alwayscovering

While this is the very beginning of AH recovery another issue has popped up and I'm not sure what to do about it. (I want to say that pills have never been AH's thing. He hates them. I have a hard time getting him to take his cholesterol meds.)

My step son-age 14- has been telling us he's in pain after football(understandable since they spent hours practicing slamming into each other) and asks for "something to help" so we give him tylenol and tiger balm. Thursday when I handed him the tylenol, he said "don't you have anything to help loosen up my muscles" I said "sure I have some epsom salts, you can soak in the tub" His response was "don't you have a pill or something" I told him "No, I don't. I don't take pills." (I have control issues so I don't drink, do drugs or take pain meds.)

His mother has back problems and has told me in the past that she always has muscle relaxers for it(rare moment when she wasn't being crazy.) I think she's been giving them to SS. She's extremely high conflict so AH can't ask her, she'll deny it and it'll turn into a screaming fight.

I was thinking AH should take him to a doctor to see about a hair strand test. Is this reasonable? Should we go to his regular doctor or take him to different doctor for this? I'm not sure alerting his mother at this point is a good idea. If we take him to a different doctor unless SS tells her she won't know because AH carries the insurance.

Ariesagain

Can your husband ask him, in a casual way?

Muscle relaxants are usually given to address severe muscle spasms, certainly not generalized soreness in a healthy teen-ager. And they certainly can be addictive.

I was listening to sports radio yesterday and there was an interview with a former football player talking about his painkiller addiction, saying it started in high school...all those drugs were available to players. When he got sober, he was taking 65 full strength Vicodin a day from 12 different doctors. It was a powerful story.

Pointing him toward non-pill solutions was smart. He's lucky to have you in his life paying attention.

Bekindalways

Irk! Being a step-mom in that situations sounds super tough. Do you have any relationship with his coach? A talk about addictive meds might be better from the coach than you.

LexieCat

I wouldn't assume, because he was asking if you had pain meds, that he's abusing them already. If he knows there are pills that do relieve muscle pain, it's pretty normal to ask.

Did you ask your stepson why he asked? Whether he's been given them for muscle pain in the past?

Muscle relaxants do hare their uses. I'm alcoholic and have NEVER enjoyed the way pain pills make me feel EXCEPT when they are medically necessary and are actually relieving severe pain--I switch to ibuprofen the second I can because the pain meds make me feel woozy, not good.

Maybe a visit to a sports doc (someone you've checked out to be sure he doesn't casually prescribe unnecessary meds) would be in order.

alwayscovering

This is a new school (he's a freshman this year) I don't really know this coach. I'm sure I could call him or the athletic trainer and suggest they have a conversation with all the players about the dangers of taking pills and especially pills that don't belong to him...IDK

alwayscovering

I could be overreacting.

SS's mom doesn't make the best choices. Her and her husband have taken SS to a party in the middle of nowhere, where he was the only sober person caring for 4 small children (the children of his mom's friends) while all the adults were wasted-I have her admitting it. She stupidly used SS's phone to text her friends- we have teensafe on his phone to monitor his whereabouts. There was a blow up between her and AH over that one. As far as I know it hasn't happened since. She admitted to the mediator that she thinks it's no big deal to smoke pot while SS is home. So it really wouldn't surprise me that she's giving him her pills.

I could also be overreacting because I'm sensitive to the whole addiction thing because of AH.

IDK I just don't know what to do.

alwayscovering

Yea he just shrugged and said IDK. He always shuts down when you ask him stuff like that. I get he doesn't want to say anything bad about his mom. He has also been asking when we are going to move-AH tells him as soon as custody is sorted out.

dandylion

alwayscovering....I don't think you are over reacting.....It is good that you are aware of red flags.....He, like all kids, of this age are at an extremely critical age in their development.
Drugs are everywhere and are rampant, right now...all over this country....
Monitoring teen aged kids is so crutial....knowing where they go...knowing who they are hanging out with.....and, talking t them about the important subjects...even if they don't like it....lol....

