Carpiaus

Hi,

I've been drinking for 20 years.
I guess you could call me a functioning alcoholic.
My life crashed recently after a hard year and I was prescribed anti depressants.
Unfortunately, I continued to drink so they had little effect..
I crashed even harder.
After weeks of consultation with specialists I've have been advised to abstain forever.
I have tapered down and today is my first day without.
I have a fantastic family, work and medical team but I have no idea how I'm going to cope without alcohol in my life.
I've been off work for 3 weeks and I'm terrified about the future.
Any advice that can be offered I would be very grateful for.

Carpiaus.

zjw

well 1 day at a time or maybe 1 min at a time even in the begining for starters. I also think support is super beneficial IE from a place like this or AA or something. good diet and excercise and rest goes a long way as well.

and I wont lie it will seem like total crap at times etc.. but you push through it gets better life gets a lot better sober vs not.

kevlarsjal

Hi carpiaus! Good you accepted you have a problem and even better for working on it! That's really great!

4 months ago I was in a very similar situation and couldn't / wanted imagine life without alcohol. I thought it was the only thing I could rely on in life and the only thing that helped me through my days. My addicted body and mind told me I needed it in order survive.

Now I know that's the biggest lie. It's the opposite. But it's the addiction making us blind there.

In my first 2 weeks of recovery I spend a lot of time just reading on here, analysing my addiction (what made me drink? Which situations and feelings triggered me? Why did I drink in just these situations, what were the effects I hoped for? What other possibilities are there to cope with the situations, feelings? What could be a trigger now in early sobriety?) and coming up with new coping strategies.
In the very beginning that was:

-to come here every time I feel like I want to drink (which I still do, this site has lots of support to offer)

- making sure I eat / drink enough (no alcohol of course, not in the food and especially not in the drinks)

- getting enough sleep if you can

- taking breaks and accepting that your energy levels will probably be quite low in the next weeks

- staying away from bars, parties, etc. I still went to restaurants but made sure to sit somewhere I didn't have to face the bar

- removing as much stress from your life as possible

- looking for different sources of support (family, friends, a therapist, this community here and I also tried AA and other groups)

I hope some of that was helpful! Good luck and stay strong, you can do it!

Doug39

Welcome. Your story is similar to mine.

I drank everyday for 27 years.
I was a functioning alcoholic.
My life came crashing down and I fell into deep depression, anxiety and panic attacks.
The last day I drank was 10/24/2016. The last day I worked was 10/26/2016. I was on disability for depression for 3 months, tried to go back to work 4 weeks ago but still couldn't cope so now I lost my job.

I am on anti-depressant meds and today I am 128 days sober. It was really hard to cope the first few months but it does slowly get better. And just when you are feeling normal it can hit you again. I could feel great one day and then be consumed with dread and panic the next day.

It is the brain adjusting to sobriety. It takes time but it is worth it. One Day at a Time and try practicing Mindfulness Meditation.

Good Luck.

ScottFromWI

Welcome Carpiaus! Sounds like you've done a lot of work already to get to this point, I think you've made a very wise decision to quit. I know that for me the thought of not drinking was pretty unfathomable at first too, I associated literally everyting with drinking. If I wasn't sleeping or at work I was drinking all day long, every day. I couldn't imagine how I would "Cope" without alcohol.

The funny thing is, alcohol wasn't helping at all...it was actually holding me back. It dulls your mind, weakens your body and generally makes you far less capable of doing anything.

What I needed to do was surround myself with support and to be around others who understand ( AKA other alcoholics ) each and every day. That really opened my eyes to the fact that there really is a life - and a better one - out there for the taking. Once you remove the blinders of alcohol a whole new world opens up.

ljc267

I drank for about the same amount of time as you. What I did is not consider drinking. That sounds simplistic and it is. That's not to say it is easy, it's not, but is very doable if you take that approach.

For me, when I half assed quitting, when things got tough I caved and drank. This time I said to myself this is it. No more. When things got tough and they did, I told my wife how I was feeling, and later came here to tell everyone here how I was feeling. It helped and it still does at over 4 months sober. It wasn't a cure all, but it was enough to keep me sober and that is enough. I made it my sole focus and objective. I took it as a challenge to myself. Being a competitive person I said to myself who is going to win, beer or me?

