Finding it so exhausting
Thinking of you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 131
Reading Sarah Hepola, Blackout. An absolute must book to read for all the girls.
OTE=Lolly26;6115157]I have been looking at this site for over a year now and have made the decision to post. I find the constant morning detective work, finding new hiding places and just the day to day obsession so shattering. I am constantly looking at other women in shops and carparks etc, and marvelling that they dont seem to have at least a few bottles in their trolleys and bags, how do they survive without it ! But of course, I realise that its me thats askew and not them. Another family meal out probably ruined by me. I say probably as I am in the dark after the first hour. No amount of detective work this time has shed any light and like everyone else I am way too ashamed, proud, in denial to ask any one. I cant remember the last time I went out, enjoyed the evening and came home like a normal person. Really sick and tired of the whole situation and feel I am ready to take some responsibility for what is solely my problem.[/QUOTE]
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Don't give up Lolly. Stay on here.
It's hard to give up on willpower alone. Creating a plan makes a huge difference. Have a look at the link that Dee posted to. We've all been where you are. But a plan gives you the extra help to make it out.
The plan doesn't have to be long or complicated. But it helps to write down, for example:
- what triggers you to drink;
- how you will deal with those triggers;
- what things you can do every day, every week, every month that will shore up your sobriety (e.g. coming on SR, doing exercise, yoga, therapy, meditation, healthy eating ...);
- your "helplines" - numbers you can call when you need to - friends, family etc.;
- your motivation (mending family ties, being happier in your work, being healthier etc.);
- little tools including those you can find here on SR, like playing forward in your mind what will happen if you pick up that first drink;
- lists of helpful books and other sources, like the Hepola book you mentioned.
That's a general idea of what my plan looks like. Writing it down and identifying things made a difference to me.
You are not alone!
It's hard to give up on willpower alone. Creating a plan makes a huge difference. Have a look at the link that Dee posted to. We've all been where you are. But a plan gives you the extra help to make it out.
The plan doesn't have to be long or complicated. But it helps to write down, for example:
- what triggers you to drink;
- how you will deal with those triggers;
- what things you can do every day, every week, every month that will shore up your sobriety (e.g. coming on SR, doing exercise, yoga, therapy, meditation, healthy eating ...);
- your "helplines" - numbers you can call when you need to - friends, family etc.;
- your motivation (mending family ties, being happier in your work, being healthier etc.);
- little tools including those you can find here on SR, like playing forward in your mind what will happen if you pick up that first drink;
- lists of helpful books and other sources, like the Hepola book you mentioned.
That's a general idea of what my plan looks like. Writing it down and identifying things made a difference to me.
You are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 166
You can start over right now, Lolly! This very second. I can't tell you how many times I committed myself to quitting drinking only to pick up later on that very same day. One day, for whatever reason, something just clicked and I was done. I've been sober ever since.
Dee posted a great link about recovery plans. You need a plan! Without one you've no way to combat your normal habits and ways of thinking. So dust yourself off, get a plan, don't beat yourself up, and try again. We're all rooting for you!
Dee posted a great link about recovery plans. You need a plan! Without one you've no way to combat your normal habits and ways of thinking. So dust yourself off, get a plan, don't beat yourself up, and try again. We're all rooting for you!
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