sydneyman

I am here too. So now the gang is all here again. We have become a small group and happy that we are still here together.perhaps we are not all in the ideal place as sobriety is at various different levels for each of us. My second week at work. Reality has again set in. I am doing OK and read all the posts. Winslow, nice to hear from you and that you doing ok. Juno - glad you sober, easier for you to discipline /talk to your daughter. Midton, your on the up again its great to see. You will be far more relaxed being booze free for your vacation time. Grizz- good to hear from you to.. I i am busy at work training new staff at work and keeps me content as I do prefer busy than staring in the air.
Ok glad to be back with you guys. Missed the whole bunch of you x

Juno11

I am so happy that both Grizzly and Sydneyman posted.... yay! The gang is all together again. It definitely helps to have us all here even if some are struggling with sobriety or at a different place.

Please forgive me if this post is not coherent - I just woke up and didn't have the best sleep because of all the craziness with my daughter, who is on intercession in upstate New York (the Adirondacks) when this happened. Thank god she has trained and caring teachers who took her to the ER when they were worried about her. I would have done the same.

I'm of course cycling between being relieved that nothing serious came of this, though she does have to see a doctor in a week and will have some punishment at school, and mad at her for again being so stupid. I said to her once, "How many mistakes do you have to make?" I know that's kind of harsh, but she doesn't seem to learn much from every mistake she makes and there are always consequences to her actions. When I was young I got away with a lot. I did things, not always the smartest, and I drank a lot, and I got away with it. My parents never found out and never had to deal with it. She is one of these people who never gets away with things. She always gets caught, she always has massive repercussions and result of her decisions and it seems to be the theme of her life. I wish she would start learning to make better decisions. She will be 18 in December and needs to start taking some better responsibility for herself.

Enough about my daughter - my son calmed down and we had a good talk about things at school. Being sober allows me to be present and here for my kids and able to talk coherently when the phone rings and deal with crises such as the one that happened last night.

Glad Winslow is back and glad Midton has some well deserved time off. Midton, they call that a "staycation" here. I could use a stayation, but work is too busy right now.

Let's all have a great Tuesday. I believe it's day 7 for me today in my new sober journey. Small number, but I feel strong in my resolve.

Winslow

Hey all, Juno sorry about your daughter, that's very scary,my oldest daughter is on something I think, I know she smokes a lot of weed but I'm starting to think she's dabbling in something harder,in my case though she's an adult so not much I can really do but it causes me so much anxiety and sadness, luckily your daughter is still a minor so you have some control, I hope she'll stop pushing the envelope, I didn't realize you could get high off mucinex? I HATE that stuff makes me feel an inside jittery feeling, Midton,enjoy your staycation,I need one too but there's always something that needs to be done around the house so I'd end up working at home anyways haha,Sydney, got any Bali pics for us? Grizzly, how's your son? Is he on another adventure or home? Feel a like I've been gone forever even though I did read everyday, I just feel bonded to you guys for some reason, I'm in the class of April but it's more of just a check in spot it seems,yesterday was rough again in the evening but I think I was like that in the 3 months mark during my last quit too,just kinda"blah" I hate that feeling, I like feeling light and free in sobriety not pissed off that I can't drink, its not drinking I want though, its that goofy,don't give a care feeling I miss I guess but those days are long gone,trust me I've tried it, all my relapses have been shame,disappointment,sickness and a feeling of digging out of a hole I can't get out of,then why do I still think of it? Being an addict sucks! Hope everyone enjoys their day

Juno11

Winslow, that's a really good observation - that it's not drinking that you want, it's that goofy "i don't care" feeling. I totally get that and that was what I was always after when I drink. I didn't feel it much in the later days but I think I kept trying to try to feel that again. It's crazy how it doesn't stick around and goes away, replaced by kind of depressed fuzzy tired feeling, at least for me. I'm with you - sober is better for sure.

Sorry you are worried about your daughter It's terrible that we never stop worrying about our kids - even when they are adults. I know I will always worry about mine. My Mom, who is late 70's, worries about me everyday. She was a wreck with me driving to New Hampshire by myself a few weekends ago! I guess I understand. I'm still her daughter, her kid. I hope your daughter is okay and not dabbling in anything dangerous.

I've had a hard day. I've cycled through a lot of emotions with this latest incident with my daughter. Last night I was just concerned/worried. Today I felt more of sadness like I needed to cry but couldn't. It reminded me of the feeling you have when you break up with someone or have gotten broke up with - a lingering sad feeling that you can't shake all day. Then I started feeling angry. I'm angry that she did this incredibly stupid thing - that she squanders so many good opportunities that have been given to her, that she wasted a wonderful week's relaxation with her classmates at a lake/mountain location (as punishment she has to go back to school and do cleaning jobs, which is totally justified) but most of all angry that she could act so recklessly with her health and her life when so many people care about her. That's why I'm angry with her. It's going to be a few days, I think, until I am able to get my emotions under control. I will not drink because it would be setting myself back in my recovery, or falling back into addiction when I want to come out.

Sorry so heavy today guys - I hope lighter days are ahead.

