vendetta

I'm sure this has been discussed but my browser/tablet won't let me use the search function. So any advice or a link to a good thread would be appreciated. I still feel like a newcomer so I'm posting this here. Sorry if it needs to be moved.

I've found my addiction was rooted in some mental/emotional issues. I've had a hard time finding a therapist / psycholgist locally. I'm looking for advice on choosing the right one to help me help myself. Any advice would be appreciated.
V

FreeOwl

If you have a sense of what your specific issues, needs, history and situation is look for one with depth of experience in related counseling.

If you're not quite sure, go try a couple and see how they feel to you. Counseling is a very personal process and sometimes it takes a little searching to find the right fit.

Anna

I think you could read any information available on each therapist and see if they offer what you would like. You might have to try one or two before you get one that works out for you.

And, I know that many of us have used alcohol to self-medicate. You will be able to work through this!

Dee74

No experience to share Vendetta but the advice so far seems pretty sound.
How's your recovery going?

D

vendetta

Dee74.... good or bad guess it depends on how you look at it. Lots of self discovery. No withdrawals though so that's good. I still fall on my face every once in a while. It's funny how hard it is to not drink and have to face who I am . And wow, triggers, so important.

I've tried on the net to look for someone local. There are only a few females. I know me and my ego I wouldn't open up to another guy like I know I need to. The few that I've found are either overbooked or focus on children.

vendetta

I'm as stubborn as a nail in a rough cut barn board.

Dee74

well good luck with finding someone. I know I drank for underlying reasons.

Working on those reasons alone didn't stop me drinking, cos I was addicted by that time, but it did help me stay stopped.

D

Marcher13

Vendetta I know medical systems are different everywhere, here in Australia we would go to a GP and then be referred to someone. Can your GP help in that way?

Venecia

Vendetta, if you live in the United States, a consultation with an addiction medicine physician may be helpful. They are board-certified physicians who trained specially in treating addiction.

What is an Addiction Specialist-

I wish SR could include this information somewhere on the site.

vendetta

Dee74... My name is V. I'm a alcoholic. But I want to find out what made me this way. When i find peace I have no problem not drinking. Its not denial. I still know if I have 1 drink it will lead to 100. I made it a chemical dependence.
Marcher13... I don't have a GP. I never go to a doctor. Guess maybe I should get one.
Anna.... I have been looking at specialities. I look for addiction and depression. But I've only found 3 in my area. One seems to be focused on children. One is overbooked. And the last just seams self appointed and that's not what I need.

vendetta

Venecia... I really don't want to take medicine.

Venecia

I understand. Just so you know, seeing an addiction med doc is not synonymous with getting medication.

vendetta

I thought that surrendering and reaching out to my family and friends would help. But it didnt. Today I walked in to my mom and dads house. My sister called wile I was there. I could hear them talking about me on the phone.

I don't know why they don't just talk to me???

Gottalife

Apparently there are three types of therapist, and the effect of the chosen therapy is influenced upto 90% by the therapist, so it seems important to get a good one.

First there is the toxic, controlling therapist. That doesn't sound too helpful.

Then there is the one your really like, get on well with, look forward to seeing each week. A real nice guy, who is so nice that he wouldn't risk hurting your feelings by actually working through any issues. This therapist is popular, but doesn't make much clinical progress. Not so good after all.

Then there is the one who is straight up about the therapy and the process, knows what he is there for, and will most likely make you uncomfortable at times, in order to make progress. This is the guy who will make the therapy work for you.

FeelingGreat

V, excuse the rave, but you sound like a typical bloke, won't open up to another bloke, never goes to the doctor etc and then you wonder why you struggle.

I don't mean this harshly, truly, just that I want to slap you! Look I'm a recovered A, female, and I know that I had to bury my false pride and make some admissions to my doctor. It's hard to get the words out even, but you can write it down, and the doc won't turn a hair, I promise.

Alcohol is just part of you overall health picture. I'm not sure how old you are, but let's say young middle aged. Find a doc you like, schedule a range of tests which will give the doc a picture of your health, like cholesterol, BP, sugars etc. If there are any red flags you get the chance to change things before they become much more serious.

