I fell for the lie but I'm back!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Well done Tim.
Have you looked at the link about making plans that Dee often shares? It's very good.
Basically a plan can be made up of quite little things that you know will maximise your chance of staying sober. It might be things you do, and things you avoid. Eg.
It might acknowledge people, places and times that make sobriety difficult in some way, and how you can avoid them or deal with them proactively.
We can have everyday plans, and plans for specific occasions or events. (Including exit strategies)
How you're going to avoid certain triggers (such as the HALT triggers, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired).
How you will deal with cravings
Group support locally?
How you'll deal with anxiety or irritation etc
A lot of it is about thinking ahead so that when we're rattled we're not left trying to figure it out then, when our thinking might not be at its best, or we might have a very active AV. After all, the gym is great, but but can't do all of the above, even when you are fit and well. If exercise is your main coping strategy, what happens if you have an accident or get sick. Best get some more strategies in place, trialled and tested. That's how we build on our sobriety tool-kit and hive ourselves the best chance of avoiding a relapse.
Wishing you all the best in your recovery.
BB
Have you looked at the link about making plans that Dee often shares? It's very good.
Basically a plan can be made up of quite little things that you know will maximise your chance of staying sober. It might be things you do, and things you avoid. Eg.
It might acknowledge people, places and times that make sobriety difficult in some way, and how you can avoid them or deal with them proactively.
We can have everyday plans, and plans for specific occasions or events. (Including exit strategies)
How you're going to avoid certain triggers (such as the HALT triggers, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired).
How you will deal with cravings
Group support locally?
How you'll deal with anxiety or irritation etc
A lot of it is about thinking ahead so that when we're rattled we're not left trying to figure it out then, when our thinking might not be at its best, or we might have a very active AV. After all, the gym is great, but but can't do all of the above, even when you are fit and well. If exercise is your main coping strategy, what happens if you have an accident or get sick. Best get some more strategies in place, trialled and tested. That's how we build on our sobriety tool-kit and hive ourselves the best chance of avoiding a relapse.
Wishing you all the best in your recovery.
BB
Keep going, it gets better. Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 1
Thanks for sharing, I share your view and I Am an acoholic
Originally Posted by tim68 
My last post was May of 2014. I stayed sober for 30 days. My biggest accomplishment in years and years. I had a bad day and continued to drink on and and off until January of 2015. I tried again and made it 90 days until the end of April. One beer ruined it and I was ashamed. I just couldn't get the courage to come back here because of my shame. I'm coming back here today for strength. I wish I never left. I was getting back to drinking every other day and it's creeping towards every day and I've got to stop the madness once and for all. Nothing dramatic brought me here today other than being sick and tired of it all. Sick and tired of lying to myself of being able to control it. It controls me and Im just so mad about it trying to dominate me. I'm mad enough that I believe this could finally be the time I accept that I'm an alcoholic and that I'm powerless against it! Powerless? God I hate that! But I have to acknowledge it. Today I'm back to day one, and that's ok. I tried so many times to quit smoking and I'm proud to say my last smoke was 1994! I can overcome my drinking too. I refuse to quit getting up when I fall. I'm just so tired of falling for the lie that I can drink. I cannot! Ever. I made it 30 days, I made it 90 days. I have it in me, but I just have to leave the old me behind once and for all and not look back. I sure missed the kindness and understanding of you all here. I need you all. Thank you for being there when I needed you.
Introspectator
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 121
Glad to hear that you are still interested in sobriety. It is a hard pill to swallow. You have to lay it down and decide that "I'll never drink again. From there we need to re learn how to live. That is as hard as the quitting, and worth whatever it takes. Keep coming back.
Introspectator
Introspectator
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: TN
Posts: 114
Well....90 days of total sobriety today! I'm so happy to be back on my way of surpassing my last stretch of 90 days that I accomplished last year. My 90 days ended last year when I thought I could control it. Like everyone else it progressed over the the next 9 or 10 months and ended up worse than before in terms of consumption, hangover recovery time and health. To me, this stretch of 90 days has been much different from last year when I did it. As I look back on last year I think it was more of a test of if I could do it as opposed committing to a lifetime of change. A test of control which failed miserably of course. During this 90 days I really worked on myself mentally and physically. I feel amazing today. I'm also blown away by how alcohol , ever so slowly over time went from a feel good easy to recover from buzz....to a hellish poison that started causing all kinds of terrible side effects. First I'd like to say that all of the side effects now are completely gone thank God. I'd say it took no longer than a week. The scariest was low blood sugar. Shaky, cold, trembling, confused, vision would get blurry with weird bright squiggles. I guess my body was putting out too much insulin to process the alcohol. High blood pressure. I started for the first time ever grinding my teeth in my sleep which would leave my lower jaw in terrible pain the next day. I would have panic attacks for no reason. Many of these would occur while I was driving sober. Heart pounding thinking I was going to get killed by someone else on the road. Waking up at 2 a.m sweating thinking I'm going to die. Insomnia. Dizzy, shaky and nauseated some mornings. Warm, dry flaky skin. Red face. All of this...every single symptom was caused by the alcohol. It really is true how slow and progressive this disease can be.
Boy...I'm looking forward to day 91 and beyond tomorrow! I never want to revisit that hell again. I honestly love the new me and how I feel. Thanks to all that share their stories, understanding, compassion and love here on SR! You have helped me greatly!
Boy...I'm looking forward to day 91 and beyond tomorrow! I never want to revisit that hell again. I honestly love the new me and how I feel. Thanks to all that share their stories, understanding, compassion and love here on SR! You have helped me greatly!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: TN
Posts: 114
Thank you Dee and Dropsie! I have not white knuckled it nor have I breezed through the 90 days. My temptations are related to activities I enjoy rather than bad times or strife. Even though I've never met Dee, I hear him in my head saying "so what's your plan?" whenever I think I want a drink. My "plan" is to always stop and ask myself why I want the drink. And the only good answer has been because that's what I did when I was landscaping, polishing the cars or playing with the dog. When my dog hears me open a can of soda she gets soooo excited because she knows that means we are about to play ball! It just struck me how powerful just that sound can be of popping open a beverage. But then a relief comes over me knowing that the soda won't lead to a 12 pack of beer and a horrible hangover in the morning. My "plan" is always weighing the temporary relief of drinking to wind down from a hard day, to the hellish recovery of drinking again. It's not worth it. I keep reminding myself that my alcohol addiction got so bad it wasn't just a simple hangover anymore. Now it's progressed to panic attacks, high blood pressure spikes, low blood sugar crashes etc when i got drunk or when my body was recovering . My body has changed and I just don't want to play Russian Roulette anymore. My plan is staying healthy because this could be the last chance and I respect and fear it. I realize the absolute worst is just around the corner. I just simply want to be sober more than I want to drink. I'm willing to keep going as there really is no other alternative other than a death spiral if I were to drink again. What a miserable way to go. I just won't do that to myself, my wife or my family. A long time ago it took me 5 years to get over the loss of a previous relationship. There was no pill for that. The only thing that cured it was time. I didn't kill myself over it. I thought about it, but I just simply worked through it day by day. Lost love, quitting smoking 22 years ago and now quitting drinking. Its tough to say goodbye to habits of the past but it can be done. I truly believe that a love for self, life and others is the key for continued sobriety. I still have yet to have a day so bad that I felt worse then when recovering from an alcoholic binge! Feelings come and go I realized and I've just learning to take a deep breath and be proactive instead of reactive. Thank you all for being here and listening!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
