Relapsed
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
You are like this because you are wired differently than those without drinking problems. It's not a choice. Your husband needs to do a little research on alcoholism or join al-anon before he encourages you to drink and then turns around judges you for doing so. I despise people who kick someone when they are down. I am a really lucky girl because my husband saw it as a disease that made me no longer be the woman he married. He was such a gift to me in early sobriety. Your husband making you feel like you are walking on egg shells is not helpful at all. If anything, it will serve as a trigger making you want to escape by drinking so you don't have to feel those feelings.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 204
Yes that's exactly how I feel right now. Walking on egg shells, waiting for him to go to bed so I can drink to get rid of the anxiety.
It all started with me being hungover, if he had held me stayed with me until it passed I would have been ok, but he got angry and left me alone so I drank. Here I am blaiming him. But I really do wish I had a strong supportive husband.
It all started with me being hungover, if he had held me stayed with me until it passed I would have been ok, but he got angry and left me alone so I drank. Here I am blaiming him. But I really do wish I had a strong supportive husband.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
We all have to get sober on our own I'm afraid. There is no strong supportive anyone that can do it for us. He may have encouraged you, but YOU made the decision to start drinking. Now, you will need to be the one to make the decision to stop. And the decision each day to not drink. And that's how you can stay sober.
Recovery may take more work - we all have our own issues. Thankfully AA and the 12-step program with a sponsor helped me to address mine, and will support me while I continue to work on myself to be the person I want to be, and not merely an addict responding to impulses, desires, and obsessions for instant gratification or escape.
It isn't easy, but (1) You can do it. And (2) It's worth doing it.
PS. Sometimes finding helpful answers has to start with asking helpful questions. Who to blame for our last drunk episodes and what is to blame for our alcoholism may not be the questions that will arm us with the best self-knowledge to get and keep us sober. Blame tends to lead to resentments. And justified or not, resentments are really, really bad for sobriety x
Recovery may take more work - we all have our own issues. Thankfully AA and the 12-step program with a sponsor helped me to address mine, and will support me while I continue to work on myself to be the person I want to be, and not merely an addict responding to impulses, desires, and obsessions for instant gratification or escape.
It isn't easy, but (1) You can do it. And (2) It's worth doing it.
PS. Sometimes finding helpful answers has to start with asking helpful questions. Who to blame for our last drunk episodes and what is to blame for our alcoholism may not be the questions that will arm us with the best self-knowledge to get and keep us sober. Blame tends to lead to resentments. And justified or not, resentments are really, really bad for sobriety x
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