where do I go from here?
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Join Date: Jun 2016
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Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob 
We need to realize that even in sobriety we can hit some serious ruts. A Higher Power has helped many through the hard times. As we remember, booze is never a helper.
M-Bob
M-Bob
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Jojay,
Congrats on 8 months, that is fantastic!
I live in Southern California now, but grew up in NY, and the dark, dreary days of winter can definitely get to you. I have noticed the sun is starting to stay out a little longer, I know I enjoy more hours of daylight, not sure if that is you as well.
Someone else suggested visiting your doctor, it might be helpful. I know my mental state can affect how my body is feeling physically as well.
Sending lots of positive vibes across the pond to you.
❤️Delilah
Congrats on 8 months, that is fantastic!
I live in Southern California now, but grew up in NY, and the dark, dreary days of winter can definitely get to you. I have noticed the sun is starting to stay out a little longer, I know I enjoy more hours of daylight, not sure if that is you as well.
Someone else suggested visiting your doctor, it might be helpful. I know my mental state can affect how my body is feeling physically as well.
Sending lots of positive vibes across the pond to you.
❤️Delilah
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
There could be lots of reasons for how you feel, but using the law of averages, there is a good chance that alcoholism is behind this in your case. One interpretation of "ism" is internal spiritual malady, something I suffered from for as long as my alcoholism went untreated, and just not drinking does not treat alcoholism.
The longer I was sober, the worse it got, until I reached a point of such desperation that drinking looked attractive and I went back to my old solution. The sense of ease and comfort that comes from taking two or three drinks, drinks that I saw others taking with impunity.
To answer your final question, your present condition could be attributed to your not being in recovery, but instead just not drinking.
The longer I was sober, the worse it got, until I reached a point of such desperation that drinking looked attractive and I went back to my old solution. The sense of ease and comfort that comes from taking two or three drinks, drinks that I saw others taking with impunity.
To answer your final question, your present condition could be attributed to your not being in recovery, but instead just not drinking.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by Delilah1
Hi Jojay,
Congrats on 8 months, that is fantastic!
I live in Southern California now, but grew up in NY, and the dark, dreary days of winter can definitely get to you. I have noticed the sun is starting to stay out a little longer, I know I enjoy more hours of daylight, not sure if that is you as well.
Someone else suggested visiting your doctor, it might be helpful. I know my mental state can affect how my body is feeling physically as well.
Sending lots of positive vibes across the pond to you.
❤️Delilah
Congrats on 8 months, that is fantastic!
I live in Southern California now, but grew up in NY, and the dark, dreary days of winter can definitely get to you. I have noticed the sun is starting to stay out a little longer, I know I enjoy more hours of daylight, not sure if that is you as well.
Someone else suggested visiting your doctor, it might be helpful. I know my mental state can affect how my body is feeling physically as well.
Sending lots of positive vibes across the pond to you.
❤️Delilah
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by Gottalife
There could be lots of reasons for how you feel, but using the law of averages, there is a good chance that alcoholism is behind this in your case. One interpretation of "ism" is internal spiritual malady, something I suffered from for as long as my alcoholism went untreated, and just not drinking does not treat
The longer I was sober, the worse it got, until I reached a point of such desperation that drinking looked attractive and I went back to my old solution. The sense of ease and comfort that comes from taking two or three drinks, drinks that I saw others taking with impunity.
To answer your final question, your present condition could be attributed to your not being in recovery, but instead just not drinking.
The longer I was sober, the worse it got, until I reached a point of such desperation that drinking looked attractive and I went back to my old solution. The sense of ease and comfort that comes from taking two or three drinks, drinks that I saw others taking with impunity.
To answer your final question, your present condition could be attributed to your not being in recovery, but instead just not drinking.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
I have been having the same issue, I was alright for a while, and now I'm miserable.
Someone shared this with me:
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
Someone shared this with me:
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
F*** the Zero
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: London
Posts: 410
Originally Posted by Berrybean
I'm in the UK as well, and remember midweek daylight... just. Haha.
On a serious note,many alcoholics manage to stay sober for many months without working on their recovery, and barely notice as they become more depressed, anxious and their irritability, restlessness and discontentment grows and grows until it seems insurmountable, resulting in feelings of complete hopelessness. In my own personal experience, getting so that I was having suicidal thoughts (no attempts at any point I hasten to add), prayed every night that I could just die in my sleep, and my boss referred me for counselling because I was worryingly useless (as a teacher in a Special School, she couldn't afford me being how I was - no doubt I was a liability and brought a log of people's morale down. )
The turning point for me was reading an article about PAWs which made me realise that although I was going to AA (sitting in one meeting a week), actually I wasn't engaging in any real recovery work. I was just waiting to 'get better '. For it all to just 'click'. I was alive and I was sober. But I didn't feel like I was living if that makes any sense. Anyway. This is the article that helped me....
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
Might be worth having a read. Hope you feel better soon.
