joandmelandhan

Hi it's me again. I've just come in from work on my second day. I managed a day sober which at the time and this morning was one hell of an achievement. Problem is now my AV is now regretting not drinking coz I have to drive my daughter to and from netball so can't drink tonight. Stupid or what? The thought is there almost all the time and draining me.
I am determined to get through today but can't overpower the beast and get positive thoughts into my head. I think I'm rushing it. I have a mini plan for this evening. Chores etc that will pass the time but that's how I feel. Passing the time. Counting the hours. Waiting for something positive to happen.
I will persevere and stay in touch. It helps to type these feelings. SR is a wonderful place.
I am an alcoholic. I know that. I somehow need to learn to accept it as a condition I have like an illness and hope that this will start a process of positivity of sorts.
Anyway for now I am sober and plan to stay that way till I am tucked up safe in bed tonight. The beast can throw a tantrum if she likes. I'll keep going and tough it out.

amazingjoy

Great job tattling on that AV! Stay strong and keep the faith...it's hard at first but it gets so much better and easier!

joandmelandhan

I hope so amazingjoy I'll give it my best shot.

mecanix

Day 2 good going , keep on .

Do you see whats going on here ? your darling daughter is going to netball and the addiction is trying to make it a miserable and frustrating experience for you .

The alcohol is making you resent these glorious and wonderful things in your life .
If you keep sober the addiction won't win and you and your daughter will benefit from it.

Sobriety has given me the luxury of quality time to spend with my loved ones .

When i was drinking my focus was not on them it was on when is it drink o'clock ? how soon can i get home and crack one open , can i drink enough to get drunk and be sober enough to drive in the morning ..

The pain and frustration you are feeling is all the fault of alcohol and it having its claws in you .

Maintaining sobriety is the only way i know of getting my life back , sometimes i was so miserable i cried and curled up in a ball on the floor , i stayed sober and things changed

Stick with it

m

firstymer

You can do this, Jo. I know that you can.

Thinking good thoughts for you.

BBQBOY

Remember...the battles get easier over time. First, win the battle today....then reload and win tomorrow! Your AV will retreat...I promise you. Best Wishes

Soberwolf

You can do this

joandmelandhan

Yes you're right! Obsessing about drink o clock is almost a full time occupation especially fitting it round driving commitments. Looking forward to freedom from that 😊

soberaccountant

I've heard a common phrase to focus one day at a time, and I have even heard to focus on one hour at a time. I know you can do this, and I know you can get past this. Addiction sucks, I have seen all to many of my friends experience it. It is good that you are preoccupying yourself with other activities, and I am certain as time goes on it will get easier to deal with those cravings.

I feel so fortunate that I didn't have any craving for alcohol once I went through my ordeal, but I still deal a lot with emotions these days. We all face different types of battles but how we fight the war is all the same...keeping the eye on the prize one day at a time.

joandmelandhan

Just getting up on day 3. Anxiety pretty high but I have plans for the day and am 100% committed to a sober day.
Yes 1 day at a time (and at bad times 1 hour) is getting me through and being very strict with my AV.
Think I am going to try my first AA meeting today. I'll have an open mind and see what I think.
Have a great day everyone 😊

Trees39

Well done to you.

ALinNS

Congrads on staying sober, your post brought back some memories as I too regretted not drinking at a specific time as I knew I could not the next day or evening. The good news is it gets easier, the first couple of weeks we seem to red line often wanting to pick up, I believe it's because we are still in the fog and the AV is still raging however every battle we win over it the stronger we become and the weaker it is.

Hang in there and have a great day
Andrew

chrcarlson

Keep it One Day at a Time. My cravings were the worst for about 5 days. After a week or so the cravings were a lot less. After a month or two I'm not sure they were cravings any more, they were more like thoughts. After 30 years of beer I'm sober 149 days. It's only one day, today.

Don't think about quitting forever. Just think about not drinking today, tomorrow will take care of itself.

Best wishes

firstymer

I think the AA meeting is a really good idea, Jo. Let us know if you go and, if you do, how it goes.

We are pulling for you.

Anna

I hope Day 3 is going well for you!

picturebigger

promise promise PROMISE it gets better, and MUCH MUCH sooner than you think or feel like. i'm at day 26.. no seasoned veteran by any means.. seems like just yesterday i was in week 1. right around day 5 or 6 it starts to shift. by day 8 time started to speed up again. you're almost there!! hang in there. it's coming. very soon!!

definitely check out AA. even if some parts you feel don't really apply to you, just sit back and listen. lots of great people in there. i rarely talk, i just listen. the biggest thing you get out of it is it keeps sobriety on your mind, you stay focused. as week 1 fades away and you start feeling better, it'll start getting harder to remember how bad it was. this is where AA is KEY. it gives you so much more to think about than just "don't drink". even the stuff that doesn't apply to me, just the routine of going to AA in itself is enough to keep the mission front and center for me. if/when your mind starts to drift and drinking appears, a flood of other thoughts from AA will rush in too and help drown it out. just like an old childhood memory you forgot until someone reminded you, AA does the same for drinking. i'd forget all about the misery if i didn't surround myself with people that help remind me of it. that's how AA is great. just go sit and listen and take the parts you want from it. or don't take any parts but still go. don't give up after just 1 day. stay in there and you'll start to bond. you'll quickly begin to look forward to going.

one more thing... PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE it's about to get better in just a few more days. lol! it felt hopeless and endless for me in week 1. none of us can put in to words how it feels when that phase fades away, but all of us -- ALL OF US -- are swearing up and down to you that it is coming. just hang in there! you're almost there. promise promise promise. with cherries on top.

congrats!!

jseattle

By being sober you will never again have to worry about trying to keep evenings "free" so that you can drink and not drive. BTDT to an extreme; in retrospect it is so crazy.

GnikNus

Remain sober past the early days and you'll wonder why you ever lived the drinking life. It will get easier.

joandmelandhan

Hi all. I did go today. Wasn't really nervous (I've stepped in the door of other groups on my own). The people were all lovely in various stages of recovery. I knew 1 or 2 aswell (again from my other group).
I just sat and listened knowing that for the next 2 hours I would be doing something proactive for my sobriety. I tried AA before many years ago but only really went due to peer pressure (ex husband) but this time it was MY choice. Sobriety too is MY choice. That is the key difference this time.
I don't hand on heart know if I will buy into the 12 steps but being surrounded by people in the same situation supporting eachother has to be a good thing. Just like being on this site.
Thank you all for the support and checking in on me. I am humbled.
I'm feeling pretty positive today 😊

picturebigger

i'm the same way. not officially trying to chase those 12 steps. i think most of the steps will come naturally with time. and some of the steps don't really apply to me either. i just go for the fellowship, good advice, reminders of why i'm staying sober.

best wishes!