tomsteve

well, that there tells me a lot.
it can take a lot to admit i didnt thoroughly follow through with something- the deflation of ego and pride and the beginning of humility.
humility is teachability.
a week is a veeeeery short time to go through the 12 steps.
i dont think i woulda felt a difference either, especially since i was in a fog for quite some time after getting sober. all i felt for the 1st month of sobriety was misery.

plus, the steps arent meant to be once and done- the design for living laid out in the big book " must continue for our lifetime."

imma thinkin ya know what ya should do.
the program has a LOT of promises that will materialize as a result of working it
and youre worth it- you deserve to put in the footwork and have an awesome, sober life.

hellrzr

I'm glad to see your are positive Para! In many ways that is step 1. Sounds like, from what you said above, that you are hung up on being powerless over alcohol. Truly believing that is where it all starts. Took me about a year before I truly believed that but once I did things really did change for me.

MIRecovery

In sobriety and life we get out what we put in but just because we've done it wrong before does not mean we don't have the opportunity to do it right.

No matter how far we have walked in the wrong direction we always can turn around

Para

Day 1 of sobriety has come to an end. I am going to bed.
I am thankful that I am sober and that I have this forum to share my thoughts and receive support.

Soberwolf

Congratulations Para

tomsteve

how ya doin today, para?

Bunny211

I can SO relate. The only thing that worked for me was going to big book step study meetings and getting a BBSS sponsor. Then I did whatever she told me to do....and I stayed sober. Simple, and miraculous!

Delilah1

Welcome back Para, I too have had many day ones, and what finally made this one stick was as soon asana thought of drinking popped into my head I did something/anything else. I have a little over four months, and less thoughts of drinking each day.

If you start getting those thoughts post on here, lots of people will be around to talk you through that urge/thought.

You can do this!

❤️ Delilah

Para

Good morning and i'll give you an update of how I am. I am starting sober day #3. Feeling ok. I guess what's different from two days ago is that I was super excited about making lifestyle changes in my life...and now a bit of fear..those doubts about what if I canNOT do it are setting in.
Those thoughts - I'm taking as my AV, and I won't let them get the better of me.
I'm committing to sobriety.

This morning, I found myself awake at 330am...couldn't sleep so I decided to do some net surfing. Came upon Moderation Management - the movement that says drinking in moderation is possible. AV popped up in my mind again saying..maybe you can drink moderately after all.

Upon further reading...for women...drinking should be limited to 9 standard drinks a week, 3 standard drinks per day at the most. That hit home!
This is for alcoholics, moderate drinkers, and social drinkers.

That hit home. Moderation is NOT for me. I can never stop at 3 drinks in a day, I'd be so frustruated and obsessing about how to get the 4th, 5th, ....12th drink that very same day. Abstinence is the way to go for me. And after reading about that, it was easier for me to accept that not drinking at all is the path for me.

Anna

And, I found that not drinking at all was far easier than moderating. My mind was constantly working when I attempted moderation. It never rested and the plans were always there. It was exhausting.

Stopping drinking will bring peace to your life.

Good job on Day 3!

Dee74

Are you getting a plan together Para?

D

Para

So here I am, a week after my crazy binge drinking session. I don't want to go back to that. But today....I feel hopeless, bored, and lazy. I don't want to do anything on my plan for the day. The house is a mess, needs cleaning. I just want to lie in bed.
It's only 9am. I didn't go to work today. And usually i've gone for a run/walk & showered by this time.
How do I get out of this rut today? My motivation is gone.
I don't want to drink. The thought of it makes me sick. But I feel sad and just downright lazy.

Why do i feel this sadness? Am I grieving alcohol? The fact that i can never drink moderately?
I have so many wonderful things in my life. I am grateful. But melancholy.

2ndhandrose

Hi Para

It is okay to have a quiet day. It doesn't need to be considered in a rut.

How about treating yourself like you would a dear friend who just needed some comfort?

Maybe curl up with some popcorn (or tea or chocolate.....) and find a good movie to watch. Just treat yourself gently for a day.

Para

Thanks 2ndhandrose.

Sometimes I forget it's ok to be gentle with myself. I spent so much time feeling guilty or bad.

Dee74

It's natural to feel a little down in the early days - I think most of us underestimate the damage we did to mind and body...it takes a little time to heal

and...I hate to sound like a broken record,...but hows that's plan comin'?
D