I would suggest that you DO get involved with the coach or the other sports parents and organize a program of education for all the kids!
What a wonderful and useful thing to do.....
It would make you a great [Part of the "village".....

Have you thought of family counseling for you all? There are lots of changes and challenges going on that he has feelngs about--and, at this age, he is not likely to come spilling out with all of it. at the drop of a hat.....

alwayscovering

I am going to call the coach on Monday and find out if they have a drug education program for the athletes. I know they have one at the school but I wonder if they wouldn't benefit from a specific program for those that play sports, since they have frequent injuries and there is always the use of steroids.

dandylion

always covering...I think that is an excellent idea!
As they say----thinking outside of the box!

PuzzledHeart

Just another angle here. Taking pain killers as an athlete is always touchy stuff. One, well, you've got the addiction angle, but two, you're also silencing whatever information the pain is giving you. So if the pain is that bad for him, I would definitely follow Lexie's suggestion about a sports doc, but under the guise of "let's find out what's causing the muscle pain" as opposed to "let's make sure you're abusing drugs." If he's a serious athlete, he'll want to get to the bottom of this because he won't want to aggravate an injury (and if you're masking the pain with drugs, that's way too easy to do) to the point of being led to the sidelines, an injury that could have been addressed with some physical therapy/taping/form analysis if it was caught in the beginning.

I used to have plantar fasciitis and I popped ibuprofen like nobody's business. All it got me was a messed up gut, and when you're running distance that can be a major problem at both ends if you know what I mean. A simple switch to another sneaker brand, insoles, exercises, and a PF foot sleeve finally nipped it in the bud. But if I insisted on popping pills, I would have been stuck at square one.

Praying

Just to add my experience--

XAH is an alcoholic and also a pain pill addict. We've lived apart for over three years.

DS16 had neck pain the last few weeks (not sure if he tweaked it or slept on it wrong, but it took a while to get better).

He asked for something to help the pain, and after a couple of days of ibuprofen was asking for something stronger--don't they make something that can take the pain away?!? Muscle relaxers or a stronger painkiller?

He doesn't get those from anywhere--but he knew they existed and wondered why he shouldn't have them. We had a great conversation about why I try to go as long as possible without them so you don't rely on or end up abusing them.

So it's entirely possible that your SS just doesn't like the discomfort and feels like if there's a solution out there, why can't he just use it? That was my son's attitude. Kind of like needing a toothbrush and not grabbing one at the store--they don't always understand the reasoning.

BUT- in my son's case it was an acute injury, not chronic pain from training/practice.

fantail

14 is about the age when kids at my high school started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. The way he asked for the pills... "I'm sore" to "Something to help" to "No I mean to loosen my muscles"... that suggests to me that he knows not to ask out right for muscle relaxants but is deliberately trying to get them. It may be that his mother has given him some before or it may be that friends of his have pulled it off with their parents. I don't think at that age you can really say whether he got the idea at home or school. But my guess is that if he were naive about what he were asking he would have just said "Can I have a vicodin please?" rather than being clever about it.

alwayscovering

I appreciate all the additional points of view. I'm going to speak with AH about it when I get home from work.

SS isn't what I would consider to be a serious athlete. He's lazy and expects to be a winner because he suits up. I also don't think he's in serious pain. If he was we would have taken him to the doctor or the ER. On thursday when offered the tylenol or advil he didn't take it. He didn't do the epsom salt bath or use the tiger balm.

Maybe it's wrong to assume that his mom is giving it to him. She just makes questionable decisions so I automatically assumed it was her.

honeypig

I think there is a lot of this around, in people of all ages. I think a lot of it is due to a lack of information/education and also to marketing--think of all the people you see at the local 5K race, loaded down with gels and Gatorade for a half hour or less on the road.

As you say, serious athletic endeavors will definitely cause fatigue and soreness. Severe pain is one thing and should be taken seriously w/a trip to the doctor. Sore and tired muscles from a hard workout are kind of the status quo when training and yes, Tiger Balm, Epsom salts, heat/ice, stretching and rest are more appropriate than a pain pill or muscle relaxer.