PS If you find the daylight, please send me some ☺
On a serious note,many alcoholics manage to stay sober for many months without working on their recovery, and barely notice as they become more depressed, anxious and their irritability, restlessness and discontentment grows and grows until it seems insurmountable, resulting in feelings of complete hopelessness. In my own personal experience, getting so that I was having suicidal thoughts (no attempts at any point I hasten to add), prayed every night that I could just die in my sleep, and my boss referred me for counselling because I was worryingly useless (as a teacher in a Special School, she couldn't afford me being how I was - no doubt I was a liability and brought a log of people's morale down. )
The turning point for me was reading an article about PAWs which made me realise that although I was going to AA (sitting in one meeting a week), actually I wasn't engaging in any real recovery work. I was just waiting to 'get better '. For it all to just 'click'. I was alive and I was sober. But I didn't feel like I was living if that makes any sense. Anyway. This is the article that helped me....
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
Might be worth having a read. Hope you feel better soon.
PS If you find the daylight, please send me some ☺
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Originally Posted by Jojay
Hi,your recommended link is the same one as recommended by Berrybean.It is really good and has ceartainly helped me.Many thanks
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
That's who gave it to me in another thread. Oy. I didn't read everyone's remarks here. Sorry about that.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Jojay,
take the drinking away and....if you're fine, then fine.
for me, after a while of no drinking and feeling much better and oping better, i slowly, gradually, got more and more miserable. only....well, i don't think, really, that i 'got' more miserable as much as that the misery could come to the surface, now that the previous anaesthetic was gone.
i became more and more aware of dissatisfactions, reactions, deficiencies, unhappinesses, unfullfilledness, something lacking...... i had ripped the cover off.
walks and vitamins and sleep are all good, but can't address somerhing much more fundamental. if that's what it is.
take the drinking away and....if you're fine, then fine.
for me, after a while of no drinking and feeling much better and oping better, i slowly, gradually, got more and more miserable. only....well, i don't think, really, that i 'got' more miserable as much as that the misery could come to the surface, now that the previous anaesthetic was gone.
i became more and more aware of dissatisfactions, reactions, deficiencies, unhappinesses, unfullfilledness, something lacking...... i had ripped the cover off.
walks and vitamins and sleep are all good, but can't address somerhing much more fundamental. if that's what it is.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by fini
Jojay,
take the drinking away and....if you're fine, then fine.
for me, after a while of no drinking and feeling much better and oping better, i slowly, gradually, got more and more miserable. only....well, i don't think, really, that i 'got' more miserable as much as that the misery could come to the surface, now that the previous anaesthetic was gone.
i became more and more aware of dissatisfactions, reactions, deficiencies, unhappinesses, unfullfilledness, something lacking...... i had ripped the cover off.
walks and vitamins and sleep are all good, but can't address somerhing much more fundamental. if that's what it is.
take the drinking away and....if you're fine, then fine.
for me, after a while of no drinking and feeling much better and oping better, i slowly, gradually, got more and more miserable. only....well, i don't think, really, that i 'got' more miserable as much as that the misery could come to the surface, now that the previous anaesthetic was gone.
i became more and more aware of dissatisfactions, reactions, deficiencies, unhappinesses, unfullfilledness, something lacking...... i had ripped the cover off.
walks and vitamins and sleep are all good, but can't address somerhing much more fundamental. if that's what it is.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 508
Lifestyle changes are the biggie when it comes to recovery.
Natural anti-depressants include; brisk walks, good sleep, healthy eating, social connectedness and education, learning about the self.
I'm also in the UK. Vitamin D is what we get from natural sunlight so this time of year many people need that extra boost.
The problem with long-term drinking is the brain damage it can cause and it takes time for the brain to 'rewire' into a state where it has useful coping tools for dealing with everyday stresses and strains and behaves in a way beneficial to the user!
There are loads of good 'books on prescription' that you can get from the local library and educate yourself about depression and many of the other mental health disorders that come along with addiction.
Sun is out again today, let's go eat green leafy veg!!
BTW congrats on 8 months sober... Keep on keeping on
Natural anti-depressants include; brisk walks, good sleep, healthy eating, social connectedness and education, learning about the self.
I'm also in the UK. Vitamin D is what we get from natural sunlight so this time of year many people need that extra boost.
The problem with long-term drinking is the brain damage it can cause and it takes time for the brain to 'rewire' into a state where it has useful coping tools for dealing with everyday stresses and strains and behaves in a way beneficial to the user!
There are loads of good 'books on prescription' that you can get from the local library and educate yourself about depression and many of the other mental health disorders that come along with addiction.
Sun is out again today, let's go eat green leafy veg!!
BTW congrats on 8 months sober... Keep on keeping on
Last edited by CelticZebra; 01-20-2017 at 01:09 AM. Reason: Add congrats
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Posts: 334
Originally Posted by CelticZebra
Lifestyle changes are the biggie when it comes to recovery.
Natural anti-depressants include; brisk walks, good sleep, healthy eating, social connectedness and education, learning about the self.
I'm also in the UK. Vitamin D is what we get from natural sunlight so this time of year many people need that extra boost.
The problem with long-term drinking is the brain damage it can cause and it takes time for the brain to 'rewire' into a state where it has useful coping tools for dealing with everyday stresses and strains and behaves in a way beneficial to the user!
