Note to Self
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 197
Absolutely love this. The difference in every aspect of life (energy, self esteem, clarity) is night and day between drinking the previous day or not. My biggest trigger is after work too. Hang in there - I hope you (and me, and everyone else here) never has to feel the dread, shame, self-loathing, regret, or anxiety again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 169
Hey thanks guys. I did make it through 2 and am on to day 3. Glad people like my note, wasn't sure how to get it through to myself that I feel so rotten in the morning/daytime. I really can't remember come evening. So far this is helping me. Alarm goes off every day around five.
I don't feel the best today (def better than after drinking of course)... didn't sleep for sh*t last night, nightmares when I did. The uneasy panic/anxiety feelings that are so strong for me in the night time, when I'm all alone with my thoughts and everyone else is asleep. I feel terrified and like I'm going insane. I'm sure you all can relate.
I'm also driving myself nuts right now because I am losing memories of living in Europe (I moved back to the states a couple of years ago) I cherish that time so much and am doing exercises to retain some of my German, studying maps and the underground/public transport in Vienna ... stuff like that keeps me busy at work (so much down time). Makes me feel a little better... I don't want to lose that part of my life.
Going to try some things to help me relax tonight... hopefully that will promote better sleep. I am thinking some reading, meditation, stretches. I have trazodone but I don't really want to take them. Any tricks out there from people that get racing thoughts at bed time?
Man these first few days feel like years. Looking forward to getting back on a roll.
I don't feel the best today (def better than after drinking of course)... didn't sleep for sh*t last night, nightmares when I did. The uneasy panic/anxiety feelings that are so strong for me in the night time, when I'm all alone with my thoughts and everyone else is asleep. I feel terrified and like I'm going insane. I'm sure you all can relate.
I'm also driving myself nuts right now because I am losing memories of living in Europe (I moved back to the states a couple of years ago) I cherish that time so much and am doing exercises to retain some of my German, studying maps and the underground/public transport in Vienna ... stuff like that keeps me busy at work (so much down time). Makes me feel a little better... I don't want to lose that part of my life.
Going to try some things to help me relax tonight... hopefully that will promote better sleep. I am thinking some reading, meditation, stretches. I have trazodone but I don't really want to take them. Any tricks out there from people that get racing thoughts at bed time?
Man these first few days feel like years. Looking forward to getting back on a roll.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 169
I don't want to post. I have to start over. I thought I needed to do an experiment last night. Well I got my result. And it's that I still don't know how to drink, never will I ever learn. I hope I can accept that. I don't know that I do. I don't like that answer. I want to accept it. I want it to be okay with me. Why am I fighting with myself about this? I am unhappy drinking or not, but more unhappy with the drink. Knowing that doesn't always help me make the right choice. Reading my note to self doesn't always work. I don't have much faith in myself any longer.
I was an ass last night. I don't want to say what I did, but I am lucky to still have a boyfriend and a home.
He came home with a handle of rum, and when I said I wanted to try having ONE drink, he told me to read my note. I insisted in the experiment. And now here I am. I can't blame him for my drinking, and it is HIS home. But I wonder if it would be a little easier not having alcohol in the house. I have def gone out to get it myself if I am determined to drink... but odds might be better.... eh oh well I can't ask him to change his ways just because I have a problem.
I don't want to post anymore. I might go away. Sorry.
I was an ass last night. I don't want to say what I did, but I am lucky to still have a boyfriend and a home.
He came home with a handle of rum, and when I said I wanted to try having ONE drink, he told me to read my note. I insisted in the experiment. And now here I am. I can't blame him for my drinking, and it is HIS home. But I wonder if it would be a little easier not having alcohol in the house. I have def gone out to get it myself if I am determined to drink... but odds might be better.... eh oh well I can't ask him to change his ways just because I have a problem.
I don't want to post anymore. I might go away. Sorry.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
I always run away when I start drinking. I find a new group to go to and am too ashamed to show my face. I wish I had the courage to keep coming back wether I choose to drink or not. I would continue to post because you are letting alcohol win by not. I am just shy of a month and I have literally had to hide from alcohol and refuse to be around it. Keep your head up!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
You shouldn't ask your boyfriend to change because you have a problem but at the same time if he doesn't have one wouldn't he mind not drinking around you? My mom asked me the other day if I minded if she drank beer during a garage sale at my house. I said yes I mind and that she could do that on her own time! She still doesn't get that I have a drinking problem but it's very important to not expose ourselves so early in the game.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 980
IMHO, it may not be right for you to ask your boyfriend to not drink in his own home. But if he cares at all about your sobriety, he shouldn't be doing it in your face either. It's hard enough to muster the strength to quit. I think I might be questioning his motives for him to bring this home and in your face on day 2.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
Just to put the other side of the argument: my house has been a dry one for years.
I think I have a right to feel secure and lay down rules in my own home.
That being said - if it's your boyfriends home too, you're going to have to work that out Brittany.
Many people here live with drinking spouses but stay sober - it doesn't have to be a deal breaker if you have the commitment and the support to help you follow it through
D
I think I have a right to feel secure and lay down rules in my own home.
That being said - if it's your boyfriends home too, you're going to have to work that out Brittany.
Many people here live with drinking spouses but stay sober - it doesn't have to be a deal breaker if you have the commitment and the support to help you follow it through
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
I think you can ask for anything - but you can't expect to always get what you want.
You could ask your BF if the house can be alcohol free in the interim while you get your sober sea legs
. If he says no, well then, you might have to figure out what that means for you in staying sober.
You could ask your BF if the house can be alcohol free in the interim while you get your sober sea legs
. If he says no, well then, you might have to figure out what that means for you in staying sober.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
You'll start to like yourself again!!!! It's worth it!!! Try to sit with the discomfort and distract yourself with anything but alcohol or drugs - ice cream, good tv, music, a fun book, a project, clean out a closet, sleep, a nice bath - whatever you want, just don't drink! You can do it!!!
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