strategery

Dru-seriously do not do it. With my second relapse when I was early on here, I decided I was going to drink. I had just gotten past the cravings. I thought for sure I wasn't going to have to deal with those cravings again even if I drank. I was never so wrong in my life. I had to rebattle out those cravings for another 10 days.I was seriously angry at myself for doing that and it was that experience that solidified that drinking was not worth it since battling those cravings is hard. I had no idea that drinking one night would result in a week and a half worth of cravings. Not worth it at all.

I think one of the things about addiction is the AV tries to convince us that we can manage it. I thought I could moderate when I first got here and realized I was very wrong on that account. While I was good at moderating maybe once or twice, it quickly spiraled out of control. While I can relate to the scariness of never being able to drink again, one of the things I like to focus on is that I never have to feel embarrassed for anything I've done again or deal with the super hard cravings in early sobriety if I stay sober.

elsker

Scott is right about the wedding...as long as you show up to the ceremony, it's all good. There's no need to go to the reception.

It sounds like you're planning a slip.

Carver

Yeah, that's control. Your addiction controlling YOU. Sorry mate, but we've all done it, and we know where it leads. So do you, really.

You're doing really well...why not keep doing it?

dru1085

Thanks Carver. Means a lot

tursiops999

Around 2 - 3 weeks sober was when my AV took its first serious run at me. I felt so good, and clearly everything was fine now, and oh all that fuss about maybe being an alcoholic was probably just a big misunderstanding. I really don't belong with all these people who have decided to give up alcohol forever and have all these problems.

Fortunately I spoke those words out loud to some other alcoholics, and realized it was just the AV (although I didn't know it was called an AV then), and I kept working on my recovery. I'm glad I did, because I have a year of amazing positive changes in my life. Who knows where I'd be if I listened to that bugger.

chickippo

i'm nearly 18 months sober and it gets much, much easier. i don't think about drinking, i don't miss it, i don't want to do it again.

i won't take a drink because if i let the Beast out of the box i don't know if i have the strength to lock him back in again.

Madmartigan

Dru,

I understand where you are coming from. I'm in a similar situation but it's not until next september. Slightly different as the wedding I'll be attending is my own. Still not sure how I'm going to handle that. Luckily I have plenty of time to prepare myself. I've never been at a wedding aND been sober. Then again there are a lot of things in life I have yet to do sober. So far, everything is better sober and I actually remember it. Stay strong buddy.

SoberCAH

I wouldn't come close to putting myself in that situation.

The party could go on without me just fine.

Along with sobriety comes sacrifice.

But the sober lifestyle I have had since the day I walked into the treatment center dwarfs the sacrifices I have made along the way.

SoberCAH

Alcholism and relapse are extremely serious and unforgiving matters.

The choice you make on this matter could have life or death implications.

If I could take a couple of drinks and not have to worry about getting back on the alcoholic merry-go-round the next day, I wouldn't be on this discussion board.

But I can't do that, I just keep drinking and drinking until awful consequences start piling up.

As a result, I take my sobriety very seriously.

I hope you make the right choice on this.

least

Go to the wedding and skip the reception.

leftzing

So when I was 3 months sober, I had to fly to Alaska and be the best man in a friends wedding. First of all, I would always avoid situations where I am tempted to drink. I still do to this day. But, this was unavoidable.

First thing I did was lookup meetings on the internet. Alaska is full of them. My mom was also with me and she supported me by not drinking. I have a feeling my friend told people in the wedding party not to offer me a drink, so that helped.

I had a great time, I had people crying during the best man speech (and I was doing it off the top of my head). I didn't really even think of drinking and all the beer was homebrewed craft beer (I was a craftbeer geek, I though it legitimized my drinking lol).

My friends sister has been to treatment but it hasn't stuck. She ended up making a total fool of herself that night. She also kept talking to me about getting sober and stating why AA doesn't work for her. It was very sad.

When I am going into a situation where there might be alcohol, I have to plan, plan, plan. I am totally fine when my family and friends have a few beers with dinner, but a wedding is a different story.

Also think hard if you even need to go to the wedding.... if your friends will not understand you not going because what you are trying to do then that should cause some reflection.

RogerD

I find it helpful when I start anticipating events and worrying about the drinking to focus on now. I just say for the next hour, I'm not going to the liquor store or bar and I won't drink. I take two or three days in the future out of the picture. Just not drinking right now and today. It helps settle me. Gets me out of thinking over the million what ifs or maybes

helpimalive

DON'T DO IT.

Don't. Do. It.

Don't do it.

Reading this thread is weird for me. I'm going to a family open-bar wedding this weekend, too. And we have the same exact sobriety date. So that's why the all caps, I guess :p

Look, risk/reward.

Risk: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-destroy.html

Reward: A brief buzz.

What kind of mind would look at that risk/reward balance and say,

Yes yes. Let's risk that. That is a reasonable potential loss for that gain.

I know you're hoping you'll be back in control. I've heard of there being that one in a million who does regain control. You want to be that one. That's like expecting to win the lottery, except if you lose you don't just lose your $5 or whatever, you maybe loose your entire actual future.

You're 18 days sober. You're not back in control, you're just forgetting how bad it was drinking without knowing how good it could get sober, maybe. You're easy pray, or at least I know I am at 18 days sober. That's why this thread is terrifying.

What day's the wedding? The one I'm going to is on Saturday. I plan to live-post to a thread on here in case I get tempted.

Here's some light reading for when you have a moment at the reception maybe:

--a recent SR convo about how alcohol could easily kill you tonight http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...loss-life.html

--a fun newspaper article about how possible it is for drinkers to develop liver disease in their 20s and 30s, even though most think that kind of thing is for older people: http://www.theguardian.com/news/2007...rugsandalcohol

--And then, I won't link to it, but read your first thread you posted here, on Sept. 25. That guy would tell you not to drink at this wedding.

I apologize if any of this post is overstepping or worded inappropriately :/ It's possible I'm projecting.

(Edited for mobile formatting failures :/ )

bullmas

"I am contemplating just having a few drinks for the weekend of my Sisters wedding in California (never been). When I return home to Texas I am going to pick up where I left off on my sober journey. "

Myself I can't afford the risk, I would play it safe with club soda in a wine glass,
because I'm there for the wedding not the booze.

MelindaFlowers

I don't contemplate it anymore. Drinking is not an option for me.

And actually, I don't think about it anymore either. I am comfortable as a non drinker.

Honestly though, a year ago I did not believe I would ever say this. Ever. Me? I would've thought you were kidding if you told me if ever get to a place where I felt content not drinking.

Just like anything, the longer you're away from it the less you think about it. But I'm here on SR as an insurance policy.

It's actually really nice to not worry about it anymore.