Relapsed and depressed.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Marina Boulevard
Posts: 20
Relapsed and depressed.
So i got out of rehab in august and have been clean until last night. Im already going through depression and other mental illness and i really feel like absolute **** now. I'm also back to abusing some pain pills again. I really don't want to live like this anymore , i don't want to go back to full blown addiction , How many times does a person relapse before finally being able to go clean ?. My doctor was talking to me about something called naltrexone for my alcohol cravings, has anybody here tried it before?
peace
peace
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 69
Hang in there.
One of the worst things you can do is beat yourself up. Mistakes and slip ups do happen, hopefully less and less as you learn from each. I'm in a similar situation... Was clean for 9 months then relapsed again a couple months ago, started to beat myself up so I felt like garbage but that only made me want to drink more. If you can, keep the relapse as short as possible. Don't drown in shame. Think about what you can do NOW, and in the next day. Small steps. Don't get overwhelmed by the sometimes seemingly impossible big picture. I'd recommend getting outside if you can tomorrow and get a walk or hike in. I have found off the edge of relapse that fresh air does wonders.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
How many times does a person relapse before finally being able to go clean ?.
I think it's entirely different for each individual. For me it was when I decided sobriety was my only option over dying from alcoholism. Acceptance is a major key in quiting. Just resolve to the fact that you can't drink anymore and move on in life without alcohol.
Just keep trying. You have nothing to loose from not drinking. Everything to gain.
I think it's entirely different for each individual. For me it was when I decided sobriety was my only option over dying from alcoholism. Acceptance is a major key in quiting. Just resolve to the fact that you can't drink anymore and move on in life without alcohol.
Just keep trying. You have nothing to loose from not drinking. Everything to gain.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 2,332
I have taken naltrexone and it worked well for me at the beginning with controlling cravings. After a while, it didn't seem to help as much and I stopped taking it. I hope you find success with it if you decide to take it 
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Originally Posted by Corse 
How many times does a person relapse before finally being able to go clean ?. My doctor was talking to me about something called naltrexone for my alcohol cravings, has anybody here tried it before?
I don't have any experience with naltrexone.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Corse
I have relapsed a lot so I understand. Why did I relapse? I had no program of recovery, no F2F support. And I simply was not surrendered to the fact that I will not drink again. What kind of aftercare did you have when leaving rehab?
I have not tried Naltrexone. I do know that it is only intended for short term use and it is to be used in conjunction with a strong program of recovery. It is supposed to help 'physical' cravings, but I don't believe it does anything for the 'obsession' of the mind. Soooo without some sort of program that addresses the latter, such as AA, recovery using willpower alone will be very difficult.
I have relapsed a lot so I understand. Why did I relapse? I had no program of recovery, no F2F support. And I simply was not surrendered to the fact that I will not drink again. What kind of aftercare did you have when leaving rehab?
I have not tried Naltrexone. I do know that it is only intended for short term use and it is to be used in conjunction with a strong program of recovery. It is supposed to help 'physical' cravings, but I don't believe it does anything for the 'obsession' of the mind. Soooo without some sort of program that addresses the latter, such as AA, recovery using willpower alone will be very difficult.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sorry to hear that you are using again Corse. I would agree that there is no set number of times that one returns to their addiction, it all depends on how willing you are to actively work on your recover each and every day. There is "full blown" drinking and using, but we are always "full blown" addicts....even when we are abstinent. What kind of programs or exercises did the rehab set you up with? I would also suggest contacting them like Dee said to find out what is available in your area as far as meetings, counseling, perhaps even outpatient rehab?
Regarding naltrexone and other drugs like them, they are all designed to work in conjunction with a recovery plan. There's no "magic pill" that will cure us of our addicition unfortunately.
Regarding naltrexone and other drugs like them, they are all designed to work in conjunction with a recovery plan. There's no "magic pill" that will cure us of our addicition unfortunately.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Agree with Scott, as often.
First, drugs. Re Naltrexone- do you have insurance, as a first and practical question? The drug is very expensive and not always covered, or only for a month or so; when it was prescribed for me, the first month was given to me and the out of pocket cost would have been $1K or more. It can be a shot (good for a month) or pills (I believe daily). I had one shot - as I had no plans to stop drinking, I can't say it worked. As Scott said, no medicine works magic in a drunk vacuum.
Other drugs that might be mentioned and with which I have SOBER experience. Campral is a daily med for craving and at 8mo I expect to take it indefinitely; I have had zero cravings since I quit and while I personally believe my problem has been removed thanks to a VERY strong AA program, if this medicine has helped one bit with the physical part, Amen and bring it on.
I also took Antabuse the first 90 days. This drug is a serious one with possible side effects and it is meant to make you sick- up to and including dying- if you drink while on it. Some drs require office visits for you to get your daily dose; mine had me sign a daily sheet and get a witness signature that I showed her at every appt. Again, I messed around with this when drinking and would not recommend that.
Overall, I am on a drug regimen that works for me. Campral, meds for originally dx BPD (while drinking- this is again "maintenance" as my BPD symptoms and behavior are gone like the drinking, and I am in the more "typical" part of the psych spectrum now), Seroquel for sleep, lorazepam (ativan) for anxiety and as needed. My point in sharing this is that there are great drugs that can help - if you don't drink and work with your dr.
