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Emotional Maturity Support Thread

Old 02-02-2017, 05:03 PM
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Is anybody else this hard on themselves when they act emotional sober?
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Old 02-02-2017, 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by paulokes View Post
Emotional Maturity...Spiritual Maturity...

Facebook is good for some things. Saw this today and thought it was excellent!

*************************
What is Spiritual Maturity?

1. Spiritual Maturity is *when you stop trying to change others,...instead focus on changing yourself.*

2. Spiritual Maturity is when you *accept people as they are.*

3. Spiritual Maturity is when you *understand everyone is right in their own perspective.*

4. Spiritual Maturity is when you* *learn to "let go".*

5. Spiritual Maturity is when you are able to *drop "expectations" from a relationship and give for the sake of giving.*

6. Spiritual Maturity is when you *understand whatever you do, you do for your own peace.*

7. Spiritual Maturity is when you *stop proving to the world, how intelligent you are.*

8. Spiritual Maturity is when you *don't seek approval from others.*

9. Spiritual Maturity is when you *stop comparing with others.*

10. Spiritual Maturity is when you *are at peace with yourself.*

11. Spiritual Maturity is when you *are able to differentiate between "need" and "want" and are able to let go of your wants.*

*& last but most meaningful !*

12. You gain Spiritual Maturity when you *stop attaching "happiness" to material things !!*

************************

In my experience, it really is a slow and simple process and much more about coming to accept the world as it is, than trying to figure things out.

Peace

P
Paul - This list is wonderful.

All of them took work to attain, but since we're sharing, #2, 4, 8, 9, and 11 are my tougher sticking points.

BC - I accept myself as a "work in progress." I try to surround myself with people with good recovery, who will help me recognize if I am letting one of my character defects take over, and help me access the tools I need to let it go.
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Old 02-02-2017, 05:30 PM
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Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth View Post

Can anyone relate to what I am saying? When I was drinking, I overreacted to everything, but in sobriety I've tried to be so disciplined that I have completely shut down emotionally. How do you bring that back to a happy medium?
Yes that's the way I think it is for most alcoholics, we take everything including emotions to the extreme. We become a whirlwind in people's lives and at the best of times we barely have control of our emotions.

I was like that. These days I don't try to suppress my emotions, I still feel fear, anger, resentment and sadness and get anxious or depressed. That's normal, that's human and in most cases the appropriate internal response to whats happening in our lives. The trick is what to do with those emotions. While emotions like anger or frustration may come without my permission, my response to that emotional trigger is my choice. I can choose how to respond in the lag between stimuli and reaction. I can respond mindfully, in control and calm or I can "fly off the handle" like I used to.

"How do you bring that back to a happy medium?"

With practice, after several years I can observe my emotions that well in the pit of my gut with a fair degree of equanimity. I can embrace that emotion and let it go and give myself time to decide how to respond if I respond at all. Give yourself a break, be gentle on yourself and accept emotions as part of being the human you are.

I meditate daily, I also keep a daily journal in the tradition of the Stoics, I practice spot awareness/mindfulness by scanning myself helps (ask "what am I thinking /feeling right now"), imagine yourself being an external observer of your thoughts and emotions. You will soon see that most fears are "false evidence appearing real" and you will laugh at emotional overreactions to things that barely matter.

I don't think life is meant to be all roses, consider that every good quality about yourself is in someway thanks to the hard times you came through.
"Life happens for us, not to us"
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Old 02-03-2017, 07:35 PM
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Nice post Johnno. Thank you.
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Old 02-03-2017, 07:46 PM
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J- a most excellent post.
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Old 02-15-2017, 03:19 PM
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I'm reading The Road Back to You: The Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery

It's really interesting so far. Too complicated to explain here, but check it out.
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