suggest reading round the site, and staying sober hour by hour. Don't try to look to how you'll stay sober next weekend, or for your birthday, or Christmas or next year. Just focus on Now. (If we have one foot in the past and the other in the future, guess what're likely to do all over today!)
Why not do a google search and check out the AA meetings in your area. That's been another amazing source of support and advice for me personally.
You can remember common drinking triggers by HALT which stands for Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. I'd suggest planning your day in such a way to avoid these.
No doubt you will have a heavy conscience regarding some things you have done and said. That is kind of par for the course. Please try not to think about those things for now. That is not the same as dismissing them or forgetting them. Just that these things are best dealt with later on, with the benefit of some sober time and a clearer perspective. It will be easier to deal with those things properly later on. Maybe weeks away. Maybe months or years. Once we are sober and healthy we can do all kinds of things we never imagined was possible. Even clearing away the wreckage of our past; being someone we like, trust and respect; and getting over past hurts and harms done to us.
Welcome.
I wish you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR Nos4r2. SR is indeed a place where you will find a lot of support and a lot of information about the various ways people have gone about getting ( and staying ) sober. I hope you can stick around and learn/talk with us about how things are going.
Know too that you are definitely not alone in how you feel - almost all of us got to the point where alcohol became too overwhelming to deal with on our own. And it's absolutely OK to ask for help.
Know too that you are definitely not alone in how you feel - almost all of us got to the point where alcohol became too overwhelming to deal with on our own. And it's absolutely OK to ask for help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Welcome aboard! You will find a lot of support and information here. When I joined SR, I came to the site feeling just like you. I began coming to this site multiple times per day to read and post. By doing so, I have learned an valuable information a bout this disease and how to formulate a plan by using tools that keep me from picking up that first drink. Today I have over 5 months of sobriety and I feel better than I have for years! If I can do it, you can too!
Wishing you the best on your recovery!
Wishing you the best on your recovery!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Most of us feel tremendous shame and guilt when we put down alcohol. I had what's called "the gift of desperation" when I crawled through the doors of AA. But the support was tremendous and I couldn't have stayed sober -- since 1991 -- without it. Big hug!
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