Askingaround

Hi I am new to admitting my failures and faults. I have been attending AA for two weeks since I decided I have a problem with alcohol but when my sponsor (temporary) sent me my first step I have freaked out and not gone to any meetings as I drank (a few civilised glasses - but it is a slippery slope) and I am embarrassed to give to reannounce my sobriety date. In the morning meetings they go around the room asking....

Any tips ? Do I just have to suck it up?

Coldfusion

Welcome!

The road to sobriety is not easy, but I think AA offers the best approach. Those who keep going to meetings after a long period of sobriety do so because they realize that at any moment they could go back out. These people understand your situation, and will welcome you back.

Askingaround

Thanks! I did message a few girls who had reached out to me after meetings when I was struggling tonight but I still don't think I am ready to admit that first step. Despite the fact I must know it's true. I hate the word hopeless and I am curious if this is a disease or just my bad judgement over many years.

Anyway thanks for reaching out cold fusion. Much appreciated and I would love to hear more of your journey x

doggonecarl

The word "hopeless" isn't in the first step:

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—
that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Drinking as soon as one is faced with the first step sounds both powerless and unmanageable.

I hope you reconsider going. Acceptance is key. A powerful component of recovery.

Askingaround

[QUOTE=doggonecarl;6341289]The word "hopeless

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—
that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Drinking as soon as one is face with the first step sounds both powerless and unmanageable.

I have set the alarm and I do plan to go - my fear is what to say when the traditions
Of that group are to announce your sobriety date as I said....

There was a quote spoken in a meeting I attended last week was that 'we are hopeless alcoholics'

I am thankful for your encouragement ;especially if you can help me navigate how to post ). Xx

Askingaround

[QUOTE=doggonecarl;6341289]The word "hopeless" isn't in the first step:

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—
that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Drinking as soon as one is faced with the first step sounds both powerless and unmanageable.
Thank you for your input. Perhaps as I said I am still struggling with this

Bird615

I am powerless over alcohol in that I can't t predict with any certainty just what will happen once I take that first drink. My life is unmanageable in that I can't control everything about it --not the other people or the places or the things I encounter.

Once I saw I was "hopeless" in that way I could reach out for help.

After 30 years sober, I got curious too and decided to test this. I found out that no, it wasn't just my bad judgement or immaturity and I was pretty quickly back in hell. I was still an alcoholic.

starstarstar

Can you just go to the meeting to sit and observe? Might be that you don't have to participate until you're ready?

Dee74

I reckon everyone there knows what it's like to 'go out' and then come back to a meeting - you'll be ok askingaround

D

Sober369

You sure can go in and admit you drank. Or, you can just go and tell them you don't want to talk about it. Don't feel you have to embarrass yourself in any way, or commit to anything. You do need a desire to stop drinking to go to closed meetings, though. There are lots of open meetings. You can look those up online at aa.org.
The people there have probably mostly had the same problem and fears. I could tile my bathroom floor with white chips. I'm not proud of that, but the point is very few people ever gave me a hard time about it, and a lot of people gave me a lot of support.
I'm not sure if I'm going to use the AA program this time or not, I'm still considering it at ten days sober, but I do go to meetings and sometimes it helps, other times, not sure.
It sounds to me like what you're saying, though, is that you're not sure if you're alcoholic or not. It helped me to take the 20 questions test. I think you can find it online, searching, '20 questions to see if I'm an alcoholic or not'. Unfortunately, for me, it also took getting to the point that alcohol made me very sick. I hope you can get to acceptance without getting to the very sick stage, if indeed you do have a problem.
Anyway, we're glad you're here and we'll be happy to hear from you. Let us know how it's going.