10 months as of today
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
sometimes it helps to try and be a fly on the wall as the situation plays out rather then get wrapped up into it personally. take a step back and think how is this gonna play and be the watcher not the dictator as they say.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hi Brenda, I went "no contact" with my family years ago. There was no other choice.
Huh. Today delivered one small gift and free soup. Interesting. I mean I ran into an old acquaintance who had caused me much pain... and they were pretty much a mess. And then free soup happened. Hm.
Huh. Today delivered one small gift and free soup. Interesting. I mean I ran into an old acquaintance who had caused me much pain... and they were pretty much a mess. And then free soup happened. Hm.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
HI and thank you a Croutie. Good to see you. I was at the store Trach and a kid just didn't feel like doing a price check so he gave me the soup for free.
I have to get a health issue checked tomorrow and I am practically breaking out in hives from anxiety. I haven't got anyone looking out for me in life so I have to handle everything myself, like always. It's really irritating because my BF who is truly a privileged man, in all areas of life yet ONLY finds fault in things gave me a "What do you expect" kind of response since I haven't taken the best care of myself. I mean yes I emerged somehow with no real life support AT ALL from being chemically addicted not only alcohol but benzos as we'll... That was really all I can handle for now... So I haven't been otherwise perfect... I'm merely human I can only handle so much and was given way more than I could really... Never mind that he has been obsese for years and was a habitual binge drinker and is probably an alcoholic too, like he used to drive drunk and even broke a leg with no memory of it IN HIS CAR. BUT he has a loving, caring family who staged an intervention. So he just drank at home and only binged on weekends. Is that how it is when you have an actual caring family.... I'll never know. Instead of thanking God that he has somehow preserved his health despite being overweight and obese and a binge drinker.... He just takes the time to criticize me. And is a GIANT baby about going to the doctor even though I have gone so many times these last two years it has nearly destroyed me. I was flush all day yesterday from anxiety and fatigued, today I just went right back to bed as soon as I was done taking care of some things for work. I mean a simple supportive word of his own accord would be amazing and then I'd just die of a heart attack from shock and never have to worry again and it would be a win for everyone.
I have to get a health issue checked tomorrow and I am practically breaking out in hives from anxiety. I haven't got anyone looking out for me in life so I have to handle everything myself, like always. It's really irritating because my BF who is truly a privileged man, in all areas of life yet ONLY finds fault in things gave me a "What do you expect" kind of response since I haven't taken the best care of myself. I mean yes I emerged somehow with no real life support AT ALL from being chemically addicted not only alcohol but benzos as we'll... That was really all I can handle for now... So I haven't been otherwise perfect... I'm merely human I can only handle so much and was given way more than I could really... Never mind that he has been obsese for years and was a habitual binge drinker and is probably an alcoholic too, like he used to drive drunk and even broke a leg with no memory of it IN HIS CAR. BUT he has a loving, caring family who staged an intervention. So he just drank at home and only binged on weekends. Is that how it is when you have an actual caring family.... I'll never know. Instead of thanking God that he has somehow preserved his health despite being overweight and obese and a binge drinker.... He just takes the time to criticize me. And is a GIANT baby about going to the doctor even though I have gone so many times these last two years it has nearly destroyed me. I was flush all day yesterday from anxiety and fatigued, today I just went right back to bed as soon as I was done taking care of some things for work. I mean a simple supportive word of his own accord would be amazing and then I'd just die of a heart attack from shock and never have to worry again and it would be a win for everyone.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by sleepie 
I see with more clarity every day it is nobody's, nobody's place to judge me unless they have walked in my shoes. I dare say I even feel good about myself every now and then.
I've also been just plan tuning out whatever/ whoever upsets me. It works. I see it as my mental health matters more.
I've also been just plan tuning out whatever/ whoever upsets me. It works. I see it as my mental health matters more.
Getting away from the "I."
Not judging.
Acceptance.
All of those things help me. I think I am getting better at it, and expect I'll always have room to improve because I'm not just an alcoholic- I'm simply human.
My biggest challenge is perhaps....impatience. Excitability? Wanting it "now"? Wondering what's coming? I don't know exactly how to explain it because, frankly, my life is 99% pink clouds (I even use pink as a thread in my current blog; there are obvious references to recovery throughout, if you pay attention) so I guess I'd say my biggest challenge is never getting over-confident. Maybe that is better said as having a little voice of caution and apprehension that keeps me so focused. I heed that voice daily by working such a hard program; that is something I can choose to do and I often say (usually when someone tells me how impressive my program is or such) that I just want to shore up as much as I can for whatever is to come.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,945
Originally Posted by sleepie
I would like to hear what is it like for everyone and how far are you in sobriety and what is your biggest challenge?
One day at a time....
My Biggest Challenge Honestly is... (Believe it or not)
NOT Turning my problem(s) OVER to my Higher Power
often enough..
Let go and Let God. (for me)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Ok I got a partial result. SIGH I am back in prediabetes territory despite losing weight and quitting drinking for 10 months. Figures. Also borderline anemic. Still waiting on other tests. There is no guarantee things will get better after quitting drinking. I had a feeling I wouldn't be in the clear despite my efforts.
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