I dont want to drink tonight
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
I dont want to drink tonight
Day 2. I feel better and that's a dangerous time for me. It's also my son's 18th bday and we are celebrating at a restaurant/pub tonight. I'm really nervous about going I know it sounds silly but I don't even know why people go out to dinner without drinking. For me that's always the whole point.
I don't want my AV to win. I know alcohol is poison for me.
I don't want my AV to win. I know alcohol is poison for me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
I have found in the past it always helped to be prepared for the situation that can potentially be a trigger.- don't just wing it yunno? It is okay if you need to step outside for as long as it takes for you to take a deep breath and talk yourself through the situation. Also, can you tell your family that is going to the restaurant that you are feeling concerned that can stand beside you and give you there support- it also helps to keep you accountable if you tell everyone that is going to be there that you aren't drinking, that you on Day 2 and that you are at a time where you could really use some accountability by your family. Also, is it at all possible to ask those who are going to the dinner to not order alcohol? The dinner is for your son and he is not old enough to order a drink so it isn't like you would be putting a damper on his evening since he won't be drinking anyway.
If in the end you really feel like you are not able to go to the dinner without drinking then remind yourself that it is okay to not go to the dinner. I am sure that if you were to tell your son why you can't go- if you are honest- will not ruin his day. Any child would rather have a parent that is sober and not coming to dinner to continue their recovery then to have a parent that is an alcoholic drinking and potentially becoming quite drunk and not there for him.
You can do this! Just take it hour by hour if that is what it takes or take a step back and decide if this is a safe situation for you and if not, that it is okay not to go.
Your recovery ALWAYS comes first because if it doesn't, all other aspects of our life go to hell.
If in the end you really feel like you are not able to go to the dinner without drinking then remind yourself that it is okay to not go to the dinner. I am sure that if you were to tell your son why you can't go- if you are honest- will not ruin his day. Any child would rather have a parent that is sober and not coming to dinner to continue their recovery then to have a parent that is an alcoholic drinking and potentially becoming quite drunk and not there for him.
You can do this! Just take it hour by hour if that is what it takes or take a step back and decide if this is a safe situation for you and if not, that it is okay not to go.
Your recovery ALWAYS comes first because if it doesn't, all other aspects of our life go to hell.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Well done Eliasson - i was going to say maybe you can leave after the meal and let your son stay on there with some others (friends etc) then I remembered that the legal drinking age is 21 in the US. Even so maybe you could leave after a decent amount of time
And make sure you always have a non alcoholic drink to hand
And make sure you always have a non alcoholic drink to hand
don't go if you don't think you can handle it there will be a lot of emphasis on drinking because he's 18 & I'm sure he'd understand?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Corinth, TX
Posts: 490
Yes thank you! My son is just 18 and not a drinker anyway, but lots of the adults are drinkers, including my husband.
I want this so badly. I never want to cry myself to sleep or feel the shame and physical pain I felt yesterday. I'll do whatever it takes.
As it is my husband invited heavy drinking friends over after the dinner. I let him know I will be going to bed when we get home as I have to get up very early for work.
I can do this.
I want this so badly. I never want to cry myself to sleep or feel the shame and physical pain I felt yesterday. I'll do whatever it takes.
As it is my husband invited heavy drinking friends over after the dinner. I let him know I will be going to bed when we get home as I have to get up very early for work.
I can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
Sucks that husband doesn't understand the importance of support right now 
I support your idea of heading to the bedroom. I think if asked it is also fine with being honest saying being around drinking behaviors and alcohol isn't helpful to you right now.
I support your idea of heading to the bedroom. I think if asked it is also fine with being honest saying being around drinking behaviors and alcohol isn't helpful to you right now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 60
Originally Posted by Eliasson 
It's definitely harder not having his support. But this will kill me if I continue.
He doesn't have to live in my body or my head. I have to do this for me.
He doesn't have to live in my body or my head. I have to do this for me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Great job! You should be proud of yourself!!! It's these small victories that build your confidence, resolve and "sober muscles." Ironically, the first time I went to a restaurant where I knew people would be drinking was on my triplets' 19th birthday. My mom and dad drink, but not a lot, esp my mom. She'll have one glass of wine and that's it. It was no big deal -- I ordered a non-alcohol beer (I can only drink one!) and then an iced tea.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
