Things still suck even without drinking
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
Life has dumped some significant crap on me over the past two months.
There have been a couple of times when I thought about drinking. The first time, I was away on business for a couple of days, and then my wife left me home alone while she was away for a few days. In the past, this would have been all I needed to have a couple day bender. Since I'm not feeling good about this situation in my life, I know I can change the way I feel in about 10 minutes by cracking open a beer and throwing down a shot of vodka.
But I did't do it, and I don't think I will. After about 1000 different experiments over the years, I've finally learned that alcohol doesn't solve my problems. It just makes me less capable of solving problems on my own, while adding in misery, self loathing, anxiety, and a bunch of other negative feelings.
Alcohol might make me feel better for a few hours, but then I will feel miserable about my drinking for weeks.
There have been a couple of times when I thought about drinking. The first time, I was away on business for a couple of days, and then my wife left me home alone while she was away for a few days. In the past, this would have been all I needed to have a couple day bender. Since I'm not feeling good about this situation in my life, I know I can change the way I feel in about 10 minutes by cracking open a beer and throwing down a shot of vodka.
But I did't do it, and I don't think I will. After about 1000 different experiments over the years, I've finally learned that alcohol doesn't solve my problems. It just makes me less capable of solving problems on my own, while adding in misery, self loathing, anxiety, and a bunch of other negative feelings.
Alcohol might make me feel better for a few hours, but then I will feel miserable about my drinking for weeks.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
My experience so far is no desire to drink at all.. i know exactly what got me to this point of my life (starting over) and alcohol has burnt me for the last time.. i cant even in my own sick mind justify taking a lousy drink again. whats difficult and i agree with your post, is dealing with all the loss, uncertainty, pain, and healing process. The one door close thing, but only god knows how long the hallway will be.. the best we can do i guess is try to stay positve and not think of all the carnage we cause will this stupid illness.." we are like tornados " i couldnt agree with the "big book" more
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Without getting into detail, I lost my job because of alcohol. My spouse was completely dependent on me. We came up with a plan - a plan on how to move forward with our lives.
I was untouchable in my field - basically blackballed. I did not quit drinking until this happened. I made a vow to never allow alcohol to affect my life again.
Life goes on for me. I am managing and we are working it out. I still have a way to go as far as becoming 'employable' again - in my field or similar.
I could have said -F- it, it doesn't matter anymore. But I didn't.
Having experienced hard times in the past, I know that in time I will resume my part and find a niche that will allow me to be productive and earn income. I am running out of time because the two year cushion I had to make my house payment is getting thin. I'm not going to drink over it. I was fortunate to have been able to create such a cushion. Life is completely different than it was. Amazingly, my mind and sense of self worth has grown tremendously since I gave up alcohol. Having read much on the Buddhist principles have helped me in that manner. I am not preaching to adopt any type of religion or philosophy. But, being able to accept life as it is and be happy with whatever befalls me is something I never would have learned if the bad things had never happened.
I am a completely different person and my view of life has changed beyond description. I'm far from perfect, though I am in a much better place emotionally and mentally than I have ever been.
We persevere. We rebuild. We move forward.
I was untouchable in my field - basically blackballed. I did not quit drinking until this happened. I made a vow to never allow alcohol to affect my life again.
Life goes on for me. I am managing and we are working it out. I still have a way to go as far as becoming 'employable' again - in my field or similar.
I could have said -F- it, it doesn't matter anymore. But I didn't.
Having experienced hard times in the past, I know that in time I will resume my part and find a niche that will allow me to be productive and earn income. I am running out of time because the two year cushion I had to make my house payment is getting thin. I'm not going to drink over it. I was fortunate to have been able to create such a cushion. Life is completely different than it was. Amazingly, my mind and sense of self worth has grown tremendously since I gave up alcohol. Having read much on the Buddhist principles have helped me in that manner. I am not preaching to adopt any type of religion or philosophy. But, being able to accept life as it is and be happy with whatever befalls me is something I never would have learned if the bad things had never happened.
I am a completely different person and my view of life has changed beyond description. I'm far from perfect, though I am in a much better place emotionally and mentally than I have ever been.
We persevere. We rebuild. We move forward.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
Originally Posted by zombob 
Jobs come and go. Maybe 2nd dui? medical field? Companies do stuff like that these days. 30 yrs. ago it would be considered unconstitutional to deny a person employment based on their past legal wranglings--not so anymore. You sound resourceful--money will come. Chances of success dwindle considerably if we continue to drink. Here's a simple illustration \ . I'm a good example. Can't legally drive till 2024 from multiple dui's and convicted felon status stops 80% of interviews before they even get started. Think w/out the drink unless you really like the brink.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 266
I know this doesn't help but just know you are not alone in thinking life sucks. I have tried so hard this past couple months to stay sober and i keep faltering because i just keep getting so much crap thrown on me. Mother in law with cancer, fights with my husband, money issues, my son behaving horribly at school and being called down almost daily to deal with it. I just keep thinking why is this happening to me? But you know what it could be worse, for you and for me, right? And let me tell you i have been drinking through a lot of this and is has not helped at all. I feel even worse about everything because of drinking. So hang in there. Some how as clique as this may sound, things all work out, right? lol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
I have an interview tomorrow morning already. Hope it works out as this is a higher paying job than where I was let go from. I can't be without 2 jobs for to long. I'm thankful I still have my main source of income because to this day I'm still scratching my head how in the hell I'm still employed by them. My last DUI in August should've gotten me fired as I was missing for a few days and didn't talk to my bosses.
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