Oblivious. I wonder...
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 66
Oblivious. I wonder...
I realize now that I have had my head in the sand for a long time. I think that it's possible even my best friend stopped wanting to hang out with me bc I would always get drunk, and she had to deal with me and take care of me more times than I can count. She and I talked about it before, but I always kind of gave excuses and downplayed the problem until she let it go.
Same with my hubby.
Same with my therapist.
Same with my sister.
Hmm... I am starting to see a pattern.
I wonder just how many people in my life have wanted to talk to me about my drinking and haven't? I know it's such a hard thing to talk to someone about. They probably worried I would be defensive. And, I probably would have been. No one has talked to me about it in the last couple years because I was sober to have my son, and even tho I picked up after that, I slowed down a lot. But, last year I was back to hiding booze and drinking before events so I could have more in me than everyone else.
I just wonder...Maybe someday they will tell me what they really think. :-/ Thanks for listening SR friends!
Same with my hubby.
Same with my therapist.
Same with my sister.
Hmm... I am starting to see a pattern.
I wonder just how many people in my life have wanted to talk to me about my drinking and haven't? I know it's such a hard thing to talk to someone about. They probably worried I would be defensive. And, I probably would have been. No one has talked to me about it in the last couple years because I was sober to have my son, and even tho I picked up after that, I slowed down a lot. But, last year I was back to hiding booze and drinking before events so I could have more in me than everyone else.
I just wonder...Maybe someday they will tell me what they really think. :-/ Thanks for listening SR friends!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
A lot of people find it incredibly difficult to approach this issue, especially if they drink themselves. Even my best friends were in tears and shaking when they brought it up with me. I felt so guilty.
I did the same thing - I would hide bottles and take a few shots before going out, and everyone would be like what, how is she so wasted already?!! They obviously knew, because if I didn't get a chance to drink beforehand, I had a super high tolerance. Maybe you could talk to the? Why wait?
I did the same thing - I would hide bottles and take a few shots before going out, and everyone would be like what, how is she so wasted already?!! They obviously knew, because if I didn't get a chance to drink beforehand, I had a super high tolerance. Maybe you could talk to the? Why wait?
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 66
Originally Posted by VigilanceNow 
A lot of people find it incredibly difficult to approach this issue, especially if they drink themselves. Even my best friends were in tears and shaking when they brought it up with me. I felt so guilty.
I did the same thing - I would hide bottles and take a few shots before going out, and everyone would be like what, how is she so wasted already?!! They obviously knew, because if I didn't get a chance to drink beforehand, I had a super high tolerance. Maybe you could talk to the? Why wait?
I did the same thing - I would hide bottles and take a few shots before going out, and everyone would be like what, how is she so wasted already?!! They obviously knew, because if I didn't get a chance to drink beforehand, I had a super high tolerance. Maybe you could talk to the? Why wait?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
KM,
Your life doesn't have to be this way. This disease sucks, but we can overcome the obstacles it creates. All we have to do is not drink, figure out why we do and create a plan to keep ourselves safe and sober.
Hang in there and keep posting.
Your life doesn't have to be this way. This disease sucks, but we can overcome the obstacles it creates. All we have to do is not drink, figure out why we do and create a plan to keep ourselves safe and sober.
Hang in there and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
I have friends who have said that to me - they were usually the friends who hadn't actually seen me at my worst, or who didn't want to just because they'd gotten wasted with me too. If they knew you were hiding bottles, I suspect they would feel very differently. That's a huge red flag.
A lot of people don't understand alcoholism and think it's a matter of self-control and will power... Well it's not! When I get one sip, it's a switch that flips in my brain and I won't stop until I get more. A person who doesn't have this toxic relationship with alcohol is unlikely to be able to imagine that... Or maybe did it once or twice and regretted it. For me, it is and always will be EVERY time.
If they don't want to accept it, who cares... Someone who doesn't like you when you're not drinking doesn't need to be in your life
A lot of people don't understand alcoholism and think it's a matter of self-control and will power... Well it's not! When I get one sip, it's a switch that flips in my brain and I won't stop until I get more. A person who doesn't have this toxic relationship with alcohol is unlikely to be able to imagine that... Or maybe did it once or twice and regretted it. For me, it is and always will be EVERY time.
If they don't want to accept it, who cares... Someone who doesn't like you when you're not drinking doesn't need to be in your life
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
I was always very defensive and angry and ultimately ashamed when someone questioned my drinking. We hear over and over it has to be "your idea" to quit. That is why. You cannot reason with an active problem drinker IMHO.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
When I admitted I was an alcoholic, it became unanimous. Admitting and acceptance were rungs on climbing the ladder out of the hole, but not enough. I had to do something about it. Frankly, I had accepted I was an alcoholic but really didn't care to change.
Others did indeed tell me what they thought - multiple times. This still didn't make me stop.
Do you really need others to speak to you about what it sounds like you already know in your heart??
Others did indeed tell me what they thought - multiple times. This still didn't make me stop.
Do you really need others to speak to you about what it sounds like you already know in your heart??
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by KM0816
I realize now that I have had my head in the sand for a long time. I think that it's possible even my best friend stopped wanting to hang out with me bc I would always get drunk, . Hmm... I am starting to see a pattern.
and she had to deal with me and take care of me more times than I can count
I wonder just how many people in my life have wanted to talk to me about my drinking and haven't? I know it's such a hard thing to talk to someone about. They probably worried I would be defensive. And, I probably would have been. No one has talked to me about it in the last couple years because I was sober to have my son, and even tho I picked up after that, I slowed down a lot. But, last year I was back to hiding booze and drinking before events so I could have more in me than everyone else. She and I talked about it before, but I always kind of gave excuses and downplayed the problem until she let it go.
Same with my hubby.
Same with my therapist.
Same with my sister.
I just wonder...Maybe someday they will tell me what they really think. :-/ Thanks for listening SR friends!
and she had to deal with me and take care of me more times than I can count
I wonder just how many people in my life have wanted to talk to me about my drinking and haven't? I know it's such a hard thing to talk to someone about. They probably worried I would be defensive. And, I probably would have been. No one has talked to me about it in the last couple years because I was sober to have my son, and even tho I picked up after that, I slowed down a lot. But, last year I was back to hiding booze and drinking before events so I could have more in me than everyone else. She and I talked about it before, but I always kind of gave excuses and downplayed the problem until she let it go.
Same with my hubby.
Same with my therapist.
Same with my sister.
I just wonder...Maybe someday they will tell me what they really think. :-/ Thanks for listening SR friends!
"my best friend stopped wanting to hang out with me bc I would always get drunk and she had to deal with me and take care of me more times than I can count
She and I talked about it before, but I always kind of gave excuses and downplayed the problemuntil she let it go.
Same with my hubby.
Same with my therapist.
Same with my sister. "
I doubt they were worried about your reaction.
there comes a point in the friends and family of alcoholics life that they accept they are wasting their breath and it aint worth talkin to someone that doesn't want to get sober. no point in talking to someone that just wants a nurse for sprees, a counselor for the drama and chaos, a banker for the financial difficulties......
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
The lying was what really got to my friends and family. Somehow in my alcoholic head, hiding my use didn't count as lying. Hiding bottles when you're sharing a living space with someone is a form of lying. Believe me I did my fair share of that!!
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