Dad23

Hey all,

I've been doing a lot of reading lately on the topic of "Choice Theory" and addictions. One of the topics it gets into is an analysis of WHY we drink.

Now, I always told myself that:

1. it helps me relax
2. it takes the edge off
3. its self medication
4. its numbing/anesthetizing
5. it relieves stress

And they all may be true - but this Choice Theory literature states that alcohol is used to that the drinker can establish CONTROL over their lives.

Looking back (as I'm now almost 11 weeks sober) I can see that I was using booze to make me feel "in control" of my life - even though I would then ironically drink until I was out of control. Typically, the more hectic my life got - the more I would seek a dose of "control" from a bottle!

The theory goes on to state that alcohol will initially give the drinker a better feeling of control and then - with subsequent drinks - the alcohol will make us "push farther" in expanding our control. This could possibly explain the drunken tendency towards poor decision making, drunken social media posts, being argumentative - and even worse: aggressiveness, drunk driving, violence, etc.

A lot of this Choice Theory stuff is making more and more sense to me - but there's something I haven't clicked with yet.

What do you think? Why did you drink?

least

I drank to medicate anxiety and depression, not knowing it makes those things worse.

jimmyhow

For me if I was completely honest, I started drinking to hide my social anxiety and to deal with my crushing awkwardness I had as a teenager that I just flatly didn't want to admit I had. Alcohol became that much of a crutch for me for that and every other problem, I thought I couldn't live without it. In truth it probably ended up ruining my life to some degree. What I should've done is deal with my problems instead of trying to drown them.

So here I am 20+ years later trying to cobble a hlaf decent life back together.

nova84

Congratulations on 11 weeks Dad23 👍

I drank to escape and numb myself from difficult thoughts and feelings. Also I had little self worth and so I also think part of it was to harm myself. Pretty sad really. So pleased that I finally realised I am worth far more x

StrongBird

I drank excessively to give me an excuse to think or say imperfect things. I could be raw and admit I was depressed or anxious or basically just not fine when I was drunk. I didn't allow myself to admit that otherwise; I just stuffed those feelings down. I don't really have social anxiety even sober but I would rather swim in a shark tank than admit, even to myself, that I'm scared.

stevepearce

Well done on 11 weeks Dad23 ! Fantastic ! Keep it up !
I started drinking because it felt good. I carried on drinking because it began to feel bad when I didn't. I've stopped drinking because it ended up feeling bad when I didn't and when I did.

Obladi

I drank because I liked to be drunk.
I liked to be drunk because it silenced me and my worries.

doggonecarl

I drank in the beginning because I liked the way alcohol made me feel.

At the end I drank because I didn't like how sobriety made me feel.

Plure

I drank at first because, like others, it made me feel better. Over time I realized how "helpful" it was with my anxiety / depression so it was full speed ahead. Of course all that was a lie as it took a progressive, almost imperceptibly slow, toll on my body and psyche. Glad this time I quit before it got too out of control, although I'm still paying with it by dizziness and anxiety. Glad to have SR!

breath

I was chasing something...I do not know what because I never found it.

Now I know a new freedom and a new happiness. I choose not to dwell on the past, I don't forget it, I just have better things to do than make sense of something I can not change

Soberwolf

Why don't you drink anymore is a better question I think

I drank because of my alcoholism I'm sober today as I accept my alcoholism & have learned how to live again through sobriety

nomis

If you are interested, there are scientific reasons that are rooted in neurobiology.

Alcoholism and addiction, are thought, by some, in the scientific community to be the result of something called a "Reward-deficit, stress surfeit" brain disorder.

Basically the brain doesn't produce enough good chemicals (dopamine) and too many of the bad ones (cortisol and adrenaline), and addiction is an attempt to self-medicate that condition. You can see more here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRFuypaq1lo

Thumpalumpacus

Anesthesia.