I wish you luck in getting to the bottom of this, and I do hope that it's just a lack of understanding on his part rather than any actual experience w/pain pills.

Kissedbyfire

Hey Always,
I think you have some great advice on the table so I can't offer much more...
But I think this idea you have is a wonderful idea. Joining forces with his coach (possibly rose model) could really help the situation.

One thing I've learned from my experiences... children do learn a lot about drugs from their parents.

I used to take 6 ibuprofen at a time for cramps as a teenager... because that's what I had saw my Dad take for muscle and back pain.

My RAF took fist fulls of Tylenol w/ codeine because his mom is addicted to codeine and told her children normal Tylenol doesn't work.
His siblings are the same.

This topic came up a few days ago between RAF and I: 1 month ago I bought a bulk package from costco of Tylenol extra strength to keep in our medicine cabinet. It was 1 bottle of 350 pills and a bonus bottle of 100 pills. The bottle of 100 pills now only has 9 pills in it. I asked RAF about it and he said he has taken a few from the 'old little bottle,' but not very many. I told him that both bottles were new and 91 pills had gone missing from it over the course of one month, and I had personally taken four. He told me he's definitely taken less than 10 for headaches over the past month- probably less.
RAF's sister was over two weekends ago and asked me for Tylenol because she had a tooth ache. She told me that they were out of T1's and T3's at their house because her mom had taken them all and given some to a neighbour. I don't think over a weekend she had taken 80-90 pills... but there's a good chance she took most of my bottle home for her and her mom- without asking. I took the bottle of 350 and hid it in my room. Going forward when she comes over I'll be hiding our basket of pills (cold and sinus meds, advil, tylenol) in our room.

This is learned behaviour. When my Mom's friend (a big role model of mine) explained to me at a young age that a pill can solve one problem but create many more problems for your body- I never let that go. To this day I use medication out of urgency. I prefer natural therapy and home remedies.
My Dad didn't know that I watched him take 6 ibuprofen when I was just a child. He didn't know he taught me that it was okay.
My RAF's mom offers T1/T3 pills to all her kids as though they're vitamins. Two of her kids have suffered from pill addictions and my RAF took far too many pills but alcohol was his ultimate pain killer. I'm not sure his mom is aware of the damage she caused.

Knowledge along with good role models can be very powerful to our children.
You're doing good by your SS.

LexieCat

Kbf, Tylenol is a BIG no-no for alcoholics. Even for someone in early recovery. It's not that regular Tylenol is addictive or anything, but it's VERY toxic to the liver. I once prosecuted a guy who OD'd on alcohol and Tylenol when he was on his way to firebomb his g/f's house. He was comatose for weeks.

Until your husband has been sober for a long time (and had his liver function checked), he'd be smart to completely avoid Tylenol.

dandylion

Kissedbyfire....you make some good points.....
I would add that many "natural" remedies and supplements can also be toxic if taken incorrectly.....
Just because something is "natural or "over the counter" doesn't necessarily mean that it is safe or can be taken haphazardly.....but lots of the public don't know that.....

Kissedbyfire

That's true.
When I say natural I mean when I have a cold, I eat fresh garlic and have lemon-honey tea rather than tylenol cold and sinus because garlic and honey are natural antibiotics and lemon is soothing.
When I am feeling restless or overtired I drink chamomile tea rather than take a sleeping pill.
When I'm nauseous I boil ginger root.

But I definitely get what you guys are saying.

Lexie- is there anything my RAF can take in place of Tylenol for headaches?
He hasn't been taking many but gets headaches sometimes from 12 hour shifts breathing fumes along with heavy labour.

LexieCat

I'd suggest he talk to his doctor, let him know he's in recovery, and wants to be sure that any medications he takes (like Tylenol) are safe. A simple blood test can check his liver enzymes. If they are normal, then the doc will probably tell him it's safe to take Tylenol.