So filed criminal complaint why do I feel so terrible?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 16
So filed criminal complaint why do I feel so terrible?
I filed my criminal complaint last night against husband for breaking no contact protection order and warrant was issued for arrest. I feel terrible. I thought once it was done I could rest but am filled with angst, anxiety and felt like I was cemented to the bed this morning after another sleepless night. My mind knows this was the right choice but my body and heart feel just miserably awful. Am seeing doctor for depression anxiety but how do I make this feeling go away?
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 10
What a difficult situation for you. I'm sorry you had to make such a tough decision.
I guess what I would say is, you didn't create the situation you just followed through on keeping a clear line on your boundaries. It's hard to do boundary work but hopefully this will be enough to stop contact moving forward.
I am glad to hear you are seeing someone for depression and anxiety, that is some wonderful self care. In the mean time perhaps you could just lay in bed and breathe for a while and remind yourself you have gotten through 100% of all your days and you're doing great
You will get past this one too.
Hugs to you.
I guess what I would say is, you didn't create the situation you just followed through on keeping a clear line on your boundaries. It's hard to do boundary work but hopefully this will be enough to stop contact moving forward.
I am glad to hear you are seeing someone for depression and anxiety, that is some wonderful self care. In the mean time perhaps you could just lay in bed and breathe for a while and remind yourself you have gotten through 100% of all your days and you're doing great
You will get past this one too.Hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 328
Palehorse,
I'm sorry you are feeling such anxiety. I think it is normal to feel that way when we start to enforce boundaries and change our behaviors. It is so new and uncomfortable. It will get easier each time you do. It's great that you reached out here!
Do you attend Al-Anon? If so, can you call someone from the program? That is what I did when I was feeling that way. It helped me tremendously to just hear that I did do the right thing and that what I was feeling was normal.
Hugs,
Jaeger
I'm sorry you are feeling such anxiety. I think it is normal to feel that way when we start to enforce boundaries and change our behaviors. It is so new and uncomfortable. It will get easier each time you do. It's great that you reached out here!
Do you attend Al-Anon? If so, can you call someone from the program? That is what I did when I was feeling that way. It helped me tremendously to just hear that I did do the right thing and that what I was feeling was normal.
Hugs,
Jaeger
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 4
We feel bad as we understand the consequences but you are helping him, you're teaching him that actions have consequences and addicts spend a lot of their time not understanding or caring about that. Of course he will be mad and perhaps hurt but long term he needs to realise that this is what happens in reality. Also you need to protect yourself and I expect you like many of us have spent a long time letting them get away with things so they now think we will continue to do so. Once they realise we are strong and stand firm life will improve.
Despite knowing any of that I just wanted to say I'm sorry you've had a sleepless night. I've just got up after two hours broken sleep, cramped in a bed with my kids just because the idea of sleeping with him disgusted me. You feel upset as you're a good person and I'm sorry he's made you feel this anxiety so big hugs. Try and do something for you today, a bubble bath, retail therapy, do your makeup, eat ice cream, whatever it is that makes you feel good and remember you did the right thing. You're not responsible for his actions you're protecting yourself and you should always be proud of that. You didn't make him break that order that's all on him.
Despite knowing any of that I just wanted to say I'm sorry you've had a sleepless night. I've just got up after two hours broken sleep, cramped in a bed with my kids just because the idea of sleeping with him disgusted me. You feel upset as you're a good person and I'm sorry he's made you feel this anxiety so big hugs. Try and do something for you today, a bubble bath, retail therapy, do your makeup, eat ice cream, whatever it is that makes you feel good and remember you did the right thing. You're not responsible for his actions you're protecting yourself and you should always be proud of that. You didn't make him break that order that's all on him.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Palehorse
I am so sorry for your sleepless night and that you feel so awful right now!!
I can assure you, you did the right thing! Absolutely!
He is a grown man, an adult. Although I haven't read your whole story, there was a reason you went to the police. There is a reason you filed a no contact order against him. His actions led you to do that. His actions.
You are merely responding to his actions.
You are doing what you need to do to stay safe and regain some peace in your life.
If you had not reported his actions in violation of the order, he would have just continued to harass you. It may have become much, much worse for you.
I hope that you will be able to take a bit of a nap today. I hope you will come to truly believe that you have done nothing wrong and everything right in order to protect yourself.
Please take good care!
I am so sorry for your sleepless night and that you feel so awful right now!!
I can assure you, you did the right thing! Absolutely!
He is a grown man, an adult. Although I haven't read your whole story, there was a reason you went to the police. There is a reason you filed a no contact order against him. His actions led you to do that. His actions.
You are merely responding to his actions.
You are doing what you need to do to stay safe and regain some peace in your life.
If you had not reported his actions in violation of the order, he would have just continued to harass you. It may have become much, much worse for you.
I hope that you will be able to take a bit of a nap today. I hope you will come to truly believe that you have done nothing wrong and everything right in order to protect yourself.
Please take good care!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
You did the right thing. I wish I had done the same when I was in your shoes. Instead I did the opposite- dropped the restraining order.
They violate these orders because they're so used to violating the boundaries we set and getting away with it. You just showed him this is no longer the case.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you just took a very important and necessary step.
They violate these orders because they're so used to violating the boundaries we set and getting away with it. You just showed him this is no longer the case.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you just took a very important and necessary step.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
