Kcey
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 209
That's really helpful- I really appreciate active support from longtime members - it reinforces my goals and where I want to be.
I've a long way to go and a lot of hard work in front of me -
I've been writing recipes this week / I am trying to make 10 healthy meals this Sunday so I want to get all the ingredients on Saturday so I'm making a bit of a project with it. Is that over the top / although we are having fun with it so it can't be that bad. My son is vegetarian so we're doing it together and he is delighted. That's another big plus.
I've a long way to go and a lot of hard work in front of me -
I've been writing recipes this week / I am trying to make 10 healthy meals this Sunday so I want to get all the ingredients on Saturday so I'm making a bit of a project with it. Is that over the top / although we are having fun with it so it can't be that bad. My son is vegetarian so we're doing it together and he is delighted. That's another big plus.
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Hi Kcey. I'm really glad that you are doing so well. You are an inspiration! You are also getting great advice from Wen and Bimini in the above posts. Keep it up.
On exercise and this idea that you should somehow wait to start on an exercise plan until you find the root cause, I have never heard that before. I can state unequivocally that exercise has been the single most important factor in my sobriety. If I am exercising regularly, it is as if I am building up a force field around myself to stay sober. As for this search for the root cause of your addiction, hey, go ahead and try to find it if you can. When I first got sober in December 2015, I thought that I needed to find the answer to why I had fallen into these addictive behaviors. I still don't have that answer. From reading this forum, I have found that many others in recovery are never able to answer it. I don't really think that there was any single factor that caused me to suddenly go down that path; I just had genetics that were welcoming to addiction and I took a whole bunch of small wrong turns along the way. So ... keep on the exercise path!
I'm not sure how old your son is but I have three boys. I didn't share with them all that I went through to be sober but I did tell them that I don't drink anymore. They started clapping and they have not forgotten that. I have since had regular conversations with them about the fact that alcohol can be really dangerous. It is fulfilling to know that I am serving as a good example for them. My parents were and are fantastic, but they and the entirety of my family consumed a whole ton of alcohol when I was growing up. I reached adulthood thinking that this was very normal. I don't blame them in even the smallest way for my addiction, but I do feel great knowing that I have the opportunity to teach my kids a little bit differently.
You're doing fantastically well Kcey! Keep it up. We are all cheering for you and I enjoy reading your updates.
On exercise and this idea that you should somehow wait to start on an exercise plan until you find the root cause, I have never heard that before. I can state unequivocally that exercise has been the single most important factor in my sobriety. If I am exercising regularly, it is as if I am building up a force field around myself to stay sober. As for this search for the root cause of your addiction, hey, go ahead and try to find it if you can. When I first got sober in December 2015, I thought that I needed to find the answer to why I had fallen into these addictive behaviors. I still don't have that answer. From reading this forum, I have found that many others in recovery are never able to answer it. I don't really think that there was any single factor that caused me to suddenly go down that path; I just had genetics that were welcoming to addiction and I took a whole bunch of small wrong turns along the way. So ... keep on the exercise path!
I'm not sure how old your son is but I have three boys. I didn't share with them all that I went through to be sober but I did tell them that I don't drink anymore. They started clapping and they have not forgotten that. I have since had regular conversations with them about the fact that alcohol can be really dangerous. It is fulfilling to know that I am serving as a good example for them. My parents were and are fantastic, but they and the entirety of my family consumed a whole ton of alcohol when I was growing up. I reached adulthood thinking that this was very normal. I don't blame them in even the smallest way for my addiction, but I do feel great knowing that I have the opportunity to teach my kids a little bit differently.
You're doing fantastically well Kcey! Keep it up. We are all cheering for you and I enjoy reading your updates.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 209
Appreciate the posts so much.
I haven't said much to my kids but it really resonates with me.
We can only make it better for the next generation, it's easy to carry on drinking when I'm functional (although never 100percent present) but I wonder to myself how many times has my lad told me he wants to be a vegetarian and I haven't heard him - last Sunday, my first sober day, he sat down and told me sincerely he couldn't eat meat - I told him I would sort it and I have, that was easy.
I think what I'm trying to say is I need to more than just functioning and just ticking the boxes of doing all the things excepted of me but being completely in the present.
