Put in the application
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 179
Put in the application
Filled out the online application for the townhouse that I love. Please pray that everything works out as it should. I have a few details to tie up, but already have appointments for those scheduled.
I decided that I will just scrimp and save up for the next 6 weeks (apt will be ready mid-oct) so I can hire a couple movers for the big stuff. That was causing me anxiety and now that problem is solved.
I hope my bk from 7 yrs ago doesn't stop me from getting the place. It usually does not. Now that I am focused on the home, I want it!!
Getting away from the A is becoming more fathomable by the minute. I can barely sleep thinking about just being free.
Please say a quick prayer that everything works out for me!
I decided that I will just scrimp and save up for the next 6 weeks (apt will be ready mid-oct) so I can hire a couple movers for the big stuff. That was causing me anxiety and now that problem is solved.
I hope my bk from 7 yrs ago doesn't stop me from getting the place. It usually does not. Now that I am focused on the home, I want it!!
Getting away from the A is becoming more fathomable by the minute. I can barely sleep thinking about just being free.
Please say a quick prayer that everything works out for me!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 179
Thanks. I am having a problem with my mother, ugh. I tell her I am moving and it causes us to fight. She thinks I should just stay and lock out the bf. It infuriates her that he is causing me to spend money to move. I ended up yelling at her this morning that it is my decision. I wonder where my constant guilt comes from and the feeling that I am making the wrong decision, even if it feels right to ME.
I so cannot wait to get out of this house to get as far away from the xA as fast as I can. I want a new feeling. Last time he moved out, he drove around the complex 'checking on me', sent me all kinds of crazy texts, showed up to do his laundry even when I wasn't home and asked him not to. I just want OUT.
I want a new life for my son in a new house, with new feelings. I showed him the place last night and he was soooo excited. It was cute. He told me he loved me as we were walking away. I do not want to subject my son to this crap anymore. It is so hard for me to communicate with my mom on it. She is different than I am. She does things different and takes care of them differently.
I don't think the xA had any intention of leaving. He still hasn't found a place. He is also mad now that he knows I took our son to see the place. I don't care, I am just ignoring him to the best of my ability. Working on moving forward.
Just had to vent.
I so cannot wait to get out of this house to get as far away from the xA as fast as I can. I want a new feeling. Last time he moved out, he drove around the complex 'checking on me', sent me all kinds of crazy texts, showed up to do his laundry even when I wasn't home and asked him not to. I just want OUT.
I want a new life for my son in a new house, with new feelings. I showed him the place last night and he was soooo excited. It was cute. He told me he loved me as we were walking away. I do not want to subject my son to this crap anymore. It is so hard for me to communicate with my mom on it. She is different than I am. She does things different and takes care of them differently.
I don't think the xA had any intention of leaving. He still hasn't found a place. He is also mad now that he knows I took our son to see the place. I don't care, I am just ignoring him to the best of my ability. Working on moving forward.
Just had to vent.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by letitend 
Please say a quick prayer that everything works out for me!
Just a few miles east of you (as you probably know).
San Diego is a beautiful place.
M-Bob
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Sounds like you need to set a strong boundary with your Mom. You can say something like this: "Mom, I know you only have my best interests at heart. I appreciate and value your opinion, but I've made my decision based upon what is most important to me, and if you can't talk to me without getting upset about it or arguing with me about it, then we'll have to wait to talk until you can do that."
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
letitend....I don't know your other or any of the dynamics of y our all's relationship....but, I will tell you what helped me a WHOLE LOT with my own mother. Thankfully, I moved to another state after my college years...or it would have meant constant scrutiny and lots of judgement calls on my various activities or life style.....I loved my extended family soool much..but, I can, now see what an advantage I had by living a bit further away.....
(lol..I am NOT saying you should move away!)
However....I operated more o n the "need to know" basis. What did they NEED to know? I only reported major decisions after the fact! "Mom, I am getting a divorce".....Mom, I am moving to a new house...the moving date is next Friday"....."I have been accepted into a graduate program"....
"I broke up with my boyfriend"....."I traded in my car"....
We could , then, talk about the other things in our lives.....no fighting over my decisions.....
(lol..I am NOT saying you should move away!)
