today29

I went to a meeting tonight. I stayed sober another day. I also ran into two women at the meeting whom I first met when I was in jail. One of the women I actually used with when I was in jail. I am happy they are both still alive and sober. The one I used with gave me her phone number and said we should hang out. I am kind of scared to hang out with her. She has only been home for two weeks and the last time I seen her we were using drugs together in jail. Is it wrong of me not to trust myself around her?

finaltime

good to hear from you. I am going to a meeting this weekend and I am so excited. I need meetings so bad. You can feel that way. Do you have a sponsor?

teatreeoil007

I just now have caught up on your thread, today29.

What an interesting, but perplexing case.

My first instinct is to diagnose your mother, but can't do that, so won't go there.

Has she ever had good psychiatric treatment? Maybe you already said that and I missed it. But, if she were willing and able, that is what I would push for.....

Let me just say that your mother does not seem to have good judgment or a good conscience where herself or her children are concerned....how does a person develop that? I'd have to know what HER childhood was like, for starters? Was she abused? Did she have a very unstable upbringing; was there anyone who taught her right from wrong and about consequences? There are some things that first go through my mind.....

BUT: If she is mentally ill, I don't know that a "good conscience" is the issue here. Her thinking is messed up; further messed up by addiction. But since they don't know for sure what causes all mental illnesses, it's hard to pin down what caused her to be this way....

One red flag of messed up thinking is when a person continuously comes up with illness[es] that may likely not be grounded in reality?

I knew a lady who seemed to have everything in the world wrong with her....and the funny thing is, she didn't seem to have any care for what others might truly have wrong with them....it was always all about her and what she went through....she loved to tell people all about herself, but never listened to others....very insular, to say the least. That is messed up thinking.

Just as it's messed up thinking to have your brother become a drug dealer. But, there are some pretty messed up family situations out there in this ole world....Maybe I sound jaded, but not too much surprises me anymore. I've seem some very bizarre things.

Anyhow: as painful as this is for you, you can find healing for yourself. I take it as a good sign that you yourself see how wrong this is.

Please feel free to tell us more and come here for support. We understand.

Marcus

Glad you went. It is absolutely okay not to trust yourself around her. I wasn't in jail, but I have been to detoxes and rehabs and learned the hard way I need to be careful about that sort of thing. That is not to say you should completely avoid her, but maybe keep it to seeing her at meetings for now. Just a suggestion based on my experience.

teatreeoil007

No, that is not wrong...that is smart and cautious. You probably don't need me to tell you that when it comes to being clean, there is no such thing as being too cautious.

today29

Thank you all for the advice. My mother does suffer from mental illnesses and has been institutionalized several times in the past. She believes she is 100% better now. She has come a very long way I do give her credit with that, however I wish she could understand mental health along with sobriety is a life long struggle something we have to work on everyday, you're not just one day healed. I am learning that if I want to have a relationship with her, which I do, I need to accept the fact that this is who she is and set boundaries.
It was so great to go to a meeting and be around people with similar struggles. Young, old, poor and wealthy we all are addicts and can help each other. I feel truly blessed and am thankful to be sober today.

finaltime

Good stuff today. you sound good. proud of you.

today29

I am not doing so well today. My mother has called me all day however I ignored it until this afternoon. She was calling me crying telling me my brother is going to die from his drinking. He is now drinking a bottle of vodka a day sometimes more. He is only 28 years old and has been an alcoholic since he was 17. I have not spoken to my brother in over two years partly because I was using at the time and partly because I am just burnt out from my own addiction and trying to help him with his. My brother and I grew up very close. We grew up in a family of alcoholics and you would think I have seen it all. I want to help my brother so bad, I want to save his life. I don't want to have to go to his funeral. Our father died when he was 46 due to his drinking and life style choices. I have spent all afternoon in a very "manic" frenzy worried about my brother and coming up with some very irrational and irresponsible ideas on how to help. Some of them would probably land me back in prison. My lovely husband noticed my manic state and asked if I had taken my medication today (Bi-polar, borderline personality, etc) I forgot. I immediately took my meds and am now thanks to my mood stabilizer starting to re-enter reality, where there are consequences for my actions.
My question is what can I do to help my brother? If anything. I am so scared he is going to die. He is already been diagnosed with high blood pressure, crohns disease he is also red all over his face from his drinking. I feel like I need to do something.

teatreeoil007

Hang in there 💕💕😎

Don't give up!