I guess with all of that rambling my point is you have to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober. Also, I think it is important to choose a strategy that fits your personality, whether it is AA, SMART, or on your own.

MicroMacro

"I have no idea how I'm going to cope without alcohol in my life."

That sentence speaks volumes. I can relate. I used to have a four bottle of wine a day relationship with alcohol.

In a nutshell - AA was and is helpful, but it has never resonated with me like it resonates with others. Alcohol was such a huge part of my life that I had to find something to replace it with that was as big as alcohol and drinking. I didn't want to eat, sleep and breathe AA because I'm not 100% in agreement with it, but I needed something to eat, sleep and breathe because that's what I did with alcohol. I started drinking at 9am when Little House on the Prairie started and I kept it up all day until bed time. Every day. For years. I never took a day off.

Stopping drinking is one thing. Staying stopped is another. What worked for me - so far - is replacing that relationship with alcohol with a new relationship - something huge. For me - huge meant going back to school. Today I'm a student in an accredited life coach program. I plan to work as a recovery coach in the future.

This might sound cheesy, but I think the best advice you'll ever get anywhere will come from your own heart. Your heart has the answers and it will never betray you.

Best.

SoberCAH

Welcome, Carpiaus, you have arrived at a much better way to live your life.

We're glad you're with us.

i hope you successfully follow a program of recovery.

For me, AA has worked perfectly for quite a while now.

gregknight

It all starts with that first day. You may not know how to cope without alcohol in your life right now, but how's life and coping with alcohol? None of us would be here if drinking worked for us. You will feel so much better when you can lay your head down to sleep, sober, and wake up not feeling like crap. Sounds like you have some good help and support which is critical to continuing sobriety. You can do this!

Dee74

Hi and welcome Carpiaus

I don't think any of us knew how we'd live without alcohol - I drank all day everyday by the end and I did everything with a drink.

Coming here tho really helped. I saw people who were living without alcohol and that gave me hope

I'm not gonna lie - it wasn't easy but then my drinking life was pretty hard to maintain too.

I just took it day by day - everyday I made a commitment to stay sober, no matter what and no matter what that took.

The support here supported me when I was overwhelmed with the urge or I felt especially weak.

It reminded me I wasn't alone

You can do this
D

Jfire

" I have no idea how I'm going to cope without alcohol in my life."
Carpiaus you will cope exponentially better without it

my last spree I couldn't zip up my jacket 4 days after no alcohol my motor neuron system was that bad , today paddling out and surfing an Irish winter.

It does get better and better than with alcohol

I promise as does 99% of the posters here

PhoenixJ

Welcome. Meetings, a sobriety plan, counselling, see a doc about physical health, SR, journal?

least

Welcome to the family. Getting sober for good takes changes and effort, but it's really worth it. I used to wonder what I'd do if I didn't drink but now I look back and wonder how I could stand that miserable existence. I'm much happier sober.

Mklove

Welcome Carp. After 40+ years I had truly never really considered quitting until my liver screamed for help and cirrhosis took a friend. I am so much healthier, it shows in mood, sleep, appetite, relationships. You will love it.

Carpiaus

Wow.

Some fantastic and positive there people.
Thank you.
I'm having bad days and just days at the minute but I'm so early into beating this that I guess it's normal to feel like this.
I'm competitive too and I like the idea of that fight.
"I never lose - I learn"
I'm a keen cyclist who until last October was managing to still do 100 miles a week.
I went out the other day with tears in my eyes. Not because it hurt but because I didn't want to do it. I wanted to sit at home and drink.
My focus needs to change and I feel it is. I'm starting to feel like I'm ready for a fight.
I'll take all your advice and manage 1 day at a time.
I've already decided to change my route home, avoid parties or events etc certainly for the time being.
Work are unaware my absence is alcohol related and are being very supportive of my current debility.
My family is fully supportive and it certainly feels so much better to be honest with them.
It feels even better to be honest with my self even if I'm scared silly about the facts and the future.
I have 2 wonderful boys aged 5 and 7 and they need their Daddy.

Thank you again for all the kind words.
I'll keep checking in and reading and let you know how it's going.

🤗

Done4today

Welcome Carpiaus,

You can do this. It takes work but having the never give up attitude will help you succeed.

Don't hesitate to post anything or any question. A lot of sobriety, knowledge and support here.

PhoenixJ

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Carpiaus!!