I think I find it easy to kid myself everything's hunky dory then hide at the bottom of a bottle - but I think my kids and I are too good for that.
Another ramble I didn't anticipate.
2 years good going - take my hat off to you
I haven't said much to my kids but it really resonates with me.
We can only make it better for the next generation, it's easy to carry on drinking when I'm functional (although never 100percent present) but I wonder to myself how many times has my lad told me he wants to be a vegetarian and I haven't heard him - last Sunday, my first sober day, he sat down and told me sincerely he couldn't eat meat - I told him I would sort it and I have, that was easy.
I think what I'm trying to say is I need to more than just functioning and just ticking the boxes of doing all the things excepted of me but being completely in the present.
I think I find it easy to kid myself everything's hunky dory then hide at the bottom of a bottle - but I think my kids and I are too good for that.
Another ramble I didn't anticipate.
2 years good going - take my hat off to you
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 209
Hi guys hope your all ok
13 days today/ it's surprising how I feel pretty much the same person as I did when I was drinking.
I thought I would change somehow, silly really.
The main differences are when I wake up I initially think -
How do I feel- can I make it to work on time
Then go through the day feeling rough: it gained to mid afternoon and then I would start to think about getting home and having a drink .
That stress has gone now so I have more energy and I'm engaging more with others, enjoying the gym.
All is going well really- that first week was hell but after that not too bad - I do get the occasional twinge to have a drink but very quickly dismiss them thoughts.
Reading a posts here is something that helps so much- some stories are so sad I feel lucky to come through with no major health or financial issues.
I'm just going to stay on the wagon and be the most caring and understanding I can be.
Wonderful support network
13 days today/ it's surprising how I feel pretty much the same person as I did when I was drinking.
I thought I would change somehow, silly really.
The main differences are when I wake up I initially think -
How do I feel- can I make it to work on time
Then go through the day feeling rough: it gained to mid afternoon and then I would start to think about getting home and having a drink .
That stress has gone now so I have more energy and I'm engaging more with others, enjoying the gym.
All is going well really- that first week was hell but after that not too bad - I do get the occasional twinge to have a drink but very quickly dismiss them thoughts.
Reading a posts here is something that helps so much- some stories are so sad I feel lucky to come through with no major health or financial issues.
I'm just going to stay on the wagon and be the most caring and understanding I can be.
Wonderful support network
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by Kcey 
Hi guys hope your all ok
13 days today/ it's surprising how I feel pretty much the same person as I did when I was drinking.
I thought I would change somehow, silly really.
The main differences are when I wake up I initially think -
How do I feel- can I make it to work on time
Then go through the day feeling rough: it gained to mid afternoon and then I would start to think about getting home and having a drink .
That stress has gone now so I have more energy and I'm engaging more with others, enjoying the gym.
All is going well really- that first week was hell but after that not too bad - I do get the occasional twinge to have a drink but very quickly dismiss them thoughts.
Reading a posts here is something that helps so much- some stories are so sad I feel lucky to come through with no major health or financial issues.
I'm just going to stay on the wagon and be the most caring and understanding I can be.
Wonderful support network
13 days today/ it's surprising how I feel pretty much the same person as I did when I was drinking.
I thought I would change somehow, silly really.
The main differences are when I wake up I initially think -
How do I feel- can I make it to work on time
Then go through the day feeling rough: it gained to mid afternoon and then I would start to think about getting home and having a drink .
That stress has gone now so I have more energy and I'm engaging more with others, enjoying the gym.
All is going well really- that first week was hell but after that not too bad - I do get the occasional twinge to have a drink but very quickly dismiss them thoughts.
Reading a posts here is something that helps so much- some stories are so sad I feel lucky to come through with no major health or financial issues.
I'm just going to stay on the wagon and be the most caring and understanding I can be.
Wonderful support network
I would caution you to take this time when it is "not too bad" and prepare yourself for when things do get bad. Hopefully things will just continue to get better and better, but you should be prepared just in case. Next, I'm not sure from reading through the threads, have you confided in someone close to you the whole truth about your drinking and your recovery? Someone that you can call if things do get bad? Someone that you can utilize for accountability? I certainly don't believe that you need to make some big announcement about your newfound sobriety, but I strongly recommend that you have some sort of support network that goes beyond the folks on this forum. Also, be sure to have a plan for yourself for when something really, really traumatic happens. What if a close family member suddenly gets ill or your boss gives you a really terrible review or Donald Trump shows up in town (that was a joke - no politics allowed!)? Just be ready for this.
