ben83

On a plus note I have drank about a gallon of water this morning ha ha that must be good for me

Meraviglioso

NO NO NO,


Warning!!!!!!

You won't "keep it to a few" and you know it! And even if you manage to do that it will take away what you have achieved and getting bak on track tomorrow will be more difficult. There are always going to be events that are going to be difficult to get through in the early days- most here would suggest you skip the stag do altogether. Looking at the idea of having "just a few" as an ok idea is not the best start on a path to recovery.

I completely get how you are feeling, I am not judging you, don't mistake that. What can we do to help you come up with a plan to get through today and tonight sober?

The drinking water is a good idea. Keep that up. Really tough cravings can also be fought off with direct contact with water, like taking shower or watching your hands. Can you do something active to burn off some excess energy? Maybe go for a long walk/ru, hit up the gym? then have a long shower? What about cleaning your house today? You have all this free time. Imagine waking up tomorrow SOBER to a clean house and having all Sunday for you to enjoy guilt free. Your mates will all be in bed nursing of hangovers meanwhile you've got your flat all sorted, have a fresh head and can get out and do something enjoyable. Maybe a nice brunch with some of the other guys who didn't take such a beating.

Tonight? What's your plan? Can you offer to be a designated driver? What will you drink instead of your usual drink? What will you say when your mates offer you shots or something to drink? What will you do when you start to feel too pressured? Will you have access to wifi where you can slip off and get some air and check in here?

Lots of stuff to think about. Let us help. 4 days is amazing, you have already come this far. Don't give it up for one night.

ben83

Ahhh I know you are absolutely right. I can't cancel now I've booked the hotel with a friend and it's expensive.

ben83

I can drink non alcoholic cider it looks the same and no one will notice so will avoid the questions. It's stupid but I'm actually embarrassed by the fact I've quit drinking I didn't even tell my mrs to begin with I let her go to the shop and buy my beer because I didn't want her to know. it was only the next day when I hadn't touched it she started asking. I still havent told her about my blood tests that came back bad twice. ( I told her they were fine ) I think it's admiting that I need to quit and not that I want to that's embarrassing.

Meraviglioso

I hear you. I really do. I have definitely been there before. The thing is, this is the alcoholic side of you coming out- looking for any way to sneak int here. If you got terrible case of the flu and were projectile vomiting all over the room with explosive diarrhoea every 5 minutes would you still go? Or would you cancel, hesitantly, but cancel?
I am not telling you to not go, but I am asking you to look honestly at what is happening here. You wanted to sobriety so earnestly a few days ago, but the first big hurdle that comes up you are ready to throw it out. You have already said you will probably drink tonight. Doesn't that feel a little bit sad to you? it does to me and I don't even know you bud!

Either you are quitting drinking. Or you're not. Sometimes quitting is not fun and is a big pain in the rear- there is a big part of us that would like to get sloshed with friends for a stag do- but it is worth it for all the other benefits it brings if you give them time to arrive. Think about it. No judgement here, I've been there.

Meraviglioso

I hear ya, it seem s like such a dumb thing but it does come up. It doesn't really make sense though. People who are allergic to peanuts don't get all embarrassed or ashamed when they decline the nut try because they can't eat peanuts.
You've got a medical issue here. What is embarrassing about telling the Mrs about the blood tests? this sounds like a golden opportunity to step up and be honest. Hun, we need to talk, it looks like all that alcohol I've been consuming has taken it's toll, I need to give it a rest. I am quitting for my health.

For your mates you can explain as much or as little was you want. If they are close you can get into the other aspects of your drinking that you don't like but maybe the stag do is not the place to get into it. For tonight you can order something non alcoholic and if they question you can easily say "let it ride bud, I don't want to bring down the mood of the party, but I got some blood tests back and have decided to quit alcohol, no big deal, but let's talk another time."

ben83

Well am very stubborn and I want to get through tonight without alcohol so watch this space I might just surprise you. Besides I have a 2.5 hour drive back in the morning that can be my excuse to not drink. and 8m not meeting the guys until about 6:30 and most of them have all been there since yesterday so they will be so drunk they won't even care what I'm drinking. I will check in here every hour or so for encouragement from you guys.. I just hope we don't go to a strip club I find them uncomfortable even when I'm drunk ha ha

Simplicity4114

Hi Ben! I'm new to here too....Day2 for me. I feel your pain on the Mrs. My Mr. doesn't have the issues I have with alcohol and it is always here if I want it. I also feel your pain with your upcoming party tonight.....I just disappointed friends by canceling our annual cinco de mayo party.....its just what I had to do for me. It is way too soon for me to place myself in that situation. May be for you too. I thought about drinking several times yesterday and was very glad I posted "day 1" on a thread here......I would like to say that I was strong and didn't drink for me, but honestly I didn't drink because I didn't want to post "day 1" here again this a.m. Whatever works I guess. Welcome.

firstymer

Those here who have been successful in quitting drinking will tell you that, if you are really committed to quitting, your chances of success are best when you make that the Number One Priority in your life. Ahead of work. Ahead of family. Ahead of social obligations. At least for the first few weeks. Is that selfish? Maybe. But, given the problems that alcohol has created for us, I think selfishly guarding your sobriety is a good thing.

Keep posting. We will be looking for updates from you.

thomas11

Hey Ben, you are an adult so I'm not going to treat you like a child and tell you you can't drink or you'll get grounded.

What I can tell you is that I saw in one of your posts that your blood came back bad, that's serious stuff. At this point you should be fully aware that if you don't stop voluntarily, you are going to be forced to stop....or die. That's what would motivate me to stay sober tonight. Its just a party dude, nothing more and nothing less. Not to be dramatic, but what if you had to tell your wife you're dying, because you didn't stop drinking?

BringingBackB

Hey Ben, welcome to SR (from another Ben).

I echo what others have said about the party. However, you know yourself and it sounds like you have something of a plan to get through the night without drinking. I wish you all the best.

ben83

Failed already guys I'm sorry. I've let you down. I didnt even make it out the hotel check in! There was a bar attached. Tomorrow is a new day. No.more posts from me tonight I'm ashamed.

Lightning Bug

What's done is done. Don't make it worse Ben. Don't stop posting. Stick around and get some help from everyone here so you won't keep going tonight. Don't let shame stand in your way of getting help.

Everydaysabonus

Oh Ben you haven't let us down. We want the best for you and are not here to judge you. Keep checking in.

ben83

Well it's 12:30 and I've had a few beers. Thankfully it's a very tame stag night I'll be in bed soon. Gonna try now for the 30th when the wedding is.