A commentary on blame
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by Time2Rise 
I don't believe that sentiment would go over too well with those who were victims of childhood violence and sexual abuse. I personally try to avoid generalizations when it comes to blame or not blaming. I believe there are times when assigning blame is helpful. However, it is equally important to find ways to deal with and process any past trauma, and looking for "one's part in it" isn't a valid way to do that (actually, I believe it could be quite harmful).
The sentiment is relating to the choice of drinking, nothing more.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Originally Posted by MythOfSisyphus
That reminds me of the old Buddhist parable; it talks about a person with an arrow stuck in his arm. Would abstain from taking action until he knew who fired the arrow, what the shaft was made from, how feathers were in the fletching, why the person shot him, and so on and so forth? Of course not! None of those details is important compared to the need to actually treat the wound.
There are lots of reasons people want to assign blame, and some are probably at least somewhat valid. But blame is secondary to actually solving the problem!
Thanks for another thought provoking post, Ken!
There are lots of reasons people want to assign blame, and some are probably at least somewhat valid. But blame is secondary to actually solving the problem!
Thanks for another thought provoking post, Ken!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by Fly N Buy
I voluntarily opened my mouth and poured alcohol in it, many times. Many have had the experiences you mention and did not drink.
The sentiment is relating to the choice of drinking, nothing more.
The sentiment is relating to the choice of drinking, nothing more.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 170
When it comes to quitting drinking, only one thing matters, and that is not ingesting alcohol.
Philosophical discussions about blame, responsibility, fault-finding, etc. are just sideshows that inevitably lead far away from the most important point, and that is not ingesting alcohol.
The only profitable line of inquiry regarding responsibility is the obvious one: anyone who voluntarily ingests alcohol is responsible for doing so.
Philosophical discussions about blame, responsibility, fault-finding, etc. are just sideshows that inevitably lead far away from the most important point, and that is not ingesting alcohol.
The only profitable line of inquiry regarding responsibility is the obvious one: anyone who voluntarily ingests alcohol is responsible for doing so.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,355
Originally Posted by Greenwood618
When it comes to quitting drinking, only one thing matters, and that is not ingesting alcohol.
Philosophical discussions about blame, responsibility, fault-finding, etc. are just sideshows that inevitably lead far away from the most important point, and that is not ingesting alcohol.
The only profitable line of inquiry regarding responsibility is the obvious one: anyone who voluntarily ingests alcohol is responsible for doing so.
Philosophical discussions about blame, responsibility, fault-finding, etc. are just sideshows that inevitably lead far away from the most important point, and that is not ingesting alcohol.
The only profitable line of inquiry regarding responsibility is the obvious one: anyone who voluntarily ingests alcohol is responsible for doing so.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 508
Very thought provoking topic this one... Blame, guilt or the opposite?
Part 1 no more alcohol works fine but psychological patterns of the brain need to be 're-wired' to suit the individual.
When I blamed others for my problems they told me I was wrong, take a look at myself.
I took a look at myself, I stopped drinking and started taking a harder look. Blame becomes counter-productive whether aimed at others/outside influence or directed at the self. I think the blaming is part of the denial process.
Responsibility for ourselves as adults should be optimum above blame and it can become just another vicious circle or excuse to continue self-destructive habits IMHO.
So true that, regardless of alcohol, the blame game is no route to fixing anything, someone has to take responsibility eventually.
I choose to take responsibility for myself and try not to blame but to accept what was and is.
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
Part 1 no more alcohol works fine but psychological patterns of the brain need to be 're-wired' to suit the individual.
When I blamed others for my problems they told me I was wrong, take a look at myself.
I took a look at myself, I stopped drinking and started taking a harder look. Blame becomes counter-productive whether aimed at others/outside influence or directed at the self. I think the blaming is part of the denial process.
Responsibility for ourselves as adults should be optimum above blame and it can become just another vicious circle or excuse to continue self-destructive habits IMHO.
So true that, regardless of alcohol, the blame game is no route to fixing anything, someone has to take responsibility eventually.
I choose to take responsibility for myself and try not to blame but to accept what was and is.
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
What an intriguing thread. I like this story about the arrow. Thank you for sharing it!
Here is a fun short on Blame. It is so funny as it is a very human story, but then Brene Brown summarizes her research on blame and it is fascinating. I was raised to go into any situation ready to deflect criticism, not listen, and play the blame game.
http://youtu.be/RZWf2_2L2v8
Here is a fun short on Blame. It is so funny as it is a very human story, but then Brene Brown summarizes her research on blame and it is fascinating. I was raised to go into any situation ready to deflect criticism, not listen, and play the blame game.
http://youtu.be/RZWf2_2L2v8
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Acceptance , unconditional sobriety .
I didn't find a magic key to make getting sober easy , I didn't find a magic idea or philosophy which held the answer. I didn't need to find an angle to argue or debate i just needed to do .
I procrastinated and went all around the houses looking for answers because i didn't like the answer i'd found already and which all of us know but don't like the taste of .
Never drink again no matter what .
You don't like pain ? you don't like misery ? well that is all part of life at first i think alcohol gives us some slippage but that soon goes and it just causes more misery than not .
life is a terminal illness from the moment you are born , get used to it jack .
Who am i to expect a life of unending happiness or beatitude .
There are lots of pedlars in the market places with their books and ways, notice how we all pay for their exalted existence and have to listen quietly as if what they have to say is of some special import , it makes me laugh .
\
A load of people paying to be sat round in a room being quiet in expecive minimalism , Ha ! I sat quietly and then this body had the noise of blood rushing in it's ears … This is life accept it ..
I have more than anyone born in this world could reasonably expect , you have access to an internet that probably puts you in the top 50% of the world too and still you think there is something better , something more .
Give it up i say and go and do something more interesting ,
Bestwishes, m
I didn't find a magic key to make getting sober easy , I didn't find a magic idea or philosophy which held the answer. I didn't need to find an angle to argue or debate i just needed to do .
I procrastinated and went all around the houses looking for answers because i didn't like the answer i'd found already and which all of us know but don't like the taste of .
Never drink again no matter what .
You don't like pain ? you don't like misery ? well that is all part of life at first i think alcohol gives us some slippage but that soon goes and it just causes more misery than not .
life is a terminal illness from the moment you are born , get used to it jack .
Who am i to expect a life of unending happiness or beatitude .
There are lots of pedlars in the market places with their books and ways, notice how we all pay for their exalted existence and have to listen quietly as if what they have to say is of some special import , it makes me laugh .
\
A load of people paying to be sat round in a room being quiet in expecive minimalism , Ha ! I sat quietly and then this body had the noise of blood rushing in it's ears … This is life accept it ..
I have more than anyone born in this world could reasonably expect , you have access to an internet that probably puts you in the top 50% of the world too and still you think there is something better , something more .
Give it up i say and go and do something more interesting ,
Bestwishes, m
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