ByHisLove

I would say a narcissist for sure. Reading your post brought back so many memories (terrible ones) of my ex-husband. They may be clones in fact.

God gave me the strength to get counseling and learn that I didn't have to take his constant manipulation and abuse. I was finally able to learn that I didn't deserve it and surely didn't have to tolerate it a minute longer and I pray that you are able to realize the same.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I wouldn't waste one more apology or even one more second on boy narcissist. Prayers to you.

maia1234

Ugh!!!

He's working a program? I think not. You can see when an addict is working a program, you don't need to be told. He is an abusive, angry dry drunk, that spews his anger at you. Thank God he is out of your home. I would block him on fb, he doesn't need to see who you are talking too or who your frinds are. He has nothing else to do but chastise your "likes" on fb? He needs to grow up and get a life. I agree with lexie, talk to an attorney and quickly. He wants to focus 100% on his sobriety so he can't work and support the kids, Really? You need to let him know that you are educated and know your rights.

Keep working your program my friend, you will be a strong powerful momma to those twins of yours. Make them proud of you!! Hugs!!

mylifeismine

The first step off the roller coaster is to start seeing the reality of
your life. See it for what it really is, not something you can fix.
See the abuse & manipulation as it really is. See how the you and
the kids are suffering because of it.

Then, admit that you possess ___no special powers___ to fix it. None.
Nada, zero. This is the belief that kept me on the ride.

See how many of these resonate with you

What NOT To Do ? Out of the FOG

Nata1980

Yep - there is some serious personality disorder coming through there.

Sounds exactly like my XAH. And it worked on me last time I took him back. Does he scream that you abuse him and make him want to drink? XAH is even worse - we are not even trying to reconcile, and he is doing the blaming, crying crocodile tears about not seeing his son while sitting on his rear 300 miles away (school is not break so he is not
teaching) - there is absolutely nothing that prevents him from seeing his son. Said that I would have had an affair too if I had "better personality" - I was cold and unloving, and "too proper", and was going to leave him anyway this is why he cheated, per his theory.

Not the one to give advice - what worked for me is telling him "no" and seeeing how he reacts.

One positive is that he has been paying child support

Please get that child support order - you have two babies and if he gets out of it now he will learn that it is acceptable and then it will be very difficult to get anything out of him.

qtpi

Thank you for this thread. The last time I confronted STBXAH about drinking he told me I was brutal and cruel. I was just bringing up drinking because I didn't want to feel guilty about leaving him. I see know he is in a different reality. Manipulation? Maybe. But from his point of view asking him to give up drinking was cruel and brutal. And from his point of view there was nothing wrong with his drinking... I had it wrong.... Therefore it was just the excuse I needed to leave him. So... he may truly believe these things when he said them. But it was a roller coaster. He was selfish self centered abusive mean neglectful... Bad news. So glad I left. People I trust have told me he really doesn't understand why I left. And also that after 40 years of drinking he has quit without AA. I don't believe that.