the inbetween
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 73
the inbetween
The neighbors across the street are having a fun summer party. I lasted about two hours and had to leave because I started to feel uncomfortable with everyone drinking around me. I'm sitting in my living room looking at all of the cars across the street and all of the kids (including my son) are playing soccer, there will soon be a bonfire going, And here I am. Feeling a little bit sorry for myself. It's not the fact that I can't drink. I'm choosing not to drink. But I guess I don't have enough sober time under my belt to feel comfortable not drinking at a party. Right now I don't know who I am or what I want to be. I am just a human being that chose to leave a party. I am just a person who wants to better myself. I want to stay away from alcohol because alcohol made me feel bad about myself. Maybe that's all I need to think about. I feel sad right now. I can't exactly put my finger on why, I think it's a lot of things having to do with the long history of drinking, the hope for a sober future, and mostly the inbetween.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
It does feel strange to me too - acknowledging my powerlessness over alcohol once I have that first drink, and understanding that this makes me different than others.
That said, Im sure you are a good and fun person in sobriety and that your neighbors would enjoy you, just as you are - sober, clear headed, present. I think it does take time for us to feel confident in that, though - and to not feel like we are "missing out".
Try to get into a cool movie, or take a bubble bath, or read some posts here on SR -
That said, Im sure you are a good and fun person in sobriety and that your neighbors would enjoy you, just as you are - sober, clear headed, present. I think it does take time for us to feel confident in that, though - and to not feel like we are "missing out".
Try to get into a cool movie, or take a bubble bath, or read some posts here on SR -
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 626
You did a very good thing by exiting the situation before you became tempted or too uncomfortable. I know it's not an easy thing to do, especially when it's right in your front yard. Just know tomorrow you will feel great and continue to be on your way to that place we are all looking for.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Give yourself a little time Val - I'm assuming like me you drank for years...it takes a little time for sobriety to fit...
I guarantee in time that not only will you be able to go anywhere and do anything but that you will prefer being a non drinker
D
I guarantee in time that not only will you be able to go anywhere and do anything but that you will prefer being a non drinker
D
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I can almost assure you that feeling will go away in time. A bonfire and some good friends was pure heaven for me for many years. One thing that may help is that some people at that bonfire right now are questioning their drinking habits, but can't bring themselves to address it.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
I can relate to your post, Val. I wasn't strong enough to be around alcohol in early recovery. I had to stay home from a party and remember feeling pitiful. lol
I think you did remarkably well this evening! I wouldn't have lasted 2 hours.
You did good!!
I think you did remarkably well this evening! I wouldn't have lasted 2 hours.
You did good!!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
I can relate to your feeling, tomorrow a coworker is having a housewarming party and I want to go to see the new house and not be a stick in the mud recluse in sobriety, however she's a pretty heavy drinker and I just don't want to be pressured and even though I won't drink I know I'll be dwelling on why I can't drink for days after,even though I don't want to,I felt that way on the 4th of July too,didn't drink but kept thinking about all the others having"fun" grrrr,stinks to be an addict
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,507
Val - you expressed it beautifully. I well remember those first few months of resentment & the feeling of missing out. I was very grateful to be sober & free - but there was a period of adjustment. I drank 30 yrs. It was such a part of everything I did. Today, I rarely think of it. You're doing great.
You're doing great.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
No, we can't drink... I don't know about you guys, but I wasn't a pretty sight when I did. I'm much happier missing a party, then wondering how I embarrassed myself in a drunken stupor.
I can hold my head up, not avoid looking people in the eye.
I can hold my head up, not avoid looking people in the eye.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
Val, I remember the feelings of not knowing who I was and feeling very alone in early sobriety. I promise you it will get better and you will get to a place where you can be at a neighborhood party and not care a bit that you are missing alcohol.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by luvmygirls 
How long have you been sober? I can totally relate to your feelings of...self-imposed isolation...although I'm only 55 days in, so I'm hoping it will change. It sounds like it will.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by thomas11
I can almost assure you that feeling will go away in time. A bonfire and some good friends was pure heaven for me for many years. One thing that may help is that some people at that bonfire right now are questioning their drinking habits, but can't bring themselves to address it.
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