George16

It's 3 years and 4 days since I managed by some miracle to stop drinking.
I don't often dream or think about having a drink. ..but it scares me that I am probably only one drink away from going back to the nightmare of constantly needing and wanting a drink. It probably a heathy fear. This makes me feel like a newcomer to recovery every day.
Only alcoholics understand the urge to drink that fellow alcoholics have.
My family love our life now iam in recovery , it's changed our world for the better. I wish everyone who suffers from this disease the strength and drive to beat it.

mecanix

I find motivation in the fear of going back ,

keep on George

m

Dee74

Hi George

I still feel like a newcomer too - but in the sense of I'm still learning.

I also believe I'm only one drink away from disaster but I also feel that decision gets more and more remote for me with every year.

I might decide to swim in toxic waste, or whack some heroin into my arm, or play chicken with semis on the highway too - all possible decisions but very very unlikely

I have a sense of peace now I have no intention of losing
Congrats on your 3 years

D

saoutchik

I am glad you love your life in recovery George16 - congratulations on 3 years, awesome

Youcangetthere

Morning George, Ive just logged in and today is another day 1 for me. I hate it!!
Oh how I wish I could be telling your story.

George16

I had many day 1's also probably a decades worth. I finally admitted defeat on thinking I was strong enough to control my drinking,....... my health, my family and my soul were on the verge of extinction .

Soberwolf

Welcome George congratulations on 3+ years sobriety

FreeOwl

Congrats on three years!

I hope the fear you're describing is more the healthy kind of fear that keeps you aware - versus the struggling kind of fear that means you're finding yourself on edge.

If it's the latter, I wonder what steps you might take to help you settle more deeply into a grounded sobriety. We should not have to live in an anxious worry in recovery. Sounds like that's not where you are - but just in case, I thought I'd mention it.

I feel like the "newcomer for life" perspective is a good one. It's one of the reasons I have yet to really venture off this newcomer's forum and why I relish being with and around newcomers in the rooms. It keeps my head connected squarely to the reality of what my life was when I was drinking and helps keep my from getting off path or becoming susceptible to "just one or two won't hurt" kinds of thinking

JD

Thank you for posting George. It's good to hear from those with a fair amount of sobriety. AND, congrats on 3 years! That's impressive

PurpleKnight

3 Years is fantastic George!!

MIRecovery

I know more than I did and less than I should