teatreeoil007

Absolutely it's a horrible feeling! And, it creates MORE stress, doesn't it. Vicious cycle. Yes, it's time to put the bottle down or smash it, do whatever you need to do and yes, sometimes you do have to take some time off work just for you and who cares what "they" think...I mean, I understand that you are worried about what they think and how suspicious they might be, but there are many folks who do get it and have more understanding than we realize; maybe even been through something similar, you never know. I think it's terrible when these kinds of things cannot be okay to be talked about openly , there's so much stigma and it's 2016 for crying out loud. It'll be 2017 before we know it.

K66

And hello January

Windancer

Greetings and welcome K66!
You are taking the right and courageous first step in detoxing. I would suggest just dealing with that first and then when you are over the worst of it develop a solid yet simple plan and support system for sobriety (including this site of course...it is an extremely valuable tool full of support, insight, info and an outlet for you).

I would strongly recommend a supervised medical detox. I thought I'd be just fine doing it alone, and twice TERRIBLE and scary withdrawals came on VERY SUDDENLY and I landed myself in the hospital. It can be fatal, so the smartest and easiest way to detox is with medical help (and I despise going to the doctor or hospital). Alcohol withdrawal is unpredictable and is different for everyone. Even if you have gotten through it yourself fine before doesn't mean that will be the case this time. Try and eat small, healthy easy to digest foods. B-vitamins helped me a lot, and lots and lots of fluids.

Best of luck! I hope to hear an update from you soon

Quincy

Welcome K66. The first days are the toughest. If you can get some days under your belt you most likely will feel the anxiety subside and gain some clarity. Glad to hear you've been reading around this site, I think it really helps. Stay close and take care.

K66

I've literally been on it all day... reading everything I can and now posting ... its such a weight lifted to be speaking to people going through this and to be able to be brutally honest with what I've been keeping bottled up inside... pun intended lol (too soon??) Having the words flowing out makes the decision to refrain from pouring them back in with the drink...

teatreeoil007

Honesty is HUGE. It's huge in every facet of our lives, I think. It's when we are honest with ourselves ESPECIALLY that honesty will finally set us free from the TRAPS we find ourselves in.

K66

I'm a very honest person I hate lying which is why this has been weighing heavey on my mind for months....years even... but that little green monster pipes up when your starting to feel better and you convince yourself that the other symptoms are gone and bam... all of a sudden your justifying your return to your local store... thinking... this time it will be different or I'm just a hypochondriac. .. I'm sure I'm fine... pins and needles are normal...skin changes ... I need to eat better... more vitamins. .. anyone could sleep an entire 24 hours away.... that heavey feeling in your bladder will go away... I'm sacrificing my health and appearance for whisky? It doesn't keep me warm at night just rots your insides... I'm so happy I found this site...

CajunPrincess

Glad you're here. As someone else said, the first few days are the toughest. It gets better. Staying on this site daily has been a HUGE factor in maintaining my sobriety this time. I used to not be able to string together a couple days sober.

teatreeoil007

Whiskey is a ROTTEN companion! Better to have a dog or a cat, a bird, a fish, a pig...I don't know, some people are into reptiles....my in-laws rescued an Iquana once...you would have thought that animal walked on water the way they went on about it...hey, it gave them a good feeling to have rescued it so it is what it is...all lite humor aside...alcohol is a BAD companion, a BAD anti-depressant, a BAD tranquilizer, a BAD well, just fill in the _______ .

K66

I have a snake and a cat lol but I don't want to drink anymore... I used to drink wine...then one cold summer I switched to beer... then I noticed weight gain and freaked out so it went to vodka water... keep hydrated while drinking a lower cal beverage... 2 birds 1 stone... or maybe a more appropriate version of that... get 2 birds stoned at once... I've always had a love for shots but the vodka waters started turning into more shots less mixed ... then switched to whisky because my boyfriend prefers it to vodka and again I thought... less for me the better... but I'm done. ..I'm so done with all the negatives. ..including this insomnia...

Delilah1

Welcome KK, glad you have found SR, you will find lots of support on here.

Spending the day reading and posting sounds like it was a great use of time. You may want to join the October thread, you will be surrounded by others who are at the same point in their recovery journey. Also, checking in on the 24 hour thread each day can help you stay accountable and build new friendships.

For me it was really important to plan out every minute of the time I would normally be drinking during the first few weeks. I went to the gym, went for walks, planned things with my kids, read lots of books, both recovery and for fun, and took many relaxing bubble baths. Gradually not drinking became my new norm and the cravings got less and less

I will have nine months sober in about two hours after many previous short periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation. I can promise you that life is so much easier sober, I feel better mentally and physically, and my anxiety has lessened. Stressful days still happen, but dealing with them is much easier.

Getting sober sounds like a great way to start your 30s.

You can do this!!

❤️ Delilah

Algorithm

Once that monster is born, it doesn't usually die. It's not out to get you, but it doesn't much care for you or for your losses, either.

It is making you afraid of quitting, but you must sever from it in thought and deed, or it will destroy you in the end.

Despite its protestations, there is nothing to fear.

K66

Thank you so much for everything everyone... I wish I could have a bubble bath... my apartment only has a shower... and lay down showers are depressing enough... I gave them up... I'd kill for a bathtub 😦

teatreeoil007

Keep that sense of humor, girlfriend. It's good for what ails ya.

Every now and then this dark humor takes over in me when I least expect it to and sometimes I wonder if it's a bad sign that I might be more warped than I ever realized...

K66

Not to backpeddle at ALL but is it safer to ween yourself off rather then cold turkey? I know that must sound bad and i don't want to I just was wondering everyone's unique start to their journey. .

K66

After years of using comedy as a deflection avoiding the problem we may as well put our quick whit into the solution and healing and that feels like it's going to have dark times where laughter might not be as close as we'd like... so I'm going to laugh it up while I can... 😊😮😯😣

wildflower70

Hi K,

While it is somewhat "safer" to ween off by tapering the drinks down to none at all, I have tried this numerous times, and always went too far...again. Once the drink entered my system the the urge to continue was too strong. But, that is only my experience. You may have more willpower than I do. I went through 3 days of dehydration, night sweats, shaking, stomach problems, headaches. exhaustion, panic, and no desire to leave my apartment. I took 4 sick days at work, and started self care every hour. Tons of water, fruit, showers, brief walks, naps, and movies. On day 4 I returned to work, not 100% but manageable. I am now on day 17......with 0 symptoms and a new attitude toward my sobriety. You can do this!! I also had someone coming over a few times a day to check on me and bring more supplies (food, juice, soda, ect..)

Blessings on your journey!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum K66!!