Gonzoso

So I'm like 58 days sober and dealing with some crap this week. I've been dating this girl for about a year. I'm 30, she's 25.

Shortly after we started dating I got a great job offer and moved about 1.5 hours away from her. She still lives at home so usually she comes up to my house which I rent.

So since I've gotten sober I have had a lot of crap happen to me. 2 weeks sober I was bitten by a tick, which got infected possibly with lymes and I was on strong antibiotics which ruined my stomach for like 2-3 weeks.

Then a week ago I got sick and have had been getting over a cold for a week. So I had to work this Thanksgiving so I got to see none of my family.

Last thanksgiving I caught my gf cheating and dumped her the week before, my family went down south to see my sister and I got drunk for a week and didn't see anyone for thanksgiving.

So this thanksgiving I am going to have a small dinner at my parents house today, Friday after as I worked the day before. My girlfriend had a rough day yesterday and just texted me and said she wouldn't be able to make it, then a long series of texts which is leading me to the conclusion it sounds like we'll likely be done.

I live in a rural area where I don't know anyone. I am 1-2 hours from my friends and family and it's been hard for me, the highlight of my week was having my girlfriend come visit me for our weekend together.

I just wanted to vent, this **** sucks, and I just need to not drink, go to meetings(I've been doing AA) and it will be ok.

Also on a side note she's not alcoholic but smokes pot which kind of bugs me as she smokes it all the time for her anxiety. Not sure where all this is going.

feeling-good

No advice really, but just wishes for your continued sobriety and strength for you in dealing with things with your girlfriend - whatever will be will be

biminiblue

I hope you enjoy your day today, and can put aside your fears about the relationship. What will be will be with the GF. Sounds like it is becoming more a chore than a blessing, though.

Congrats on your sobriety and the great job.

*edit: Oh, that was a year ago.

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you Gonzoso congrats on 58 days bud

wehav2day

Congrats on 58 days!! Your sobriety is a precious gift, it can see you through breakups and make ups and bad times and good times. Sobriety is one thing you can count on. It's yours forever if you take care of it.

Everything else will right itself. If this girl is right for you, you two will work it out. If she's not, better to know now than a year or two more down the road. ...

Zebra1275

Congratulations on 58 days. By the end of the weekend you should be in the 60's.

Obviously, I know nothing about you relationship with your girlfriend. However, it seems dangerous for someone trying to get sober to have a girlfiend who smokes pot all of the time. It might become too easy for you to substitute pot for alcohol, and basically trade one addication for another.

FLCamper

Congrats on your 58 days! sounds like a real trial by fire. Despite those set backs, you hung in there. That's fantastic.

SoberLife90

Nothing you should drink over. I'm sure you miss her company but she's not the only girl in the world. Don't let it get you down. What is important is your sobriety. Great job. Take it one day at a time and keep hitting thise meetings and stay in contact with AAers. Goodluck

advbike

Great job on almost two months. That's huge. Lots of women at your age, put your sobriety first man. If she's a pothead you can do better, and like someone else mentioned, you might be tempted to go down that path too.

escapist

Good job with 58 days sober. That is an accomplishment ! Our relationships change when we get sober I think. I know what worked for me when I was drinking did not work once I sobered up. You are young and life moves quickly. Who knows , a year from now you may look back on today and be grateful this girl left. It happens.

grocerease

I say if you're not happy in your new local make some plans to move to a place where you can be happy. You deserve it.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome to SR, Gonzoso! I'm sorry for all the crap going on in your life but I'm glad you found us here. I can empathize with you since I've faced a lot of that stuff, too. A month ago I moved from my adopted hometown of 25 years where all my family live to a small town in a neighboring state. I moved for a job which I like and which keeps me busy, but I don't really know anyone here and there's really nothing to do in town. I'm not just saying that, either- aside from some bars there's virtually nothing in this little town save one movie theater with one screen.

I think you'll probably hear this from other members here but keep your chin up and stay strong in sobriety! The other stuff will flow from that. Maybe things will work out with your GF but if not you will be okay (even if it sucks for awhile). Her being a pot smoker is a near deal-breaker or at least it would be for me. I'm not really opposed to weed per se but I don't want to be around it, nor would I want to build a life with someone who was going to have drugs around. It's challenge enough to stay sober without dealing with drunks and drug users, and really tough if they're gonna have it in the home.

Maybe this is kind of a period of transition for you. Getting sober is a big adjustment, and sometimes romantic relationships don't survive it. You are probably not the person you were a year ago and that can alter the dynamics of the relationship.

Hang in there, Gonzoso! Bad times generally don't last, especially if you work on the positives in your life.

Dee74

I'm sorry about (maybe) being dumped. Thats never a nice thing.

Recovery is all about new beginnings tho so maybe in the grand scheme of things a clearing of the decks might not end up so bad in hindsight?

congrats on 58 days - great going

D

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Gonzoso!!