There are loads of good 'books on prescription' that you can get from the local library and educate yourself about depression and many of the other mental health disorders that come along with addiction.
Sun is out again today, let's go eat green leafy veg!!
BTW congrats on 8 months sober... Keep on keeping on
Natural anti-depressants include; brisk walks, good sleep, healthy eating, social connectedness and education, learning about the self.
I'm also in the UK. Vitamin D is what we get from natural sunlight so this time of year many people need that extra boost.
The problem with long-term drinking is the brain damage it can cause and it takes time for the brain to 'rewire' into a state where it has useful coping tools for dealing with everyday stresses and strains and behaves in a way beneficial to the user!
There are loads of good 'books on prescription' that you can get from the local library and educate yourself about depression and many of the other mental health disorders that come along with addiction.
Sun is out again today, let's go eat green leafy veg!!
BTW congrats on 8 months sober... Keep on keeping on
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Originally Posted by Jojay
Hi Fini.You have described so well how I am feeling.Many regrets thats for sure.But none of us can turn back time.I just hope that I cheer up in the near future.Many thanks
for me, hoping to cheer up...ja, i spent some time there, too.
later, when that didn't really "work", i came to the conclusion i needed a real overhaul. something fundamental, kinda foundational.
for me, doing the step-stuff made sense at that point. but there are other ways.
you're at 8 months, and that is great.
it might be time to check out more thoroughly what's going on, what the misery is, if you feel a lack, a uselessness, a lack of meaning, and then see how you can address that by taking action other than hoping to cheer up.
hard to tell in cyberspace where you're at...and i don't intend this as criticism. but it does sound like you could use a push in a direction of more substance other than hope to cheer up.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
I was sober for almost a year up until a couple of years ago and now that I think about it I went through what you are describing towards the end - and that, plus tailing off AA meetings did for me and I started drinking again. I felt great for a while too of course until the booze did what it always does and within a couple of weeks I was feeling terrible again.
I was not a big AA type then - I attended meetings more out of a sense that I was taking a medicine to beat the booze. What I think and hope on this occasion is that I follow advice freely given at AA, which is to attend as many meetings as possible. I have known people who have been sober for a year or more coming to their first meeting. Might be worth a try. They aren't scary in the least!
I was not a big AA type then - I attended meetings more out of a sense that I was taking a medicine to beat the booze. What I think and hope on this occasion is that I follow advice freely given at AA, which is to attend as many meetings as possible. I have known people who have been sober for a year or more coming to their first meeting. Might be worth a try. They aren't scary in the least!
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by fini
Jojay,
for me, hoping to cheer up...ja, i spent some time there, too.
later, when that didn't really "work", i came to the conclusion i needed a real overhaul. something fundamental, kinda foundational.
for me, doing the step-stuff made sense at that point. but there are other ways.
you're at 8 months, and that is great.
it might be time to check out more thoroughly what's going on, what the misery is, if you feel a lack, a uselessness, a lack of meaning, and then see how you can address that by taking action other than hoping to cheer up.
hard to tell in cyberspace where you're at...and i don't intend this as criticism. but it does sound like you could use a push in a direction of more substance other than hope to cheer up.
for me, hoping to cheer up...ja, i spent some time there, too.
later, when that didn't really "work", i came to the conclusion i needed a real overhaul. something fundamental, kinda foundational.
for me, doing the step-stuff made sense at that point. but there are other ways.
you're at 8 months, and that is great.
it might be time to check out more thoroughly what's going on, what the misery is, if you feel a lack, a uselessness, a lack of meaning, and then see how you can address that by taking action other than hoping to cheer up.
hard to tell in cyberspace where you're at...and i don't intend this as criticism. but it does sound like you could use a push in a direction of more substance other than hope to cheer up.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by Mentium
I was sober for almost a year up until a couple of years ago and now that I think about it I went through what you are describing towards the end - and that, plus tailing off AA meetings did for me and I started drinking again. I felt great for a while too of course until the booze did what it always does and within a couple of weeks I was feeling terrible again.
I was not a big AA type then - I attended meetings more out of a sense that I was taking a medicine to beat the booze. What I think and hope on this occasion is that I follow advice freely given at AA, which is to attend as many meetings as possible. I have known people who have been sober for a year or more coming to their first meeting. Might be worth a try. They aren't scary in the least!
I was not a big AA type then - I attended meetings more out of a sense that I was taking a medicine to beat the booze. What I think and hope on this occasion is that I follow advice freely given at AA, which is to attend as many meetings as possible. I have known people who have been sober for a year or more coming to their first meeting. Might be worth a try. They aren't scary in the least!
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Originally Posted by Jojay
Hi mentium.Well I attended AA for a while last year.Maybe will go back again.I know I will never ever drink again.There was a really good post yesterday,where they likened the memories of early wirhdrawal to that of touching a hot stove...not to be repeated.Thankyou so much for suggesting AA.
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Originally Posted by Mentium
I should have added that meetings 'for the sake of them' are pointless. If they can help us grow and develop and move on from booze then they are surely worth it. If not - well no point really.
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