Fear
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
Some of my tricks:
1) I reframe my anxiety. So when I think to myself "I am nervous. I feel anxious", my inner voice says: This means I care about the outcome. A person who cares about the outcome will most likely do a better job than a person who doesn't give a flying hoot. If I'm nervous/anxious, that means I can use that energy to take care of this.
2) I think to myself: If I really bomb this one, this is going to make a GREAT story.
And I listen to this one just for reference.
Tragedy Minus Comedy Equals Time. | This American Life
3) I think about all the other times I screwed up and I think, I'm still here.
4) I look up at the stars, and think that eventually this will pass.
5) I hike challenging trails. There's no room to feel anxiety, because if I muck up, I'll be 300 feet below.
1) I reframe my anxiety. So when I think to myself "I am nervous. I feel anxious", my inner voice says: This means I care about the outcome. A person who cares about the outcome will most likely do a better job than a person who doesn't give a flying hoot. If I'm nervous/anxious, that means I can use that energy to take care of this.
2) I think to myself: If I really bomb this one, this is going to make a GREAT story.
And I listen to this one just for reference.
Tragedy Minus Comedy Equals Time. | This American Life
3) I think about all the other times I screwed up and I think, I'm still here.
4) I look up at the stars, and think that eventually this will pass.
5) I hike challenging trails. There's no room to feel anxiety, because if I muck up, I'll be 300 feet below.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 430
I really like this thread even if I did make some of you pee your pants. 
Other people's comments about having assumed their A was their protector reminds me that I used to think the same. Then, after moving out it, I realized just how few of the things I thought he would do he actually did. Even taking out the trash, for crying out loud. I started doing it myself because he would only empty the main kitchen garbage can, and often he would forget to do that. But when I started doing it . . . what a blow to his manhood! Apparently my taking out the trash meant I was criticizing him, whereas I thought I was just . . . emptying the trash.
But, my real point is, if I were to list all of the ways he protected and helped me and our children, vs. all of the ways his behavior made us feel less secure, well, the teeter-totter is so lopsided it will never get off the ground.
Other people's comments about having assumed their A was their protector reminds me that I used to think the same. Then, after moving out it, I realized just how few of the things I thought he would do he actually did. Even taking out the trash, for crying out loud. I started doing it myself because he would only empty the main kitchen garbage can, and often he would forget to do that. But when I started doing it . . . what a blow to his manhood! Apparently my taking out the trash meant I was criticizing him, whereas I thought I was just . . . emptying the trash.
But, my real point is, if I were to list all of the ways he protected and helped me and our children, vs. all of the ways his behavior made us feel less secure, well, the teeter-totter is so lopsided it will never get off the ground.
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