Once you have a picture of your health, stick to your doc and collaborate with him/her in looking after yourself. They can't do it for you, but they can be wonderful partners if you persist with same doc. Once they get to know you, they will become much more invested in your outcomes.

I know this isn't about a therapist, which was your original question, but a bit of self-love and care goes a long way. You might find it easier if you swallow your pride, look after yourself and see where it takes you.

fantail

Respectfully, this isn't the case. This is like saying "There are three types of fireman. One who can't live without the adrenaline. One who has a huge ego. And one who's a hero. You better hope you get the right one."

There are many kinds of therapies and many individuals who practice within those types. Some fit well with different types of patients.

V, it's almost always best to get a referral from someone. I've found the internet to be a very poor resource for medical resources. A lot of doctors aren't listed there, and the ones that are often aren't great.

If you feel comfortable asking your doctor for a recommendation, that's the best route. Second to that, I'd look up a respected medical center near you (like a university medical center in a nearby city, if you're somewhere smaller) and ask them about therapists in your area. You can also call your insurance company and ask them for a list.

Good luck. Be prepared to try a few people before you get the right fit.

Soberwolf

Hi Vendetta getting back in touch with a GP has made my life worth living again I told them the situation and they have helped me with so much Inc physiotherapy, treating a serious ear infection, alopecia (still getting treated) & talking therapy I'm currently doing something called CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy)

It was the GP who referred me to the talking therapy & to all the specialists I've seen since getting sober

Before that it was years of not seeing & not trusting no Dr's i get what you say about not trusting men I'm male btw

My best advice to you Vendetta would be go to 3 diffrent Gp's after reviewing in your area & see what feels right ?

It changed & saved my life

MIRecovery

Although I have spent a small fortune on professional help my real healing came from working the 12 steps. The professional help was a good thing but the steps took me to the root of my problems. Fear, ego, sex, and resentments. That is where my problems lay.

Sobriety is about willingness to do anything to get and stay sober. We need to stop fighting everything and everyone. We need to surrender. I have found surrender is nothing more than joining the winning side

You say you are stubborn. Being stubborn is all wound up in fear and ego and will ****** your recovery for as long as choose to engage this behavior. Persistence is a good thing. Persistence is the willingness to see things through and never give up.

You ask the million dollar question. The holy grail of the alcoholic, "Why am I alcoholic?" This is a question I gave up on a number of years ago. I simply am and it is no more complicated than that. The only real difference is what am I doing about it. What am I doing the constitutes real change.

Although I am not seeing anyone professionally right now. I would seek someone who is in recovery and has been for a long time. Us alcoholics are experts in lies, half truths, and manipulation. The only people that can see through our BS are people that are experts in lies, half truths, and manipulation and those are people who have lived our lives.

ByTheBay

Hi V,

Good advice in this thread. Can you schedule with the overbooked one and ask them to move you up if there’s a cancellation? (If your schedule allows you to go in on short notice.) Counselors and psychiatrists are notoriously overbooked, at least here in the U.S. I had to schedule my initial psychiatrist visit 3 months in advance but ended up being seen before then. Once you have the initial visit, you get slotted into their ongoing schedule, and you don’t have the long wait times.

I wish I knew why I’m an alcoholic, because then maybe I could fix that specifically once and for all and not waste time on trial and error and maintenance, right? I wish this all the time. I don’t think I’ll get an answer.

What’s helping me is reading tons about mind-body-habit formation-neuroplasticity-mindfulness. It appeals to the fixer in me. Yeah, I know the research is always evolving, and there’s no silver bullet, but being informed makes me more confident, which makes it simpler (if not less painful) to take the next right action in the present moment. I recommend “Beyond the Influence” by Ketcham, and “The Power of Habit” by Duhigg (not about addiction per se, but habit formation and habit replacement). I also echo the recommendations on SR for Eckhart Tolle’s work. That’s more on mindfulness. There’s a sticky thread here on SR with reading recommendations.

You’ve got this. It’s gonna suck sometimes, but you’ve got it!

BTB