Juno11

On a lighter note, Grizzly, great job getting the school supply shopping all done so early! I used to pride myself on getting that done early and not waiting til the last minute! It's such a good feeling, isn't it?

Right now I'm still trying to figure out where my youngest will go to school in the fall - we are down to a couple of options and it's getting a little nerve wracking. Well, hopefully it will all work out.

Midton

We had torrential rain here resulting in flooding and some landslides around the city. Around 2400 households were told to prepare to be evacuated to local schools and gymnasiums, I think less that 20 households had to actually evacuate. The heavy rain eventually ended this morning. My son and three friends had went to his grandparents house intending to watch the fireworks, they ended up staying there as the roads were flooded though the house was fine.

My body is getting me down. I keep picking up new ached and pains so today I am doing nothing. In fact I've just woken up after getting up earlier to eat breakfast. I'm just exhausted. I hate doing nothing and not making the most of my holidays though.

On a more positive note the firework display is due to go ahead today and I'm looking forward to scoping it.

Midton

It never rains. Now I have a problem with my teeth. I hate, rather am scared, if dentist but I have to go today if I can get an appointment.

Juno11

Midton, I hope you were able to get to the fireworks and enjoy your scoping.

I took my son to the dentist today. I, too, get super nervous about the dentist. It's just a really nerve wracking experience. My son did well - he's now 13 - but he used to be impossible and uncooperative. Thank god for maturity in some ways - nice to see him growing up a bit. He had no cavities, thank goodness, but has a tooth coming in really strangely and will have to have an ortho consult and probably see an oral surgeon pretty soon. A mother's work is never done.

I didn't sleep well last night, not at all, and I was sick with exhaustion today. After the dental appointment I was so so hot (it's very hot out) so I came home and had a bunch of watermelon sherbert and it was great. Then I had to take a quick nap to feel a little better. I was going to get to yoga tonight but no such luck - I'm way too drained. I had to wash my hair and get groceries as well. It's pretty busy this week.

No drinking thoughts, just wishful sleeping thoughts. I'm feeling slightly better about my daughter today but it's going to take time. I have moments of sadness and anger, too, but today the sadness started creeping in more. I think I'm just going to need a little time. I'm glad I didn't lash out to her with angry texts yesterday because I sure felt like doing it. But it wouldn't have made me feel better in end to deal with it that way. Can you imagine if I had been drinking - I have no filter when I drink, I would have said things to her (by text) that I would have probably regretted later. Okay, hope to hear from more of you guys today.

Winslow

Hey all,Midton I HATE the dentist too!last time I went I was hammered, it was just x-rays but after they told me about all the work I needed I never went back, surprised he didn't say anything about me being drunk actually, either I hid it pretty darn good or he's just noseblind maybe a lot of people drink before the dentist, who knows? Juno,yes its a good thing you aren't drinking that would be awful to say stuff to your daughter in a drunken fit,once it's said we can't take it back or apologize enough, doing better today,I was getting kinda scared by the"fugue state" feeling I had been having for days,almost dreamlike, creepy, hi Grizzly and Sydney, check in when you can

Dee74

I just found a new dentist - 5 mins away on the scooter.

I'd lost a filling and had been in pain for a couple of days. Fixed now - but I empathise with all those in pain

D

sydneyman

Hi.. I have got a bad case of flu.. so I am bed ridden with antibiotics, at least I am not drinking..I will be away from work Thursday and Friday...feel bad about it but how many times have I been away due to booze!!!! Perhaps this will be my catalyst to stop fully again. I am also no dentist fan and have pushed and changed my date to go and see him so many times. I really need to get that appointment done as I know I need something done..
I keep it short today as I am truly a walking zombie with aches and pains = man flu I guess they say....
Winslow I will see if I can get some Bali photos done when I get more energy..Good to hear that the majority are sober and soldiering on. I hope to join that majority.

Juno11

Ah yes, the dreaded dentist! We all have a common fear of it. But I always feel great when I go and successfully get it done, so that's something to think about.

When I bring my kids to their dentist it's really not too bad. It's this great place with fun all over the place. They have video gaming arcade style in the waiting room (old school games like Pacman, Ms. Pacman, Frogger, your choice ) then in the rooms where you get seen they TV screens on the ceiling so the kids get distracted from their misery. And the people who work there are all very sweet and understanding. They have been wonderful with my two boys who at times have been difficult to deal with. I just have a regular dentist but they have been good with me about pain management when I have something done (I get laughing gas, which is always a very pleasant experience) and they really tackle my problems - for example I grind my teeth at night so I have night guards to protect my teeth.

Winslow, I'm glad you're feeling better and feel the fugue state feeling going away! Sydneyman, I'm sorry you have the flu! Get better soon. Maybe you can use this to kickstart your recovery? Grizzly, hope to hear from you soon.

I have a busy workday ahead but hopefully a good one. I'm glad I waited to say anything to my daughter, drinking or not, because I was so mad at her. I will be better now and in a few days. We are down to two schools for my son so we will apply to both this week and hopefully figure this out soon. Have a great day, all.

Dee74

Time for a new thread guys - get well soon sydneyman

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-8-a.html

D