As far as a relapse- I don't believe they are necessary to recovery. I never quit drinking (unless forced to because I was in the hospital for some reason) until I quit cold turkey in Feb. As Dee said- you don't have to turn this drinking episode(s) into a full blown, ongoing relapse like many (many) alcoholics do. The pain pills have to go, too. Many here (and IRL) will suggest not going cold turkey, or at least having a discussion with a dr and making a plan for quitting (alcohol or drugs) - I am possibly "old school" or whatever, or perhaps just have the hide of a rhinoceros, but I'm a cold turkey person, whatever the consequences. Not saying that this is the best way, just that tapering or "planning" to quit can be a delay and denial and avoidance tactic.
What's the plan? Today. Don't drink. I would suggest go to an AA mtg. Whether it becomes your program or not, support is key right now. Distraction is also key. Don't drink.
Do you have people who can be with you? Can you stay at home (and throw away any alcohol still around)? What can you fill your time with today- TV show fave binge watching, sleep, anything?
The ultimate bottom line? You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink, and you absolutely CAN make that decision TODAY.
Good luck.
First, drugs. Re Naltrexone- do you have insurance, as a first and practical question? The drug is very expensive and not always covered, or only for a month or so; when it was prescribed for me, the first month was given to me and the out of pocket cost would have been $1K or more. It can be a shot (good for a month) or pills (I believe daily). I had one shot - as I had no plans to stop drinking, I can't say it worked. As Scott said, no medicine works magic in a drunk vacuum.
Other drugs that might be mentioned and with which I have SOBER experience. Campral is a daily med for craving and at 8mo I expect to take it indefinitely; I have had zero cravings since I quit and while I personally believe my problem has been removed thanks to a VERY strong AA program, if this medicine has helped one bit with the physical part, Amen and bring it on.
I also took Antabuse the first 90 days. This drug is a serious one with possible side effects and it is meant to make you sick- up to and including dying- if you drink while on it. Some drs require office visits for you to get your daily dose; mine had me sign a daily sheet and get a witness signature that I showed her at every appt. Again, I messed around with this when drinking and would not recommend that.
Overall, I am on a drug regimen that works for me. Campral, meds for originally dx BPD (while drinking- this is again "maintenance" as my BPD symptoms and behavior are gone like the drinking, and I am in the more "typical" part of the psych spectrum now), Seroquel for sleep, lorazepam (ativan) for anxiety and as needed. My point in sharing this is that there are great drugs that can help - if you don't drink and work with your dr.
As far as a relapse- I don't believe they are necessary to recovery. I never quit drinking (unless forced to because I was in the hospital for some reason) until I quit cold turkey in Feb. As Dee said- you don't have to turn this drinking episode(s) into a full blown, ongoing relapse like many (many) alcoholics do. The pain pills have to go, too. Many here (and IRL) will suggest not going cold turkey, or at least having a discussion with a dr and making a plan for quitting (alcohol or drugs) - I am possibly "old school" or whatever, or perhaps just have the hide of a rhinoceros, but I'm a cold turkey person, whatever the consequences. Not saying that this is the best way, just that tapering or "planning" to quit can be a delay and denial and avoidance tactic.
What's the plan? Today. Don't drink. I would suggest go to an AA mtg. Whether it becomes your program or not, support is key right now. Distraction is also key. Don't drink.
Do you have people who can be with you? Can you stay at home (and throw away any alcohol still around)? What can you fill your time with today- TV show fave binge watching, sleep, anything?
The ultimate bottom line? You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink, and you absolutely CAN make that decision TODAY.
Good luck.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"How many times does a person relapse before finally being able to go clean ?. "
when I TRIED it for people.places, and things? a jillion half assed tries. made it 30 days once.
when I DID it for me and me alone?
1
this can be the last time for ya- no more excuses to pick up. no more blaming anything or anyone. start taking accountability and responsibility for your actions. yup, depression and mental illness are a bitch, but a drink/drug don't help.
you went to rehab. great! then you must have gotten the tools to live clean and sober.
go get them tools out of the garbage can and start using them and ya wont have to have another relapse thread again.
and throw out the arse kikin machine. it aint doin ya any good.
when I TRIED it for people.places, and things? a jillion half assed tries. made it 30 days once.
when I DID it for me and me alone?
1
this can be the last time for ya- no more excuses to pick up. no more blaming anything or anyone. start taking accountability and responsibility for your actions. yup, depression and mental illness are a bitch, but a drink/drug don't help.
you went to rehab. great! then you must have gotten the tools to live clean and sober.
go get them tools out of the garbage can and start using them and ya wont have to have another relapse thread again.
and throw out the arse kikin machine. it aint doin ya any good.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,642
Honestly, the only thing that keeps me from drinking is knowledge of exactly what will happen if I do. I will end up in the hospital ER for withdrawal and I may end up with cirrhosis. There is no guarantee that my liver will make it through another relapse.
Sobriety gets better. And for some people, it's the only alternative to death.
Sobriety gets better. And for some people, it's the only alternative to death.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 11
ativan brand name, lorazapam chemical or trade name is a benzodiazapine that I truly feel eats up my brain the same as alcohol does its a proven to work on the same Gaba pathway as alcohol. It gives me the same impending feeling of doom upon withdrawl the fear, the shakes, the sweats the chills all of it but much harder on me then alcohol actually its like condensing a 10 year bender into like 5 months.
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