Round 2...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: O'Fallon, Illinois
Posts: 4
Round 2...
Well, I slipped.
I ended up back into the cycle that I was in a year ago. I am back to Day 1 of sobriety. I feel a little defeated but more guilty. i know that I have let down my family members. I made it a whole year and chose now to be the time when I had to have a drink, well drinks. I let life get in the way.
It's going to be really rough with my family, that is to be expected. I can't make them not be hurt or upset, all I can do is be sober. I know that the first time I got sober, the way my family felt about me was a huge motivation for staying sober. In the beginning I know that I was getting sober for them.
Oh did I mention that I am a people pleaser.
This time around I am doing this for me. I don't want to drink, I relapse for about 2 weeks and after day 2, i honestly wanted to stop but that habit is so easy to pick back up. I wasn't drinking as much as I did at my worst but I was still drinking out of addiction.
Im not really sure what I'm trying to say here. i guess I just want to say hello and start talking to everyone.
I ended up back into the cycle that I was in a year ago. I am back to Day 1 of sobriety. I feel a little defeated but more guilty. i know that I have let down my family members. I made it a whole year and chose now to be the time when I had to have a drink, well drinks. I let life get in the way.
It's going to be really rough with my family, that is to be expected. I can't make them not be hurt or upset, all I can do is be sober. I know that the first time I got sober, the way my family felt about me was a huge motivation for staying sober. In the beginning I know that I was getting sober for them.
Oh did I mention that I am a people pleaser.
This time around I am doing this for me. I don't want to drink, I relapse for about 2 weeks and after day 2, i honestly wanted to stop but that habit is so easy to pick back up. I wasn't drinking as much as I did at my worst but I was still drinking out of addiction.
Im not really sure what I'm trying to say here. i guess I just want to say hello and start talking to everyone.
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Can't do it for other people. You have to do it for yourself. What you can do is show them the benefits of your sobriety.
What exactly happened that caused you to relapse after a year? Find the root cause so you don't repeat it.
What exactly happened that caused you to relapse after a year? Find the root cause so you don't repeat it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: O'Fallon, Illinois
Posts: 4
My AV was especially aggressive and I usually can work the thoughts out of my head. I have big positive changes coming in my life and I am moving in all these different directions. I just didn't stop and listen to myself saying that I was super anxious and overwhelmed. I just kept on going thinking that keeping myself busy would solve everything. It started with insomnia and then it snowballed into this. I have got to get ahold of my world and take the reigns back.
I know that my family is a huge source of stress and anxiety. I need there support but at the same time they are a source of some of my triggers. They will always be who they are so it is up to me to figure out the place that they have in my sober life. I know they want the best for me, but I have never told certain family the effect they have on me. Im not sure that I should say anything because it is not up to them to make sure that I stay sober.
Anyone ever move away to help provide a better sober life? Family pressure to stay sober?
I know that my family is a huge source of stress and anxiety. I need there support but at the same time they are a source of some of my triggers. They will always be who they are so it is up to me to figure out the place that they have in my sober life. I know they want the best for me, but I have never told certain family the effect they have on me. Im not sure that I should say anything because it is not up to them to make sure that I stay sober.
Anyone ever move away to help provide a better sober life? Family pressure to stay sober?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
My family was a great source of stress and anxiety for me too.
Once I took alcohol off the table as a solution, tho, I was forced to find other healthier ways to deal with them (mostly around changing my reactions, limiting my interactions and learning to rely on my gut rather than other peoples opinions etc )
So...geographic cures never really worked for me...whatever my triggers were, I was the problem really - and wherever I went there I was?
D
Once I took alcohol off the table as a solution, tho, I was forced to find other healthier ways to deal with them (mostly around changing my reactions, limiting my interactions and learning to rely on my gut rather than other peoples opinions etc )
So...geographic cures never really worked for me...whatever my triggers were, I was the problem really - and wherever I went there I was?
D
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Hi ChefC and welcome to the forum!
I had a relapse like yours -- after a year sober, I started with a binge & then just back to kind of a daily grind of "not enough to get blind but enough to feel lousy about."
I had to add something big to my plan. I don't know what it will be for you -- whatever you're not doing, start. Never been here before? -- dive in & join a class or another daily thread --Weekenders, 24 Hour -- heck, join them all! Not doing AA? -- start hanging out at meetings. Whatever, it's time to make a fresh commitment.
You can do this!
I had a relapse like yours -- after a year sober, I started with a binge & then just back to kind of a daily grind of "not enough to get blind but enough to feel lousy about."
I had to add something big to my plan. I don't know what it will be for you -- whatever you're not doing, start. Never been here before? -- dive in & join a class or another daily thread --Weekenders, 24 Hour -- heck, join them all! Not doing AA? -- start hanging out at meetings. Whatever, it's time to make a fresh commitment.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Chef
Congrats on 1 year. That is a big achievement.
I'm a people pleaser too. Funny how I'll drink....which is the antithesis of people pleasing! Its the ultimate in selfish so its pretty hard to reconcile with that people pleasing image of myself!
I live an unbalanced life. I'm either highly functioning (sober) or highly dysfunctioning (drunk). Nothing in-between. I realize that when I'm highly functioning I'm trying to do it all. Please everyone, do everything, get very little in return. This leaves me emotionally bankrupt. All withdrawals and no deposits. That's when I drink.
Like you I say things like " I have got to get ahold of my world and take the reigns back." What I have realized is that control is an illusion. I do have control over myself, my thinking, my emotions, my reactions and my behavior. That's pretty much it. The rest I have to let go of.
My daughter can be a trigger for me. But that's really not because of what she's doing. Its because of how I'm reacting to her....it is my choice how people effect me.
Have you ever thought of a program of recovery?
Congrats on 1 year. That is a big achievement.
I'm a people pleaser too. Funny how I'll drink....which is the antithesis of people pleasing! Its the ultimate in selfish so its pretty hard to reconcile with that people pleasing image of myself!
I live an unbalanced life. I'm either highly functioning (sober) or highly dysfunctioning (drunk). Nothing in-between. I realize that when I'm highly functioning I'm trying to do it all. Please everyone, do everything, get very little in return. This leaves me emotionally bankrupt. All withdrawals and no deposits. That's when I drink.
Like you I say things like " I have got to get ahold of my world and take the reigns back." What I have realized is that control is an illusion. I do have control over myself, my thinking, my emotions, my reactions and my behavior. That's pretty much it. The rest I have to let go of.
My daughter can be a trigger for me. But that's really not because of what she's doing. Its because of how I'm reacting to her....it is my choice how people effect me.
Have you ever thought of a program of recovery?
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