I Can't Let Go !
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by least 
I found my strength and willingness improved when I started to practice gratitude every day. Find at least one thing to be grateful for every day. Make it a habit. It changed my whole perspective. 
I interact with family doing A to Z gratitude texts........one simple word that follows the next letter.
Recently my daughter (school teacher) text that student was being obstinate. I sent it back on my gratitude list - Obstinate - I am grateful to be reminded of this as I can recall what I was like at 16 years old and can still be!
It all starts with gratitude imo as well
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by stevepearce
Do I need to do something to help shift my mental state ?
Or is this just a part of the recovery process I am going through ?
Steve.
Or is this just a part of the recovery process I am going through ?
Steve.
I'm probably white knuckling it...
white knuckling isnt part of the recovery process.
its part of the relapse process.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Hey there,
I’m right there with you as my sobriety date is the same as yours. I have had the day from hell. People cutting me off, my sponsor who also has problems hanging up on me, co-worker snapping her gum. A whole lot of bullpucky pissing me off!!!! Hang in there just be sober today. I keep thinking about “down the road” and how I’m going to be sober so long. I have to keep reminding myself to take it a day at a time.
Garrison
I’m right there with you as my sobriety date is the same as yours. I have had the day from hell. People cutting me off, my sponsor who also has problems hanging up on me, co-worker snapping her gum. A whole lot of bullpucky pissing me off!!!! Hang in there just be sober today. I keep thinking about “down the road” and how I’m going to be sober so long. I have to keep reminding myself to take it a day at a time.
Garrison
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 630
Steve,
First off, huge congrats on 6 weeks!
That is wonderful and life will continue to get better! I promise!
6 weeks is still very early sobriety. It takes a while for your brain to heal, but it will heal. Neurotransmitters and pleasure centers in the brain get messed up by drinking and everything will balance out with time. Not to mention the mess that is made of your sugar balance....but that will work out too!
I was very diligent with my sobriety in the beginning stages. I would have a plan where ever I went, and I expected people to urge me to drink. I would make a quick exit if that came about.....To my surprise that never happened and more people around me drank non-alcoholic drinks than alcoholic drinks???? How did that happen??
As time went on, I no longer felt deprived because I wasn't drinking, but rather lucky to be sober. There was a deep joy inside me, and I was SO grateful!
I felt good for the first time in a long time, really good! And I was starting to LOOK really good too. Weight peeled off, dark circles disappeared and the light came back to my eyes.
There was also a period right around 6 months where everything seemed "flat" and unexciting. That is a period to be hyper vigilant, and not give in to temptation. Another period of healing.....
That passed too, and things that I thought would never be any fun anymore were actually MORE fun! I enjoyed music MORE, friend's company MORE, parties MORE, and just life in general was better!!
So what I am trying to say is that things will get better, better than you can even imagine! All you have to do is hang in there!
I read this line somewhere, and it helped me to stay strong:
"If I have a drink today, I will have to go through everything that I have already gone through, only to get to where I am today." But if you push through you will be in a better place that you haven't been in a long time, once you are free of the alcohol demon, the sky is the limit for your life!
First off, huge congrats on 6 weeks!
That is wonderful and life will continue to get better! I promise!6 weeks is still very early sobriety. It takes a while for your brain to heal, but it will heal. Neurotransmitters and pleasure centers in the brain get messed up by drinking and everything will balance out with time. Not to mention the mess that is made of your sugar balance....but that will work out too!
I was very diligent with my sobriety in the beginning stages. I would have a plan where ever I went, and I expected people to urge me to drink. I would make a quick exit if that came about.....To my surprise that never happened and more people around me drank non-alcoholic drinks than alcoholic drinks???? How did that happen??
As time went on, I no longer felt deprived because I wasn't drinking, but rather lucky to be sober. There was a deep joy inside me, and I was SO grateful!
I felt good for the first time in a long time, really good! And I was starting to LOOK really good too. Weight peeled off, dark circles disappeared and the light came back to my eyes.
There was also a period right around 6 months where everything seemed "flat" and unexciting. That is a period to be hyper vigilant, and not give in to temptation. Another period of healing.....
That passed too, and things that I thought would never be any fun anymore were actually MORE fun! I enjoyed music MORE, friend's company MORE, parties MORE, and just life in general was better!!
So what I am trying to say is that things will get better, better than you can even imagine! All you have to do is hang in there!
I read this line somewhere, and it helped me to stay strong:
"If I have a drink today, I will have to go through everything that I have already gone through, only to get to where I am today." But if you push through you will be in a better place that you haven't been in a long time, once you are free of the alcohol demon, the sky is the limit for your life!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 245
FreeOwl makes a good point I can relate too.
