Drinking after 3 years sober how do I stop?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
You just have to CHOOSE.... to embrace sobriety again.
Then ACT with actions to support that choice.
You've had 3 years sober, so you already know the answer to your question.
Nobody but you can choose it.
No method or approach or magic will work until you do.
Then ACT with actions to support that choice.
You've had 3 years sober, so you already know the answer to your question.
Nobody but you can choose it.
No method or approach or magic will work until you do.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I've posted many times about my 18 years of sobriety - then I drank.
When I quit the first time, I knew it was something I needed to do on many levels, and I was quite young, just early thirties.
When I drank again, it wasn't in response to any one thing, but it was just where I was at that moment. Like you have read from others and are learning in your own experience the outcome was the same as my first drinking career. My experience was that sometimes I could drink moderately; at least in the early years. As time went on, and I became increasingly dependent I had to drink more and more often. By the end it was misery again, just like in my thirties. No big catastrophe, no unalterable consequences, just that I had to drink and felt like dying. For an hour or two a day I felt buzzy and euphoric and stimulated. Then it was, "chase that feeling," never catch it, keep drinking and then pay for it at 3AM and again in the morning. The fear that I was doing a lot of damage to my not-so-young-anymore body was huge. Some days I went a little too far and couldn't get out of bed. The anxiety and depression was soul-crushing.
When I quit this second time, I knew it was something I needed to do on many levels. I'm almost at three years again on this quit, but one thing I don't do is beat myself up over having to do it. It's the right thing to do. I drank and it's over again. I still don't have a one-size-fits-all recovery "method." I just know where it all leads when I do drink and I'm done with that horrible existence. I ran the epic failure of an experiment and I'm not going make a big deal about it. It's not my entire identity, and it's over.
When I quit the first time, I knew it was something I needed to do on many levels, and I was quite young, just early thirties.
When I drank again, it wasn't in response to any one thing, but it was just where I was at that moment. Like you have read from others and are learning in your own experience the outcome was the same as my first drinking career. My experience was that sometimes I could drink moderately; at least in the early years. As time went on, and I became increasingly dependent I had to drink more and more often. By the end it was misery again, just like in my thirties. No big catastrophe, no unalterable consequences, just that I had to drink and felt like dying. For an hour or two a day I felt buzzy and euphoric and stimulated. Then it was, "chase that feeling," never catch it, keep drinking and then pay for it at 3AM and again in the morning. The fear that I was doing a lot of damage to my not-so-young-anymore body was huge. Some days I went a little too far and couldn't get out of bed. The anxiety and depression was soul-crushing.
When I quit this second time, I knew it was something I needed to do on many levels. I'm almost at three years again on this quit, but one thing I don't do is beat myself up over having to do it. It's the right thing to do. I drank and it's over again. I still don't have a one-size-fits-all recovery "method." I just know where it all leads when I do drink and I'm done with that horrible existence. I ran the epic failure of an experiment and I'm not going make a big deal about it. It's not my entire identity, and it's over.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by biminiblue
but one thing I don't do is beat myself up over having to do it. It's the right thing to do. I drank and it's over again. I still don't have a one-size-fits-all recovery "method." I just know where it all leads when I do drink and I'm done with that horrible existence.
Thank you. There are so many words of wisdom and experience as well as immense help and support here on SR.
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to post their experiences and kind words. It means such a lot to me and I feel so grateful to be a part of this wonderful place.
I can't change what I've done but I can change what I do now.
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