A progressive illness
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 89
A progressive illness
The big book is so true. Alcoholism is a progressive illness. For years I told myself that I drank due to being unhappy, due to stress blah blah blah. But life is great now. Or should be. I have everything I need or want to be content. It's been like this for a while, but my drinking has actually INCREASED. More than ever before. It scares me. It's seriously the only thing wrong we me at the moment. I feel so discouraged but want to give sobriety another go.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
yep, it sure is....
tricky part is we never seem to accept that for ourselves until we've been beaten down and beaten down and beaten down enough times to finally admit the progression for ourselves.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to sit down and write your "life story of booze and drugs". Write it out in every honest, gory detail. Try to put some milestones on there.... years, ages, events.....
Then, when it's ALL been dumped out.... every ugly shred of it, make a timeline of those events and summarize them.... and look at the arc of your drinking life from beginning to now.
Then you begin to see where you've been, how progression has already developed, and begin to imagine where it's headed.....
tricky part is we never seem to accept that for ourselves until we've been beaten down and beaten down and beaten down enough times to finally admit the progression for ourselves.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to sit down and write your "life story of booze and drugs". Write it out in every honest, gory detail. Try to put some milestones on there.... years, ages, events.....
Then, when it's ALL been dumped out.... every ugly shred of it, make a timeline of those events and summarize them.... and look at the arc of your drinking life from beginning to now.
Then you begin to see where you've been, how progression has already developed, and begin to imagine where it's headed.....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
For us with drinking problems, its easy to drink as a result of any occasion. Things are going bad, drink. Things are going great, drink, and everything in between.
I see you joined in 2010 so you've been at this awhile?
I see you joined in 2010 so you've been at this awhile?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 242
Now is the time to quit. While things are going good.
Not to mention..... the health benefits of not drinking.
My body told me it was time............ and .... I am glad that I quit before any serious probs.
Not to mention..... the health benefits of not drinking.
My body told me it was time............ and .... I am glad that I quit before any serious probs.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 89
Yeah I joined back in 2010, managed to go over 100 days or something like that, then boom. Started posting again 2012, managed about a year, then fell flat on my face. Managed 90days again in 2014 but didn't post at the time.
Looks like I am on a 2 year cycle. But each relapse is really worse! I drink much more each time, or rather I hit a much higher level of consumption before I decide to give up.
Looks like I am on a 2 year cycle. But each relapse is really worse! I drink much more each time, or rather I hit a much higher level of consumption before I decide to give up.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
priceyjunk: your story of here, gone, back here, gone...it's mine, as well (and with my join date of 2006, I've been at it even longer.)
And worsening relapse experiences, increasing consumption up to mind-blowing levels...that's what got me right where you are now, back again and determined that I can never return to that cycle; the progression was too obvious to ignore, and I was headed for an early, ugly death.
I highly recommend more posting; it's really helping me (at 19 days) stay focused, grounded, accountable to myself and others, and so fully supported and encouraged by the good people here. It's making a difference this time.
Everyone here has your back; you know this from previous visits. I hope you'll hang out and share your progress; you'll get tons of caring replies, of that I have no doubt...best wishes, Arp
And worsening relapse experiences, increasing consumption up to mind-blowing levels...that's what got me right where you are now, back again and determined that I can never return to that cycle; the progression was too obvious to ignore, and I was headed for an early, ugly death.
I highly recommend more posting; it's really helping me (at 19 days) stay focused, grounded, accountable to myself and others, and so fully supported and encouraged by the good people here. It's making a difference this time.
Everyone here has your back; you know this from previous visits. I hope you'll hang out and share your progress; you'll get tons of caring replies, of that I have no doubt...best wishes, Arp
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Why not just call it an addiction to a substance we develop a tolerance to? There are lots of substances like that, like heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine for example, and lots of experiences we tend to treat the same way. We become dependent on it, and we need more of it for the same buzz as time goes on. After a while, we need it just to feel normal.
It seems to explain the experience of many of us, it does mine, anyway. And it's a simple explanation too. I prefer simple. For me, it meant the solution was simple too. Quit. Every day of drinking would make the addiction hole deeper.
Best of luck to you, PJ. No matter how hard it is, you can do it. It will suck for a while, but that doesn't really matter, does it? Sober is sooo much better than drunk. You can choose it, and then go get it. Then you can find that peace and joy you are looking for. Because you won't find it while impaired.
Best to you.
It seems to explain the experience of many of us, it does mine, anyway. And it's a simple explanation too. I prefer simple. For me, it meant the solution was simple too. Quit. Every day of drinking would make the addiction hole deeper.
Best of luck to you, PJ. No matter how hard it is, you can do it. It will suck for a while, but that doesn't really matter, does it? Sober is sooo much better than drunk. You can choose it, and then go get it. Then you can find that peace and joy you are looking for. Because you won't find it while impaired.
Best to you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
another thing i found to be true in the big book:
Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.
Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Pricey,
I had a similar history on SR. I joined in 2012, and it took me until this year to get it right. I also has many day ones, I had stretched of sobriety, followed by periods of drinking again. I convinced myself I could moderate, and failed miserably each time. I will hit five months this week, and the thing that has helped me is accountability and not becoming complacent in my recovery plan.
When I stopped reading and posting on SR in the past directly correlates to when I started drinking again. I make sure to check in here every day, normally several times. Reading stories of successes and struggles helps me remain vigilant about my own recovery.
I'm glad you are back, you can do this!!
I had a similar history on SR. I joined in 2012, and it took me until this year to get it right. I also has many day ones, I had stretched of sobriety, followed by periods of drinking again. I convinced myself I could moderate, and failed miserably each time. I will hit five months this week, and the thing that has helped me is accountability and not becoming complacent in my recovery plan.
When I stopped reading and posting on SR in the past directly correlates to when I started drinking again. I make sure to check in here every day, normally several times. Reading stories of successes and struggles helps me remain vigilant about my own recovery.
I'm glad you are back, you can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
"When I stopped reading and posting on SR in the past directly correlates to when I started drinking again. I make sure to check in here every day, normally several times. Reading stories of successes and struggles helps me remain vigilant about my own recovery."
This was true for me also. I became too complacent. After I took the first drink, I was too ashamed to come back. If I were reading and posting everyday, either I wouldn't have taken that drink or I would have jumped right back on the wagon.
This was true for me also. I became too complacent. After I took the first drink, I was too ashamed to come back. If I were reading and posting everyday, either I wouldn't have taken that drink or I would have jumped right back on the wagon.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 89
Yes, that's my story too. Many day ones. Making a decision never to drink again, trying to moderate. Usually 'succeeding' for about a week. Stop posting on SR probably because deep down inside I know something is wrong and then before you know it, I'm trapped again. And then, when I'm in the grip of out of control drinking, I keep putting it off and tell myself I'll do it 'tomorrow'. I've had a lot of tomorrow's.
But yesterday, I found myself, after another half bottle of liquor, realising I was out of control, big time. Can't afford to do that anymore. It's slowly killing me.
But yesterday, I found myself, after another half bottle of liquor, realising I was out of control, big time. Can't afford to do that anymore. It's slowly killing me.
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