However....I operated more o n the "need to know" basis. What did they NEED to know? I only reported major decisions after the fact! "Mom, I am getting a divorce".....Mom, I am moving to a new house...the moving date is next Friday"....."I have been accepted into a graduate program"....
"I broke up with my boyfriend"....."I traded in my car"....
We could , then, talk about the other things in our lives.....no fighting over my decisions.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob
Just sent out a prayer for you from Lakeside.
M-Bob
M-Bob
And YES, San Diego is beautiful. It's been an awesome summer. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers. All will be OK. I am confident in that.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 179
UPDATE: I am APPROVED for the place. WOOOOHOO.
The manager is even going to wait until after 9/8/16 to make sure my son's appointment at the doctor's goes well before I have to sign the lease. Basically I have to take care of a medical appointment to ensure that my son can get into school in a new school district if needed. That should go OK. So if that happens how it is planned, then everything is rolling forward.
I had anticipated being free of the A 9/1/16, but I can handle 10/8/16 (targeted move-in date).
As long as there is an end in sight, I CAN DO this.
The manager is even going to wait until after 9/8/16 to make sure my son's appointment at the doctor's goes well before I have to sign the lease. Basically I have to take care of a medical appointment to ensure that my son can get into school in a new school district if needed. That should go OK. So if that happens how it is planned, then everything is rolling forward.
I had anticipated being free of the A 9/1/16, but I can handle 10/8/16 (targeted move-in date).
As long as there is an end in sight, I CAN DO this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
CONGRATS!
Hey, I just noticed that it was 1 year ago today that I was moving out from XABF, and you brought me back to that last month.
The last month I had with him there was trying, and miserable, and sad, and happy and freeing. I hope you embrace ALL of those emotions knowing beyond a shadow of all doubt that you are doing the right thing!
Hey, I just noticed that it was 1 year ago today that I was moving out from XABF, and you brought me back to that last month.
The last month I had with him there was trying, and miserable, and sad, and happy and freeing. I hope you embrace ALL of those emotions knowing beyond a shadow of all doubt that you are doing the right thing!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 179
Firebolt - I feel myself cycling thru all those feelings. I occasionally traverse thru the FOG, but pull myself out of it. Many times, he opens his mouth and triggers me to retreat out of the FOG quickly and without mercy.
It surely is emotional combat, that's for sure.
Thanks for all the support my SR friends. My life would not be where it is today without you all.
It surely is emotional combat, that's for sure.
Thanks for all the support my SR friends. My life would not be where it is today without you all.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
That is AWESOME news. Yes--when you can see light at the end of the tunnel, it makes everything more bearable.
I'm happy-dancing right with ya!
I'm not quite clear on the school situation--is it not clear whether your son would have to change districts? Wish there were some way to avoid the change after school starts...
I'm happy-dancing right with ya!
I'm not quite clear on the school situation--is it not clear whether your son would have to change districts? Wish there were some way to avoid the change after school starts...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 179
Lexie - My son is OK for now. He will stay at his school for the time being. I don't want to go into too many details as it is off topic. But the appointment will allow me to enroll him in a new district in the event a transfer is denied. The place I am moving to is close enough to his school (and my mom is going to take him), but it is in a different school district than he is currently enrolled in. The doctor's appointment will ensure I can get him into school in any district. 
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Gotcha. I had some complications, myself, with my older son's education. Yeah, no doubt he will be fine, either way. It's actually somewhat less complicated, I think, at his age--the social arrangements are a bit looser at that stage of the game. 
I'm so glad he's excited about it. I remember my younger son (who was about that age when I got my own place, though he stayed with his dad for his primary residence) running across the living room, and leaping onto the new sofa (the only item I had in there at that point), stretching out with his hands behind his head and his legs propped, saying, "It doesn't get any better than this!" (He's quite the comedian--still.)
I'm so glad he's excited about it. I remember my younger son (who was about that age when I got my own place, though he stayed with his dad for his primary residence) running across the living room, and leaping onto the new sofa (the only item I had in there at that point), stretching out with his hands behind his head and his legs propped, saying, "It doesn't get any better than this!" (He's quite the comedian--still.)
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