My mind has turn from the "I can't drink anymore" into "I want to be sober"
It turned a "negative" thought about not drinking anymore into a positive decision for your life. At least that's how I'm viewing it today.
One way I look at it also is like this, if I miss the drinking, then I must miss the lying, being broke, hangovers, throwing up, blackouts, embarrassment, arguments, and the list goes on. Since I don't miss those things, it makes it easier for me to stay sober one more day.
Thanks for sharing, I was in your shoes at one point too so I understand.
My mind has turn from the "I can't drink anymore" into "I want to be sober"
It turned a "negative" thought about not drinking anymore into a positive decision for your life. At least that's how I'm viewing it today.
One way I look at it also is like this, if I miss the drinking, then I must miss the lying, being broke, hangovers, throwing up, blackouts, embarrassment, arguments, and the list goes on. Since I don't miss those things, it makes it easier for me to stay sober one more day.
Thanks for sharing, I was in your shoes at one point too so I understand.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Originally Posted by Zebra1275
It get's better.
Have you tried some face to face support in your area? I found that that connection really helped. Meeting people who look pretty normal, who have been sober for years, telling me how they used to drink (and it was often worse than me) gave me some hope.
Have you tried some face to face support in your area? I found that that connection really helped. Meeting people who look pretty normal, who have been sober for years, telling me how they used to drink (and it was often worse than me) gave me some hope.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 325
Thanks guys ! Yeah Dee I've read up on PAWS. I cracked before Christmas at this point because I was feeling bad and thought I should be over it. I now know better. Knowledge is key. I'm in it for the long haul. Whatever it takes. I want my life back !
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Originally Posted by stevepearce
Thanks guys ! Yeah Dee I've read up on PAWS. I cracked before Christmas at this point because I was feeling bad and thought I should be over it. I now know better. Knowledge is key. I'm in it for the long haul. Whatever it takes. I want my life back !
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Hi, Steve-
Congrats on 6 weeks! Great work posting when it is just one of those days.
I hear what you are saying. I knew how to not drink, but not how to be sober is how I remember thinking.
After making a post here when I was 100 some days, Fly-N-By suggested changing my mindset from "can't" to "don't want". It made all of the difference from that moment to think of sobriety as my choice.
Strategery suggested this which helped me also:
1. Think about how things were before you quit and how things are now. What has changed?
2. Think about what you like about being sober and what you hated when you were drinking.
3. Think about those cravings in early sobriety and how hard those were. Do you want to go through that again?
....and dox suggested the AA publication "Living Sober" which I downloaded and read, and still read.
Just thought I would pass those on as they were so helpful for me!
. It gets better!!
Congrats on 6 weeks! Great work posting when it is just one of those days.
I hear what you are saying. I knew how to not drink, but not how to be sober is how I remember thinking.
After making a post here when I was 100 some days, Fly-N-By suggested changing my mindset from "can't" to "don't want". It made all of the difference from that moment to think of sobriety as my choice.
Strategery suggested this which helped me also:
1. Think about how things were before you quit and how things are now. What has changed?
2. Think about what you like about being sober and what you hated when you were drinking.
3. Think about those cravings in early sobriety and how hard those were. Do you want to go through that again?
....and dox suggested the AA publication "Living Sober" which I downloaded and read, and still read.
Just thought I would pass those on as they were so helpful for me!
. It gets better!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 325
Thanks Dharma. Yeah it's about changing my mindset. And I'm not sure if that's something I can consciously do, or it just happens at some point along the sober road. Anyway I'm keeping busy. And I'm don't want to drink. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Steve, for what its worth, I'm experiencing many of those same feelings. I don't have an urge to drink. Alcohol is the least of my problems right now. But as I've been told, life is beginning to weigh on me a bit and my motivation is low. For the sake of both of us, I hope it improves, and I know it will. It has to.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
SP and Thomas,
I have been exactly where you are. We all have.
The real key is getting to the point not only where you not only prefer being sober but that you truly don't want to drink.
So not only accepting emotionally that we don't want to drink because of the consequences but simply we don't want to drink period. End of story.
Its an emotional thing for me. I don't want to drink because of what I KNOW will happen and because for me everything is so much better as a teetotaller. 100 percent acceptance of that. Truly.
But not quite at the point where I truly don't want to drink even if all those consequences would disappear.
I realise its a hypothetical so who cares, but I got to that point with smoking so I know its possible and I think that is where a lot of folks on this site are and what I want.
This is where the trust comes in for me. I have faith and trust that if I continue to follow my plan drinking will one day be a non-issue just like smoking is.
