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Asked about it in public

Old 05-28-2016, 06:47 PM
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Asked about it in public

Hello all:

I just got back from a bbq with at the house of parent of my daughter's schoolmate. We are becoming friends and they know I don't drink. However, the dad of the woman asked me what I was drinking and when I said water he started asking about why I didn't drink. He congratulated me at the end but it was awkward to be on the spot around all these strangers. I'm didn't know any of the people there. They are all "beer expert"... I wonder how many have a drinking problem... Who knows.

I felt a bit uncomfortable with the old man asking me questions specially since he was so loud I was the only grown up not drinking there. I felt weird. I told him that I used to drink but didn't want to drink around my daughter...

Now I'm home, she's in bed and my hubby is out.

It's good to be sober.

No AV by the way...
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Old 05-28-2016, 06:50 PM
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That sounds like a good answer to me. Congrats on making it through!
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Old 05-28-2016, 06:54 PM
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That happens. I just tried not to let it bother me. Actually many people don't drink, or drink very little. It is my experience that people that tend to probe could possibly have issues of their own, or have been through it with an alcoholic. I also find, and I'm sure I'm not always spot on, that I have a bit of a radar for 'my people' if you know what I'm saying.

It gets easier. Don't give in to the drinking culture like I did a year ago.
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Old 05-28-2016, 06:58 PM
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I did feel the radar. He was drinking a lot and being loud...

It makes me cringe. They were making fun of people who drink light beer so I said "you would drink it if it's all there was...". The guys answered that he probably wouldn't.

Hhmmmm? I used to be an equal opportunity drinker.
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Old 05-28-2016, 07:39 PM
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Well how you were feeling is normal. You don't owe anyone explanations. I would just say I don't drink and 99 % of the time that worked. Most people didn't even notice or ask. The probers.....I would tell them it makes me feel like crap. Nough said.
Ya done good!
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Old 05-28-2016, 07:42 PM
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This irritates me for some reason - this whole "explain why you DON'T drink" we're expected to indulge for people. I never asked people that when I was actively drinking - you know why? Because unless that person is a close friend or family member, it is absolutely none of my friggin business. OK rant over.
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Old 05-28-2016, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted by madgirl View Post
This irritates me for some reason - this whole "explain why you DON'T drink" we're expected to indulge for people. I never asked people that when I was actively drinking - you know why? Because unless that person is a close friend or family member, it is absolutely none of my friggin business. OK rant over.
It's actually the first time I have been questioned directly like this in more that.n two year I'm glad I felt comfortable and prepared to answer. But yeah, it was annoying.
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Old 05-28-2016, 08:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 View Post
That happens. I just tried not to let it bother me. Actually many people don't drink, or drink very little. It is my experience that people that tend to probe could possibly have issues of their own, or have been through it with an alcoholic. I also find, and I'm sure I'm not always spot on, that I have a bit of a radar for 'my people' if you know what I'm saying.

It gets easier. Don't give in to the drinking culture like I did a year ago.
This was interesting. They had all kinds of strong beers from different places and always rinsed their glass before getting a different beer. I asked if the ALWAYS did that and one said that after getting tipsy sometimes no.
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Old 05-28-2016, 08:13 PM
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It seems like that was a little rude of them to put you on the spot like that. You should be proud of handling that situation well.

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Old 05-28-2016, 08:56 PM
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I think over the years I have rudely asked that question, out of interest and genuine admiration. As others have stated, more than likely it comes from someone who is feeling things about his or her own drinking. Good to see that people don't get asked the why question often and "no thanks" is usually sufficient
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Old 05-28-2016, 09:10 PM
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He sounds like a drunk to me.

Great job on being cool under pressure.

I tell folks i work out and booze makes me weak. I like talking about my sobriety, but i try never to open it up and will never ramble. Just short factual answers.

Thanks.
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Old 05-28-2016, 09:51 PM
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I know it wasn't a test but I reckon you aced it anyway.
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