Other than that, keep doing what you are doing and be sure to take time to celebrate yourself and your amazing accomplishments so far. Whether you know it or not, you are doing something that a whole lot of people are never able to do. You deserve a reward!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 209
Greatest words of wisdom yet again
I will reflect a while and take your advice
Not sure what yet - it takes me a while to process all this information but I do understand what you mean.
You should get the medal not me.
Oh and by the you can keep trump thanks very much
I will reflect a while and take your advice
Not sure what yet - it takes me a while to process all this information but I do understand what you mean.
You should get the medal not me.
Oh and by the you can keep trump thanks very much
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Keep it going Kcey. It's going to keep getting better.
I would add to soberandhonest's excellent post: be ready for when you suddenly feel so good and start thinking, "Hm, I probably don't have as big a problem as I think. Look at how bad this other person is. I can probably have a drink here and there - special occasion and stuff."
No. This no drinking thing is "No Matter What." It has to be off the table, regardless of anything else in life, regardless of mood or outside influences.
Have a great Friday.
I would add to soberandhonest's excellent post: be ready for when you suddenly feel so good and start thinking, "Hm, I probably don't have as big a problem as I think. Look at how bad this other person is. I can probably have a drink here and there - special occasion and stuff."
No. This no drinking thing is "No Matter What." It has to be off the table, regardless of anything else in life, regardless of mood or outside influences.
Have a great Friday.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 209
I have actually thought exactly that.
But what i try try to remember is how bad the last few months got and how I know my addictive behaviour.
That goes for anything I do-
I don't know how to put it in to words but I know I can't habe the odd drink here and there - that doesn't work for me.
But I do know what your saying and I will take your advice. I do struggle opening up to people and I know people who know me really love and care for me but I'm the strong one who looks after everything and I don't want to worry any of them unnecessarily if I can handle this on my own ,
I have an uncle I could confide in who is in recovery . I know he goes to meetings and is very open about it so maybe I could chat to him.
At least you lot make me think- so thanks for taking the time to post
But what i try try to remember is how bad the last few months got and how I know my addictive behaviour.
That goes for anything I do-
I don't know how to put it in to words but I know I can't habe the odd drink here and there - that doesn't work for me.
But I do know what your saying and I will take your advice. I do struggle opening up to people and I know people who know me really love and care for me but I'm the strong one who looks after everything and I don't want to worry any of them unnecessarily if I can handle this on my own ,
I have an uncle I could confide in who is in recovery . I know he goes to meetings and is very open about it so maybe I could chat to him.
At least you lot make me think- so thanks for taking the time to post
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 209
Hi hope your doing ok and enjoying the weekend
I took your advice
I spoke to my uncle- he was gutted - he didn't see it coming
He tried to hide how upset he was but I could see it
I just told him I didn't want to drink anymore and I maybe needed someone to know
He asked me to be honest with him so I was -
He wants to take me to a meeting- I'm not ready yet -
But I'm glad I've told him it's a start
I took your advice
I spoke to my uncle- he was gutted - he didn't see it coming
He tried to hide how upset he was but I could see it
I just told him I didn't want to drink anymore and I maybe needed someone to know
He asked me to be honest with him so I was -
He wants to take me to a meeting- I'm not ready yet -
But I'm glad I've told him it's a start
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by Kcey
Hi hope your doing ok and enjoying the weekend
I took your advice
I spoke to my uncle- he was gutted - he didn't see it coming
He tried to hide how upset he was but I could see it
I just told him I didn't want to drink anymore and I maybe needed someone to know
He asked me to be honest with him so I was -
He wants to take me to a meeting- I'm not ready yet -
But I'm glad I've told him it's a start
I took your advice
I spoke to my uncle- he was gutted - he didn't see it coming
He tried to hide how upset he was but I could see it
I just told him I didn't want to drink anymore and I maybe needed someone to know
He asked me to be honest with him so I was -
He wants to take me to a meeting- I'm not ready yet -
But I'm glad I've told him it's a start
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