Upset with myself. Angry.
Onward!
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Posts: 14
Now, for something completely different!
Hey SoberSolstice...congrats on Day 1...better than day none.
You did a really good job of beating yourself to a pulp...now forgive yourself and take credit for COMING HERE AND POSTING!
Even on your worst day, you're WAY SMARTER than you give yourself credit for!
You can and will do this!
You did a really good job of beating yourself to a pulp...now forgive yourself and take credit for COMING HERE AND POSTING!
Even on your worst day, you're WAY SMARTER than you give yourself credit for!
You can and will do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 390
Saturday, June 24th, 6:38am. Day 8.
Have been focusing on disc golf after work, and controlling my patience throw to throw with a couple refreshing coconut waters in place of beer. Yesterday would have been tough without a little sugar. I'm still new to the sport, but forces me to walk in a beautiful park and focus from throw to throw just like the day to day thing with drinking. The mountains are in the background, and it's just a very nice place to be. I can get some aggression out with long throws, and focus on patience, as well as keep my mind away from drinking. Oh, I bring a chocolate bar too, though I always forget to eat it, and melts lol. It's fun, cheap, and a great metaphorical allusion in an existential sense to the ups and downs of drinking; and leveling thing out in my head. What I'm trying to say, is it's focused, and requires patience; just like quitting. It takes the sting off.
The anger is subsiding, but my duty to myself to not drink is just as strong.
Been a while since I've pushed through a week.
Have been focusing on disc golf after work, and controlling my patience throw to throw with a couple refreshing coconut waters in place of beer. Yesterday would have been tough without a little sugar. I'm still new to the sport, but forces me to walk in a beautiful park and focus from throw to throw just like the day to day thing with drinking. The mountains are in the background, and it's just a very nice place to be. I can get some aggression out with long throws, and focus on patience, as well as keep my mind away from drinking. Oh, I bring a chocolate bar too, though I always forget to eat it, and melts lol. It's fun, cheap, and a great metaphorical allusion in an existential sense to the ups and downs of drinking; and leveling thing out in my head. What I'm trying to say, is it's focused, and requires patience; just like quitting. It takes the sting off.
The anger is subsiding, but my duty to myself to not drink is just as strong.
Been a while since I've pushed through a week.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 390
Day 9.
I've been doing one set of max pushups, squats, situps and pullups.
My arms are bigger after just a few days. Putting in quality meats and veggies. A lot of coconut water.
Played my best round of golf ever at even par two months into it.
I've been doing one set of max pushups, squats, situps and pullups.
My arms are bigger after just a few days. Putting in quality meats and veggies. A lot of coconut water.
Played my best round of golf ever at even par two months into it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 390
Day 10
I'm not angry anymore... I just needed that bit to get started.
Now I'm in this Forrest Gump running bit when he stops in the desert and says: "I'm kinda tired. Think I'm gonna go home now".
I feel dumbed out, and can't remember anything. Tired, and starting to drink more coffee than I should.
I'm trying to figure out a plan for this feeling. I always get stuck here.
I'm not angry anymore... I just needed that bit to get started.
Now I'm in this Forrest Gump running bit when he stops in the desert and says: "I'm kinda tired. Think I'm gonna go home now".
I feel dumbed out, and can't remember anything. Tired, and starting to drink more coffee than I should.
I'm trying to figure out a plan for this feeling. I always get stuck here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Good for you SS 
Have you tried fitting a nap into your schedule?
I found I had to, and I had to make sure I got good sleep at night.
I don't get to have many naps but when I do they help. A lot of what you are experiencing is fairly normal in early recovery. You are very much on the right path in my opinion in taking care of yourself, remember not to push too hard and listen to your body.
If you keep going it will get better in time.
Great job on day 10!
Have you tried fitting a nap into your schedule?
I found I had to, and I had to make sure I got good sleep at night.
I don't get to have many naps but when I do they help. A lot of what you are experiencing is fairly normal in early recovery. You are very much on the right path in my opinion in taking care of yourself, remember not to push too hard and listen to your body.
If you keep going it will get better in time.
Great job on day 10!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
just don't drink - no matter what. remember the four keys to HALT. if you are tired, REST. Hungry? eat. Lonely? Phone a trusted friend, or log on here. Angry, stay away from the breakables. make sure the other three are covered.
it's not a sprint. it's a journey.
it's not a sprint. it's a journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 390
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
just don't drink - no matter what. remember the four keys to HALT. if you are tired, REST. Hungry? eat. Lonely? Phone a trusted friend, or log on here. Angry, stay away from the breakables. make sure the other three are covered.
it's not a sprint. it's a journey.
it's not a sprint. it's a journey.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
When I first got sober last year, I had a lot of anger issues that had long gone undealt with and being that I was so raw in recovery. I had to find some really good ways of coping because it was coming out in RAGE.
I did have someone safe that I dumped all my crap on.
I would do mad pushups until I couldn't do them anymore.
I would breathe, count, do jumping jacks, scream STOP in my head, scream into air or in my vehicle as loud as I possibly could.
I learned to deal with things eventually once I calmed down and had a chance to talk things out with someone, or write them out.
I learned to say sorry when I needed to, and also a brief explanation about my feelings when appropriate (we are after all, still human)
Don't drink, rest up, think about apologizing to your partner and try not to dwell on it. Beating yourself up (again) is not gonna make you feel any better.
I did have someone safe that I dumped all my crap on.
I would do mad pushups until I couldn't do them anymore.
I would breathe, count, do jumping jacks, scream STOP in my head, scream into air or in my vehicle as loud as I possibly could.
I learned to deal with things eventually once I calmed down and had a chance to talk things out with someone, or write them out.
I learned to say sorry when I needed to, and also a brief explanation about my feelings when appropriate (we are after all, still human)
Don't drink, rest up, think about apologizing to your partner and try not to dwell on it. Beating yourself up (again) is not gonna make you feel any better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 390
I had a nice, smooth day yesterday (though it was 95deg!). Drinking a lot of water and eating good food was super helpful.
Got up at 4:30am and played 36 holes of disc golf doing 10 pushups on every tee box; my arms are twitching!
Feeling a lot better, and ready for my day of work.
Day 12.
Got up at 4:30am and played 36 holes of disc golf doing 10 pushups on every tee box; my arms are twitching!
Feeling a lot better, and ready for my day of work.
Day 12.
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