Self Control ( or lack of! )
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
just yesterday you vowed to never drink that champagne, but only leave it there as a testament to your resolve. and now after a bad day you WANT that champagne.........
see how that worked? see how the addict voice cons us? oh you're FINE, you just keep that alcohol close by its not like you'll want to DRINK it.....
remember you still have a choice here....you can CHOOSE not to drink today.....but you ONLY have that choice before you consume any booze....
see how that worked? see how the addict voice cons us? oh you're FINE, you just keep that alcohol close by its not like you'll want to DRINK it.....
remember you still have a choice here....you can CHOOSE not to drink today.....but you ONLY have that choice before you consume any booze....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
It's good you're honest.
Here again, we see a prime example of overforty's capacity for self-reflection (said in best David Attenborough voice).
Good for you identifying the trigger and the underlying issue in yourself. Drinking isn't going to make that underlying issue any better. But apart from working on that AV, work also on that voice that tells you Mrs Vanilla has the life that you want. Does she really? You can only be yourself. Try writing a gratitude list about all your positive attributes and you will find many, I know.
Here again, we see a prime example of overforty's capacity for self-reflection (said in best David Attenborough voice).
Good for you identifying the trigger and the underlying issue in yourself. Drinking isn't going to make that underlying issue any better. But apart from working on that AV, work also on that voice that tells you Mrs Vanilla has the life that you want. Does she really? You can only be yourself. Try writing a gratitude list about all your positive attributes and you will find many, I know.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
just got home from work and would love nothing more than to open the bottle of champagne!
As usual I'm in an empty house after a really dull day at work - I work with people I have nothing in common with.
One of the women I worked with today is a trigger for me to come home and get completely wasted!
She is my polar opposite - she has a husband and a family and is just so vanilla! She doesn't have a bad bone in her body!
If I'm honest I'm jealous of her
As usual I'm in an empty house after a really dull day at work - I work with people I have nothing in common with.
One of the women I worked with today is a trigger for me to come home and get completely wasted!
She is my polar opposite - she has a husband and a family and is just so vanilla! She doesn't have a bad bone in her body!
If I'm honest I'm jealous of her
The above sounds like a resentment , i had a lot of them , learning to deal with my resentments was a real help in being able to keep sober .
Righteous indignation was great power to my addiction , drinking at the world in frustration, indignation and anger .
take care , m
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 467
I didn't drink it - I want to drink it - but I'm not going to.
I'm going to give it to my brother when he comes down this week.
Miss Perfumado - you are right - the woman I work with doesn't have the life I want but she has things I want and am unlikely to have now.
I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself!
Thank you for the replies - I'm not sure that I should be posting every thought in my head - it's a little embarrassing reading back!
I have to change - and the only way that is going to happen is if I do something different.
Not drinking or altering my mind on some way is brand new.
I'm not sure how to be.
But it's a beautiful day out - I'm going to cycle to work and try and enjoy the day.
Thanks everyone x
I'm going to give it to my brother when he comes down this week.
Miss Perfumado - you are right - the woman I work with doesn't have the life I want but she has things I want and am unlikely to have now.
I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself!
Thank you for the replies - I'm not sure that I should be posting every thought in my head - it's a little embarrassing reading back!
I have to change - and the only way that is going to happen is if I do something different.
Not drinking or altering my mind on some way is brand new.
I'm not sure how to be.
But it's a beautiful day out - I'm going to cycle to work and try and enjoy the day.
Thanks everyone x
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by overforty 
I have to change - and the only way that is going to happen is if I do something different.
Such a ridiculously simple concept, but it eluded me for decades.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
...and please don't be embarrassed by your earlier posts. We WANT people to post when they are struggling. I am grateful when people choose to reach out for help before they drink - especially when it involves them expressing "every thought in their head". It's when people stop reaching out for help that the problems worsen.
So, post away. That's what we are here for.
So, post away. That's what we are here for.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
You don't know what she's really like - the married lady with the family. I remember an intern who worked for me a few years ago told me she couldn't wait to get married and have a family and that she looked up to me. She HAD NO IDEA how lost I was. Even if that lady appears to be "vanilla" I assure you people - ALL people - are surprisingly complex.
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