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Old 08-01-2016, 10:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
I'd say that in the uk most people who go to AA aren't religious. It's a higher power of their own understanding. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's not yourself. There are all kinds of ideas out there. Nature, science, Great Out Doors, Good Orderly Direction, Group Of Drunks, I-dont-know-but-its-not-me, etc. etc. etc.
Ok thanks I haven't really looked in to it properly. So maybe that's what I need to do to make an informed decision if it's for me or not. I think I could use some support from like minded people. Not sure I could get until kids are back at school. But definitely worth considering
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Old 08-01-2016, 03:20 PM
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It can't hurt to check it out Oswin

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Old 08-04-2016, 02:33 AM
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Day 18, feeling a lot less down. Still feeling tired but that's not as bad as it was. Set myself some personal goals that I want to achieve in the next few years and that's helped me focus on the future. I can't achieve these goals if I go back to drinking.

I've cut down on the sugar as the cravings not as bad now and I think it was making me feel rough. I was going a bit mad on it. Trying to eat healthier and look after myself now.

Read a lot on here about looking after your own sobriety and letting others look after theirs. Which has helped me deal with my DH and other people's drinking. It's up to them if they choice to get sober and I'm just going to walk away if they get to an annoying level of drunkeness. I am concerned with my DH's health a he is diabetic, with high BP and cholesterol and shouldn't drink on the meds he's on. But I know he isn't going to quit. Hopefully me being sober will have a positive affect on his drinking. But me nagging especially after the amount I used to drink is not going to change anything.

I read on a thread on SR the comment I love drinking, but I love my children more. This has really hit home with me. I want to be fit and healthy and be around for my kids. My friend died from cancer this year at 56 leaving her husband, 2 daughters in their 20s and a grandaughter of 3. She fought cancer for years to try and be here for them and there was me living in a half dead state not appreciating the life I am lucky enough to still have.

So feeling determined and positive today.
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Old 08-04-2016, 08:46 AM
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It does get better and it will get easier. Hate to say it, it just takes time. Keep posting. Keep asking. Keep reading. Keep pushing. Keep going.
(Hug)!
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Old 08-04-2016, 10:02 AM
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Congrats Oswin
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Old 08-08-2016, 02:12 AM
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Had a very draining weekend. Surrounded by drinking and drinkers. I'm not going to say it's been easy and I definitely have had moments where my AV has been working overtime to pusuade me to join in.

I didn't though and I learned some good coping skills to stay sober.

Off to Ireland at the weekend where will be surrounded by drinking again. But I do get to meet my baby nephew for the first time and my sister in law won't be drinking loads so least will be in good company.

The thing I found hardest was when I drink I can carry on until the early hours. Sober I was so tired. But obviously had to stay awake as it was my house.
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Old 08-08-2016, 02:22 AM
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I'm glad you're staying committed Oswin

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Old 08-08-2016, 03:31 AM
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You got this Oswin
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Old 08-08-2016, 03:58 AM
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AA also has online meetings. It's called Intherooms.com. I signed up and a really nice guy called me back to welcome me. That couple possibly work for you and your social anxiety.
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Old 08-08-2016, 04:24 AM
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Originally Posted by PrinzessinD View Post
AA also has online meetings. It's called Intherooms.com. I signed up and a really nice guy called me back to welcome me. That couple possibly work for you and your social anxiety.
Thanks I will have a look :o)
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Old 08-10-2016, 04:03 PM
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DH is pissed again and zonked out again. This was our life together and although I'm still fighting to stay off that merry go round. His constant drunk digs at me are exhausting as I don't bite because I know he's drunk. Next day he doesn't remember.

I can hardly comment on his drinking ās I was doing the same 24 days ago. But he seems to think I just give up and I become some sort of boring old prude because I'm sober. He's helping me not drink because no way I want to act like such arse
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Old 08-10-2016, 06:37 PM
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listen to Bea M., she's hilarious (I thought she was!)
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Old 08-11-2016, 03:44 AM
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Old 08-11-2016, 05:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Oswin View Post
The thing I found hardest was when I drink I can carry on until the early hours. Sober I was so tired. But obviously had to stay awake as it was my house.
What?!?!? You mean EVERYONE doesn't stay up until 3am on the weekends getting rip-roaring drunk?
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Old 08-11-2016, 06:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Oswin View Post
I'm not sure about AA for a couple of reasons one being my anxiety and one being the fact I am not religious. I think I would feel a bit of a hypocrite. I do appreciate your help and advice
im not religious either but have been sober 11+ years through aa.
AA really isnt a religious program, just spiritual.
it would be hard to call it religious when i sit at a meeting with a catholic, buddhist,jew, muslim, athiest, christian...the list goes on.

i think many of us have that anxiety, which i found tbrough working tbe program to be fear- low self esteem and thought people viewed me like i viewed myself- hopeless,helpless, useless, and worthless.
that was a misconception- both about how i and others viewed me.
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Old 08-11-2016, 06:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Oswin View Post
Ok thanks I haven't really looked in to it properly. So maybe that's what I need to do to make an informed decision if it's for me or not.
its very refreshing to read someone who has never been to aa or read any of the literature to investigate and understand what its about before deciding to not consider it.

along with online meetings, you can also read the big book online for free and even order a copy. the first 164 pages lay out the program and after that are personal stories.
i still get amazed reading personal stories and reading me in others.
and reading the first 164 pages and reading medescribed very good, even though it was published 28 years before i was born.
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Old 08-11-2016, 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post

im not religious either but have been sober 11+ years through aa.
AA really isnt a religious program, just spiritual.
it would be hard to call it religious when i sit at a meeting with a catholic, buddhist,jew, muslim, athiest, christian...the list goes on.

i think many of us have that anxiety, which i found tbrough working tbe program to be fear- low self esteem and thought people viewed me like i viewed myself- hopeless,helpless, useless, and worthless.
that was a misconception- both about how i and others viewed me.
I don't really know why I thought it was religious. I really have been a bit blinkered
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Old 08-11-2016, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post

its very refreshing to read someone who has never been to aa or read any of the literature to investigate and understand what its about before deciding to not consider it.

along with online meetings, you can also read the big book online for free and even order a copy. the first 164 pages lay out the program and after that are personal stories.
i still get amazed reading personal stories and reading me in others.
and reading the first 164 pages and reading medescribed very good, even though it was published 28 years before i was born.
Thanks my first point of action will be to read the book
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Old 08-19-2016, 11:21 AM
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Things are going well. Managed a week in Ireland visiting family with lots of drinking being done and didn't touch a drop. Having a child free weekend away with DH and he is in the pub as I type.

I so feel like I'm standing on the side lines all the time. As life seems to revolve around people drinking and being drunk. I'm not envious or wanting to get involved. My morals disappear when I'm drunk and I've made some terrible decisions whilst drunk. So maybe I'm better off on the sidelines anyway.

I really don't want to drink again, this is definitely different to the last times I gave up. I kind of knew I would give in to it again because I liked being drunk. This time I want to be in control and not making bad life decisions and not lose days out of my life from hangovers. I want a sober life, where as before I wanted to drink but without any of the side effects of drinking, apart from the buzz.
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