Nowsthetime

Hi guys:

I'm 35 and it wouldn't be tripping just a body buzz and it would be just the two of us, but even with a little bit, I have always hated it. I have done them a few times and it has never given me any actual pleasure. One time I had fun. Other than that it was horrible for me because I'm really mental. I don't understand why he wouldn't just support me in what I want. I am not asking him to change any of his behaviors. He always speaks of not being on the same level. First with booze, now with this.

I feel so weak. My rational mind says something but then I go another way... On the outside it doesn't affect anything but I know it can't be good for me and for my mind. I'm going to keep trying.

Dee74

The bottom line is theres no reason for you to do something you hate Nows.

There must be any number of other healthier more positive shared experiences you and your husband could do to feel like a couple?

D

Dee74

Welcome erin - you'll find a lot of support here - I think support really makes a difference

D

racingthoughts

So you don't live on a farm and your husband might not have the problem I assumed he did. My bad for making assumptions. Regardless, I think it's concerning that he's so hellbent on having you get intoxicated on something with him. Idk if he's trying to relive the past or what, but you've got to firmly decide and declare that that part of your life's over. You wouldn't be here if it was still fun. And yea, you two wouldn't be on the same level if you're clean and he's still smoking/drinking/tripping. If you get clean, he'll have to decide whether connecting with his wife is more important than doing drugs.

It's funny you bring up mushrooms. During my six months clean from weed a year ago, I did them twice. I thought "hey, mushrooms aren't addictive, so that means I'm totally okay to do them". I now realize that this was my addicted brain trying to convince me to do anything to alter my state. Anyways, so when I did mushrooms, the experience was fine, but as I was coming down/the next day I began craving weed REALLY bad. It seemed stupid to me that I was down to do mushrooms but not down to smoke. I didn't smoke then, but came dangerously close. They activated that reward center in my brain. Please don't do them just to make your husband happy. When trying to recover, it's a really bad idea.

Keep trying, but when you go at it, you can't be ambivalent. You've got to get fed up and firmly decide "no more, regardless of what my husband says or how I may feel". I highly recommend you find a meeting to go to. You can do this.

endlesspatience

None of the people who are active in my community, taking part in events, organising things or taking responsibility for other people are smoking cannabis every day. Some of them are people who have struggled with addiction and made some changes in their lives. But the active, helpful kind people generally steer clear of drugs, in my experience.

teodor

Nowsthetime it really seems your husband has drug issues with him drinking, smoking and doing shrums and etc. I too remember how when I smoked I would rather not smoke alone and would try to convince my partner to smoke with me and etc, even knowing deep down it's not the right thing to do. It just feels so much better to not do it alone. And when you're refused to and etc, it feels bad and etc ... as racingthoughts says, it feels so much better to have a partner in crime ...

Keep in mind that this is very selfish, but being selfish is very common with every addiction ... I don't know what suggestion I can make and how you can deal with the situation ... keep in mind also that when on drugs, one might say things that doesn't really think and just the whole thinking pattern changes and etc ... it's a tough situation, but you have to deal with it somehow, because yeah, it is emotional blackmail and it's not cool. I understand his situation and how he feels threatened (his addiction) and etc, but that doesn't make in any better for you!

Keep being strong and keep us updated!

Leonidas

I wish lol. I have the opposite problem. I was an all day everyday smoker from the minute I woke up, until the minute I went to bed for over 15 years but managed to quit with relative ease once i started slowly tapering off. I tried cold turkey endless amounts of times but never got to anything close to success with it. Decided to try slowly tapering one day since the other way wasn't working and managed to quit 1st time trying it that way. Was and still am shocked at how smooth and easy it went for me. Certainly not suggesting that will work for everyone but got lucky that time I guess. Trying that same method now with booze(day 4) but has been alot tougher so far. Not going to stop trying though, fingers crossed.

Goodluck and much love to everyone fighting the fight, hang in there y'all.

Nowsthetime

Two weeks today! Used my vacation to jump start it and my mom visiting... She leaves Friday... I feel good. She went out to dinner today and I had a chance to smoke but I didn't. My hubby did. He asked me if I was quitting forever I said that I didn't know but that I didn't want to smoke today... We shall see.

3wolves

I'm new to this thread. I decided a week ago to stop smoking pot. Everyday, multiple times a day for over 20 years. So far, I'm making it. I'm thinking the resolve to be sober has carried over to this addiction. Can't really call myself sober if I'm stoned....

Nowsthetime

Hi 3wolves and welcome. You can post here anytime you want but you probably will not get as many responses since this is an old thread. I think that if you start your own you can get more feedback. I'm saying this because I don't want you to feel discouraged if you don't get responses. I'm glad that you have made the decision to quit. It has been soooo hard for me. I have smoked everyday several times a day for a long time (10 years) and I know that it can't be good for me. It's a real struggle but I'm working on it. Use this site and its support. It can make a huge difference!

3wolves

Thank you Now. I just chimed in where it touched a chord. I do most of this on my cell phone, and options are limited. Best of luck to you. Please forgive me for pirating your thread!!!! I'll get on my tablet. Bless ya!

Dee74

Welcome to the forum 3wolves - if you have hassles starting a thread let me know

D

teodor

Welcome 3wolves and great decision you've made. Which day are you at ? How's going for you ? Keep us posted!

Mountainmanbob

When I was younger I truly thought that I would smoke pot until the day I died. But, I just burned out on the effect prox 13 ? years ago. Yes, way before I got sober off the booze I stopped smoking pot.

Sorry - back to your story. You are right, it does not much good for us and I have noticed from the ones around me who still smoke, it somewhat dulls them down for the moment (at the least).

If we keep breathing and get older, we don't want anything that dulls us down anymore than the natural course of life.

Keep working on it -- and you will be able to stay away from pot.
After we have that clear mind for a while -- we find real peace and enjoyment.

MB

Nowsthetime

Hola:

You didnt pírate it at all hon! You can post here whenever you want. I just want to make sure you are Heard by others and since this is an old one some peeps might not read it.

Post away! That's what we are here for.