Need support, part 2

Old 05-28-2017, 04:02 PM
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Wow, am I glad to hear from you. I was worried.

Well, I'd argue you've lost more like 170 pounds of nothing but trouble, but hey, good for you! Great job on the twenty pounds...and your blood sugar and blood pressure getting better is no surprise. Stress causes them both to rise.

Of course he's still trying. You were his bank, his lawyer, his cab service, his meal ticket, his hideout, and his ego feed. Nobody gives all those freebies up easily.

As for the anniversary...even if he was back in your life, he would have disappeared for that anyway. Add in Memorial Day? Pffffffft.

As hard as this is, you sound really good. Much better than on previous vaporizations.

Lots of animal shelters are holding adoption fairs tomorrow. Jus sayin'.

Sending you a huge relieved congratulatory hug!
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:33 PM
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He of course had stopped paying his health insurance before he went to the psych ER, before his ambulance ride, and before getting hospitalized for putting his arm and body thru a thick glass window. He is in a homeless shelter and has been unable to work due to his injuries.

I am trying to stay strong.

Thank you all for your continued support.

I am going to have a good cry but continue to do stuff for work. Though I do feel lonely.

And yes, it is true that at least I know he isn't coming here instead of wondering every night if I would hear from him or if he was coming home. And I know he isn't out spending my money at a bar or getting tickets on my car.

I am home crying instead of driving around in the middle of the night. And I am getting some things done. So it could be worse.
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:43 PM
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Lonely

Originally Posted by OT4Kids View Post
He of course had stopped paying his health insurance before he went to the psych ER, before his ambulance ride, and before getting hospitalized for putting his arm and body thru a thick glass window. He is in a homeless shelter and has been unable to work due to his injuries.

I am trying to stay strong.

Thank you all for your continued support.

I am going to have a good cry but continue to do stuff for work. Though I do feel lonely.

And yes, it is true that at least I know he isn't coming here instead of wondering every night if I would hear from him or if he was coming home. And I know he isn't out spending my money at a bar or getting tickets on my car.

I am home crying instead of driving around in the middle of the night. And I am getting some things done. So it could be worse.
Hello OT. Lonely is ok. Lonely won't kill you. This bond with this person just might.

Besides, I haven't finished all 450 posts yet... but I'd bet money you were extremely lonely when he was there too.

Be healthy. Stay busy. Don't disappear from here. Stay strong. Sleep. Eat. Shower. Focus on you job and kids. And love yourself.... just 1/2 as much as you love him.

He sounds like he need medical attention for mental problems. So sorry. Love YOU. Stay focused on you. Stay distant. Seek clear thoughts. xoxo. Hugs.
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:43 PM
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And it will get BETTER, as long as you continue on your recovery path. It's not a linear path by any means, there will be ups and downs, but stay the course.
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:59 PM
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I am going to have a good cry but continue to do stuff for work. Though I do feel lonely.
Just throwing this out there. Do you think that your home, when it's quiet, triggers that feeling?

I remember visiting a friend once who happened to be performing in a neighborhood where a cheating ex-boyfriend and I hung out.. When I visited this friend, I was now (and still am) married to somebody else. I now had a kid, and yet when I walked down the street I was struck by such a feeling of despair and loneliness it almost choked me. My mind made such a strong association with that neighborhood and the loneliness I once had that it stirred those feelings up even though there was no reason for that loneliness to be there in the first place.

I'm not saying that your feelings aren't justified. You're still very much in mourning for what could have been with him and you have every right to nurture your heartbreak. What I am saying is to give credit where credit is due: if the loneliness is partly caused by a triggering environment don't give all the credit to your ex.
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Old 05-28-2017, 05:16 PM
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Hey OT, you are doing good. You really are. Everything that he lost or gave up, is what he lost and gave up, not you. So he stopped his health coverage, well, that's not on you, and you are not married, so you won't get stuck with any of this. He's in a shelter, well, at least he found a place to sleep. (eyeroll here). He ran away from home so many times, of course he knew where he could find a place to sleep.

My ex, used to tell me that he was sleeping in his office under his desk. (lol). He was sleeping with his gf.

You have a day off work tomorrow. Please spend this doing things that make you happy. Did you need or want to pick up some flowers to put in front of your new house?

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
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Old 05-28-2017, 05:19 PM
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I do think being in this house alone at night triggers me. But I don't feel comfortable staying anywhere else either and don't have friends who will stay here with me.
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Old 05-28-2017, 05:56 PM
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OT, Remind me about some things. I'm too sick tonight to look at the past. Didn't you just buy this house recently?

If you did, hasn't he been on the "runaway" more then he has actually been there this year?

I have many triggers also, but the way to get through them, is to get through them.

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
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Old 05-28-2017, 06:25 PM
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Yes, I have only been in the house since end of December and since he moved in January/beginning of February he has been gone more than here.
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Old 05-28-2017, 06:38 PM
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OK, OT, so why don't we talk about the house a little. This is Memorial Day Weekend. All the flower places are open. Did you plan to do some planting, or some planter boxes this summer?
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Old 05-28-2017, 06:41 PM
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I think you're doing great--next step is blocking those communications. You don't need the stress. You're gonna be fine--really. Remember how important it is to just ride through the hard parts--it will get easier if you don't give in.
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Old 05-28-2017, 07:11 PM
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This thread got too big for the server and is continued over here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html

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