bemyself

Teatree, FreeOwl and dear Dee - all your replies on this ) stabbed me in the heart. TT, yours on being DONE with regrets - and I've got hundreds, it feels like sometimes - is probably the gold of the weekend threads so far for me.

Vulturine, luv - I hear your pain, very much. More than you could know. Took me straight back to my first major childhood / teenage dream of becoming an architect. I only managed first year of the course straight after high school, fell apart (what I recognised decades later as a breakdown, suicide attempt and early alcoholic-level drinking, all mashed in together), dropped out. This was 1974-75 and thereafter. Whole other story there...

So: you HAVE graduated and started work in your field. Well done!!! Your current state can be well and truly turned around without the rest of your life being somehow in the toilet. Do you see that? Sounds also as if you could well benefit - to guide your healing and moving forward - with some good therapy, starting with the no-doubt awful grief about your dear friend.

Quitting the booze is a no-brainer.

This is by no means The End.
x Vic