I truly believe that now. And the minute I added that faith to the acceptance I had before, its all so much easier.
I let the rock roll down hill instead of tying to push it back up.
And all the while staying diligent because our foe is mighty, but we are the storm.
We got this.
I have been exactly where you are. We all have.
The real key is getting to the point not only where you not only prefer being sober but that you truly don't want to drink.
So not only accepting emotionally that we don't want to drink because of the consequences but simply we don't want to drink period. End of story.
Its an emotional thing for me. I don't want to drink because of what I KNOW will happen and because for me everything is so much better as a teetotaller. 100 percent acceptance of that. Truly.
But not quite at the point where I truly don't want to drink even if all those consequences would disappear.
I realise its a hypothetical so who cares, but I got to that point with smoking so I know its possible and I think that is where a lot of folks on this site are and what I want.
This is where the trust comes in for me. I have faith and trust that if I continue to follow my plan drinking will one day be a non-issue just like smoking is.
I truly believe that now. And the minute I added that faith to the acceptance I had before, its all so much easier.
I let the rock roll down hill instead of tying to push it back up.
And all the while staying diligent because our foe is mighty, but we are the storm.
We got this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
When I entered recovery back in August 1990,
It wasn't my choice but was a family intervention
that got me the help I so needed at that time in
my life.
I went thru a 28 day instay rehab program
trying to absorb what all they were feeding
me about my addiction and teaching me a
program of recovery that I would have to use
on a daily bases if I wanted to remain sober.
A lot of what they talked to me about didn't
really make sense, but I still tried to my darness
to listen as intentively as I could as my life
depended on it.
When I returned home, I still had to complete
a 6 week outpatient aftercare program in which
I did as I continued on with my daily life as a mom
and wife.
All that was taught to me, suggested to me, and
even tho many things didn't make sense at that
time, I recall hearing this phrase, bring the body
and the mind will follow. What the heck does
that mean, I wondered, yet I brought my body
to many many many meetings going thru the
motions, listening, learning, absorbing and applying
what was being taught to me day after day I
remained sober.
As time went on, the program of recovery
began to make sense. I stopped whinning
about what I didn't understand and kept
on doing what was suggested and eventually
it all began to make sense to me.
That beginning was 25 yrs ago as I continue
on my recovery journey today passing on all
my ESH - experiences, strengths and hope to
others just beginning their own journey.
I brought my body to a many meetings over
the years and today I continue to bring my
body to my comfy chair and my mind here
to SR each day because I don't mind helping
you guys like so many helped me over the yrs.
to achieve sobriety, health, happiness and honesty.
Bring the body and the mind will follow..!!!!
It wasn't my choice but was a family intervention
that got me the help I so needed at that time in
my life.
I went thru a 28 day instay rehab program
trying to absorb what all they were feeding
me about my addiction and teaching me a
program of recovery that I would have to use
on a daily bases if I wanted to remain sober.
A lot of what they talked to me about didn't
really make sense, but I still tried to my darness
to listen as intentively as I could as my life
depended on it.
When I returned home, I still had to complete
a 6 week outpatient aftercare program in which
I did as I continued on with my daily life as a mom
and wife.
All that was taught to me, suggested to me, and
even tho many things didn't make sense at that
time, I recall hearing this phrase, bring the body
and the mind will follow. What the heck does
that mean, I wondered, yet I brought my body
to many many many meetings going thru the
motions, listening, learning, absorbing and applying
what was being taught to me day after day I
remained sober.
As time went on, the program of recovery
began to make sense. I stopped whinning
about what I didn't understand and kept
on doing what was suggested and eventually
it all began to make sense to me.
That beginning was 25 yrs ago as I continue
on my recovery journey today passing on all
my ESH - experiences, strengths and hope to
others just beginning their own journey.
I brought my body to a many meetings over
the years and today I continue to bring my
body to my comfy chair and my mind here
to SR each day because I don't mind helping
you guys like so many helped me over the yrs.
to achieve sobriety, health, happiness and honesty.
Bring the body and the mind will follow..!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 325
I'm good today. 6 weeks. Lots of different thoughts and views to take in. I'm coming to the conclusion - do what's you need to do not to drink and your body and mind will eventually heal, though this might take a year or 2. This might mean AA therapy etc, it might not. For me I'm just using SR and a few good friends who have gone through the same. If I get to point where I feel this isn't enough I'll do more. And I am totally clear in my mind that no matter how badly my AV romances me, alcohol harms me and my life, and in fact I haven't even enjoyed it for the last 5 or so years. So onward I go. Whatever and however long it takes ! Thanks guys.
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