Dim

So its 6am and ive just woken up anxious as hell, shaky and wobbly after the conclusion of my latest binge. My legs are killing me (surprise, surprise) and although my sleep was quite broken, i'm quite surprised at the fact that i actually got some sleep. I'm gonna nut it out today, try and stay busy, meditate a little and stick really close to this forum. Hoping the worst is over and if I can get myself to a meeting, i'll do that. Again, please tell me it gets better.

Lightning Bug

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and make a plan to get to day two. I am on day four. It does get better.

Midwest1981

it gets better!! take care of yourself....drink lots of water, rest, try and eat if you can.

Everydaysabonus

It definitely gets better. Day 33 here and feeling good and peaceful. Keep busy if you can to pass the time but if you are tired sleep, it's what your body needs. Work on getting some nutritious food in too and plenty of fluid. Stay strong !

thomas11

Hey Dim, do you know what triggered you to drink again? Take care of yourself today.

least

It gets better as long as you don't drink!

Dim

Thomas it was my own inability to stay strong that mad me start and i truly cant blame anything else. If it helps identify it though i'm pretty sure it was the withdrawal from my antidepressant. Normally if i have a craving, i'll get to the gym or go for a run but when the withdrawal was so severe that i couldnt even do that, it was off to the bottle shop i went. A decision by that in hindsight, i truly regret. I'm going to resign up at the gym this week (as opposed to working out from home) as things seemed better when i had that to turn to when things got their toughest. I'll beat this god damn devil and i truly pray there is no permanent damage.

LosingmyMisery

It does get better. In fact, life becomes great. There was a time I never could imagine that. Today, I'm living it and I'm still amazed. I wish we could take the remorse you are feeling and bottle it. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Hang in there everyone. Push yourselves to the limit and do what you have to do to make your life better. Trust me when I say, life is better without alcohol.

Delilah1

Hi Dim,

Glad you came right back today. If the gym was a good outlet when you had a craving, I think joining again is a great idea. Do you have any other supports/outlets as part of your plan?

Dim

Thanks delilah. The gym is definitely on the cards because it was a better time in my life when i was going there. And considering i dont have a job at the moment it seems like a great way to pass the time and help my mental state. Other than that, AA and this forum will my outlets. I have a very supportive family that i almost had them throw me out because of my craziness during my last binge but i know they see light at the end of the tunnel. Just as i do. I cant wait to have a clear head.

Soberwolf

puck yourself back up bud were here lean on us learn from us

doggonecarl

It gets better...with sobriety. Not with a cycle of sobriety and relapse. Things get worse. Google "kindling" and you'll see why we are always advising, "Make this your last day one."

Dim

Just worked out. My mind will take some time but my body will be the catalyst to get my mind right. This is the last day one so help me god.

Lightning Bug

Good for you Dim.

Dim

Oh boy i just read about kindling. This makes plenty of sense. The withdrawals are always worse than the last! I also read this has the potential to cause permanent brain damage. I've accepted the fact i can never drink again because of kindling but is a full recovery possible? Will my brain repair. Can anyone with a similar pattern of binging lend some perspective? Intelligence, cognition etc, can they make a full recovery? Please respond, i know everyones different but from a generalistic point of view.

Dee74

Dim relax - if you can post on the internet and make sense the likelihood is your brain is fine...

staying sober now will give both your mind and body the best chance for a complete recovery

D

Dim

Dee you are a godsend. I'm so fortunate to have this website but you as well. I want to become a positive member of society like i once was but with the added edge of sobriety. Whatever it takes. I understand your in Oz as well. I'm in Melbourne and hope its warmer wherever you are right now x

AnvilheadII

just don't drink...no matter what. you CAN do this!